Uh huh, i miss him very much still, very very much.
As i mentioned before, wherever i went, 贝 was always with me. I carried him in my heart to wherever i might be and i never felt lonely.
Now, i still carry him with my heart even though i'm half a globe away from him physically and have lost him forever. Yet, thinking of him will only remind me of what he had done and how he had hurt me deeply, and sadness and heartache will ensue.
I'm doing my best to tell myself not to think about him or the affair already, but frankly mind control is my forte.
Nonetheless, this trip is doing me good actually, in the way that i could get out of the familiar places and routine that were trapping me within my sadness. By going to places, meeting new people and learning new things, it opens up my heart for greater things.
Healing takes time, and if time is all that i need to get on my feet again, then i'll just have to be patient. If stop loving him and missing him is impossible, then i'll just let it be. There's nothing wrong in loving a person despite everything. The focus is to be happy, regardless.
Labels: love
