I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Weak

More than two months of agony has finally taken a toll on my health.

First of all, i lose a few good KGs. All my pants are loose now; in fact, even my bra seems to be loosen a bit. Even though i've been hoping to lose weight for a few years already, it should not be in such unhealthy way. The effect of losing weight in such way is the terrible complexion on my face -- i looked pale and weak, like a half-dead person.

Then recently i am experiencing short-of-breath after walking and also dizziness or near-blackout after squatting for a while. I went to see doctor and confirmed that i was having low blood pressure, something that i have never had before.

Of course, then there is the sleep deprivation. Not only it darkened the under eye circles that i already had, it also affected my skin with pimples. My lips were also very dry and chapping, which i have no idea what the cause is.

All in all, i am getting weaker. So seriously, this is not the time to even think about our marriage; it is not the time to think about 贝 and what he is or is not doing. It is time to fix myself first, and to do it urgently.

If i were to lose my love and my marriage over this incident, the most important thing is not to lose my health, as it is something that once lose and will never return.

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Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 3:18 pm: Turning around and around again
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:58 pm: My theme song 12
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:50 pm: Not progressing
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:44 am: My theme song 11
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:40 am: Moral consistency
Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ 5:47 pm: My theme song 10
Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ 7:25 am: Crazy
Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ 3:33 am: My theme song 9
Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ 1:33 am: Am back
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 @ 2:03 am: Disappear