Cogito ergo scribo

Am at the airport now, waiting for the gate to open.

Am flying off to Pennsylvania, USA later on 1am flight. Will be there for about three weeks, and the stay may be shortened or extended depending on the progress of the project. I'm travelling with one of my subordinates, while big boss will be flying off tomorrow.

At first, i was very reluctant to travel so far and for so long. In fact, i even contemplated resignation because of this. But then, a friend told me that this is a rare opportunity. She said i am actually very blessed. With such bad economic climate, i still get to go overseas to work. And the timing is also great, as i really should get outta this place for a while, even if it's for work.

Actually i felt very sad for the whole of today. I woke up feeling the heartache again. I went through the day feeling miserable, and then when i was in the MRT on my way back home after work, i couldn't take it anymore and started crying silently. I lowered my head and i think no one noticed me. Then when i was back at my room before doing the final packing, i wept for a good while.

I told myself not to cry while i'm at the US. If i ever feel depressed again, i will read the Bible, read the working materials, play computer games, read magazines or book, watch tv, or do whatever that can help me to divert my attention from the misery.

I can't be sure if i will be better or worse when i come back. In fact, i can't even be sure if i will be back at all. I mean, nowadays, i very much believe in the unpredictability of life. We can never know what will happen next, so take everyday as if it were our last.

It may be bad omen to actually even mention such thing, but then i'm never a superstitious person anyway. Just that if really the inevitable happens, to those who love me and whom i love, thank you for being part of my life.

Labels: travel, work