Now whenever i saw a certain new brand or flavour of potato chips, drinks and biscuits at supermarket, or a new book by a certain authors in the bookstore, or a certain genre of new songs by certain singers played on the radio, i'd wonder if he is buying the food and books, or downloading the songs.
Over all these years, he and i had built up a kind of privity (默契) that is hard to find in another person, or at least not unless we spend similar number of years with the other person to build it up.
We know everything about each other, inside-out. We know what we like and dislike, and we know each other's every little habit and pet peeve. Sometimes we don't even have to tell each other or speak a word, and we know what the other person wants or needs. That was also probably why i was able to catch his lies and sense the abnormality in his behaviours when he was cheating on me.
All these are now slowly drifting away of course. Since the affair started, he has changed so much that i no longer can tell a lot of things about him. He probably feels the same way about me too.
It's really heart-breaking to know that all these knowing-each-other-by-hearts that were developed slowly over all these years could be so easily destroyed within just 3 months.
Yes, life is such. Things that are so precious take time to build up, but to ruin them can be instantaneous. It's pretty much like constructing a building. It needs time to lay the foundation and finally to have it completed in years; but to demolish it, all we need is just a few minutes and kaboom! Everything just goes to the ground and all that is left is just the debris that takes time to clean up.
We had the foundation, we built our home, and he put the bomb in to pulverize it. Now what's left is just the broken pieces of my heart.
Labels: love
