Cogito ergo scribo

Was back to work today and my mood immediately went down the drain.

Oh boy, this sure isn't a good sign.

I'm having a tough time adjusting to little boss's management style. I've been through many jobs, but this is the first time i feel that i'm not being valued and appreciated by a boss.

Let's not talk about the unhappy incident. The part where i really need to get used to is how to move backwards in my career and behave like a "worker", i.e. to just do what i was told.

I do admit that it hurts my pride sometimes, for i've been doing high level job for quite a while, and now i'm being treated as if i'm just fresh out of school. One of the problems is probably due to the fact that i was interviewed and selected by the big boss, but now reporting to the little boss who may or may not know my ability. Sigh, never did i expect that these are what this job entails.

(Lesson learnt: it's best that the person who interviews you is your immediate superior, rather than you reporting to another person later on. After all, people tend to believe in their own judgement and will be more appreciative of the person they have hand-picked.)

Can you imagine being micro-managed by your boss? Gosh, that really gets to me.

Before CNY holiday, little boss went on early leave. After he had gone back to his hometown, he actually wrote me an email asking me what were the things pending on my side. It has been more than a decade that i didn't have any of my bosses asking me to tell them what i was doing in my work. I was rather fed-up, and so i replied with a list of things that i was doing and ended with a sentence, "is there anything else that you think i should be doing?"

Then today, i received a reply from him, asking me to give him the timeline on each and everything on the list i've given. Seriously, that totally kills my mood for the day, or perhaps even for the rest of the CNY.

In all my previous jobs, my bosses had always trusted me to have my work done. Most, if not all of the time, i'd get the job done well, and even above their expectations. That was why they valued my opinions and trusted my judgement.

But now, i'm being asked for a list of things i'm doing with deadlines? It felt as if i'm such a lousy worker that my boss actually gotta watch over me closely. Am i really that bad?

This is not to say that he is a bad person. He isn't, really. He is nice, and doesn't really behave as if he's my boss most of the time. He is capable and knows his stuff well. The problem with him is probably that he's still young and doesn't have much experience just yet in being a leader.

Little boss is three years younger than me, and before he joined the regional HQ, he had worked in the M'sia HQ before as an Assistant IT Manager. That was probably more than two years ago, which means that he was even younger then. I guess he is the kind who has always been outstanding in his life and performed very well in everything he does. That probably contributed to the reasons why he hardly listens to my opinion.

Another thing is that he doesn't understand i'm not a person who should be managed like how he had managed the M'sia team. I think one of the most important things in being a good leader is to have the ability to see the value in his staff and understand what the staff is and is not capable of doing. I'm not sure if he has reached this stage of leadership yet.

I've been telling myself to give him time. I've been telling myself that i should take this as a challenge and prove my worth to him. I've been telling myself that perhaps this is the person who was sent to me to cultivate my patience, a virtue that i'm so lacking of. I've been telling myself so many things everyday, whenever i'm pissed at work, just so that i can get through it without breaking it.

It's not easy, i tell you. No, it's definitely not, especially for a person like me who's so quick-temper and so lack of determination.

Just as i was feeling sianz at work, i received two emails from recruiters asking if i'm looking for jobs, both of which i rejected. Then on the day before the eve of CNY, my ex-boss from the company before my last employment asked me out for lunch. We have been keeping contact via MSN or emails since he left the company when it was in trouble. We haven't met up for more than 2 years already, and recently he had been asking me out for lunch. I've suspected that he must have something up his sleeves.

Frankly, when he was my boss, i had not enjoyed working under him. Of course, he doesn't know about it and actually thinks otherwise.

Anyway, so what happened was that i had an extended lunch hour that day. After his treat to the lunch, he brought me to his office to have a chat. He showed me his company's system and told me about his department structure. He is now a Senior Manager in a local listed company with overseas presence.

And as i've suspected, he was actually "head hunting" me over to work for him as an Assistant Manager. He said he needed someone who is capable and whom he could trust to manage his team of developers and to liaise with the overseas branches. He hasn't been able to get someone who is good enough and he thought that i'll be the best person for the post.

Well, i have no intention of changing job, at least not yet. So, i didn't show much interest and kinda wriggled my way through the subject. But frankly, to say that it wasn't tempting would be a lie. The problem is that i've just changed job, and if i move on again, i'd become a real job hopper. That's gonna look really bad on my resume.

Of course, there are more to it as to why i'd give up this opportunity. There's an interesting story behind it, which i'll relate it tomorrow, as it's getting late and i should be getting to bed soon.

Labels: rant, work