Cogito ergo scribo

There are two pairs of couples on the bus. One pair is very young couple, while the other seems to be at around my age. Both are very loving, leaning beside each other at the seat and holding hands after they alight the bus. That of course brought back some memories again.

The last time i went to Genting (by bus too) was like, erm, more than 5 years ago i think. Seriously, i can't recall when was it already.

I went with 贝, and we were still very much in love at that time. I remember that was the first time i played in a casino. I don't remember much details about that trip already, except some flashes of us playing on the Jackpot machines, sipping coffee outdoor in the cool weather, having fun at the under-maintained theme park, saw a lot of Middle East tourists, had Korean food (our first i think), bought two key chains with our names engraved onto a grain of rice, and contemplated if we should make the wax hands as souvenir.

I guess between Cameron and Genting, i'd have to choose the less memorable one, just so that i can calm my mind. But human brains work in a strange way sometimes. I'm not sure if seeing the actual places would actually bring back more vivid memories of us. It probably will, but that's really nothing i can do about it. As i mentioned before, the memories of two 贝s are just everywhere that there's nowhere for me to run to except to face it.

Now i come to think about it, to YY, maybe this place is not just the memory of two 贝s only. I wouldn't be surprised if he had also driven that woman here for vacation during their trip to KL. I mean, why not, since it's so near and he would definitely wanna show her around Msia and to have fun with her. I would never get to know if they did or did not come here, and it's not important really. I think i am lucky that i didn't get to see any pictures of them taken together in Genting like the ones i saw in KL. If so, i would have struck out Genting for my break as well.

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There's a group of family in the bus. One of the family members is watching a movie on a portable DVD player and he actually turned on the volume instead of using an earphone.

Most of the passengers were actually sleeping and were awaken by the noise. The girlfriend of one of the couples was extremely annoyed and made the "shh" sound loudly several times, but of course the inconsiderate selfish guy just ignored her and continued watching the movie happily.

I guess the world is just full of selfish people. They have no consideration for others at all. Such people are always just "me me me me me", and do not spare a thought for the others at all. Yet when they were being inconvenienced, they will actually accused of others being selfish and not spare a thought for them instead.

YY did that too back in May, in an incident on driving my grandma back from JB back to SG. It was a Sunday, after his badminton game (and meet up with that China woman, which of course i wasn't aware of it then), we had lunch and then were to return to SG. Grandma had come into JB a few days before to see the doctor, and mom asked us to send grandma back to Woodlands since we were going back (so that mom did not have to drive grandma back all the way).

YY was very unhappy about this, and was sulking in the car. I was very pissed at him and did not speak a word to him on the highway. He then deliberately accelerated the car up to 160km/hr, with my grandma sitting at the back seat. I was furious, and when he stopped at the petrol station, i went down and confronted him. I lambaste him for being totally inconsiderate in driving at such high speed with a 90+ years old lady at the back, probably frightening her. I railed at him, saying that i knew he was unhappy about sending grandma back home because it wasn't on the way and it would inconvenience him, but then he could drive all the way to JB to see that woman and i didn't see him complain about anything (and for that matter, he could even drive her all the way to KL and bear all the cost!).

I called him a selfish man and he got mad. He said my grandma's daughter (i.e. my mom) was the selfish one, as why she couldn't drive grandma back herself and gotta ask us to do it instead, when he gotta drive around SG when he was already so tired after the morning badminton game (well, he didn't seem to be tired when he woke up so early just to go meet that woman before the game).

Yes, if you are thinking about what kind of twisted logic that he was giving, then you will know that how impossible it was for me to talk sense into him at all. Since he fell for that woman, his attitude towards me had changed totally. Whenever i wanted to talk sense into him, explaining to him what he had done wrong, he'd just become defensive and behaved like a total jerk. He'd use all kinds of such twisted logic or threw unreasonable comments at me.

You know, if you are arguing with a person wth reasons, then whoever's right will have the upper hand. Yet, if you are arguing with a person who does not want to talk reason, then you can never convince the person of anything except getting yourself furiously mad. I'm never a person who's good in such arguements, so i'd always be forced into tears whenever he behaved in such a way. This is exactly a display of the saying, "never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty but the pig loves it".

Anyway, that ugly episode has forever etched into my mind. I have always abhorred people who do not have any considerations for old folks. Whenever i see people in the MRT who do not give up their seats for frail elderly, i'd be so pissed. Yet, my husband was actually the one who did such inconsiderate act, and to my own grandma!

Furthermore, i love my grandma dearly even though i don't show it all the time. Our heated arguement in the car actually scared her and made her very worried. After she went back home, she even told my aunt about it. Luckily she doesn't understand what we were talking about (grandma only speaks Hainanese), otherwise she would be so heart-broken to know that her only grandson-in-law actually felt that she is an nuisance for inconveniencing him in driving her home.

So you see, this world is pack with selfish people. They are all around us, probably just sleeping beside you every night, and you wouldn't know about it until their love for you diminished. I know there's selfishness in all of us, for it's a weakness of humankind. Yet, if we don't see the problem in it, and do not strive to overcome such weakness, we will forever live in a world of our own, thinking that the world must follow and gratify our every whim and need.

No, the world should not work in this way. Real happiness lies in giving and not taking. Only when you give that you will get more happiness in return. That, is something we all should always remember.

Labels: rant, travel