After all, love is non-logical and hence it's subjective. It differs from person to person. So really, who am i to say that what is and is not true love.
So maybe YY and that woman do have true love, well, at least in their definitions.
But to me, true love is really as what i've mentioned in my several posts before. Love is selflessness and giving. It's putting the other person's happiness and wellbeing ahead of your own. It's wanting to grow old with the person and building a future together. It's knowing the person inside-out and still love him for who he is and even who he is not. It's willing to go through good times and bad times with the person even when you can take care of your own needs perfectly well. It's seeing beyond anything materials and take him as he is. It's faithfulness and long-lasting, even when the person has hurt and betrayed you.
A few articles i came across that really aptly explain my definition of true love.
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth (as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on lovingkindness) is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love....
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient’s life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, “the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality,” and, consequently, wanting that person to “grow and unfold as he [or she] is.” These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her...
The more you give, the more you love. This is why your parents (who’ve given you more than you’ll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they’ll love you...
... if someone mistreats you while professing to love you, remember: “Love is a behavior.” A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving—not only saying “I love you,” but showing it. (source)
Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. (source)
There are a few things love isn’t. Love isn’t a feeling. Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings, love does not equate with the sense of floating on clouds. Unlike the type of love that movies, television, and songs portray, people in love don’t always feel ooey gooey around each other.
A relationship wouldn’t last long on emotions. In fact, knowledge is the basis of a healthy relationship...
Knowing about the person’s personality and character are so important...
If the relationship is going to be long term, we need to be going in the same general direction as the other person...
Love isn’t sex. That statement alone goes against a lot of what the entertainment industry feeds us. Whenever two people hook up in pop culture, they have sex. Without showing some of the unpleasant realities of premarital and extramarital sex, it is drawn up to be a wonderful, fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage–a long-lasting commitment between a couple. Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences. Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, insecurity, and shame can follow. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two are physically close and find each other sexually attractive...
Love is a choice. It’s a commitment. Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be a part of marriage, a lasting, healthy relationship cannot be based on these things. (source)
Yes, so i realise now that my definition of true love does not exist in the real world. It's a dream world that i've been living in, and now i've awaken.
But then, you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one.
Labels: love
