I could give you advice on what to do and what to feel. But then, with your wisdom, you already know how to do the right things and do the things right.
I could have told you what i would do if i were you. But then, i'm not you, and i could never be you, nor you be me.
So here's the thing, my friend. Listen up, or rather, read on.
I love you dearly as a friend. And as a friend, we shouldn't judge, or at least i do my best not to. I don't wanna put my values on you and tell you what's right and wrong. And being a good friend, i should tell you that i'd support you all the way, and i do sincerely meant it when i said that.
But then, being a good friend, i should also tell you the harsh truth.
Our job should never define who we are or our self worth. Work, and whatever you've achieved in your career, is just a means to an end. It's just a path for you to reach where you wanna go; it's just an avenue for you to accomplish what you want for your life. It's not, and should never become, the purpose of life.
I haven't worked in a place for even half as long as you have, and i haven't (and may never) gotten to the high post as you have either. While i admire your perseverance, i do wonder sometimes if this dogged persistence is killing you as well.
Yes, it requires extreme determination to hold on to something that's unfavourable to you, but it requires absolute wisdom to know when to let go.
Yes, it takes great courage to strive on in the face of adversity, but it takes even greater courage to move on.
I'm not saying that you are not wise or you are timid. It's just that when things are taken to the extreme, whatever good will simply turn into bad.
So why do things have to come to this? When we are stuck, we either change others, change the environment, or change ourselves. Regardless of what changes we opt for, the bottom line is that we should never stop our quest for happiness.
I've said it many times before and i'd say it again. Life's too short to be stuck in constant unhappiness. I once wrote in one of my blog post that,
Till this day, i still don't know what i want for life. Yes, 30 years of age yet i'm still searching for a direction in life. I wonder when will i find it, or will i ever find it at all? Some people know what they want for life since young and spend their whole lives working towards their goals, while some don't know or can't be bothered and just live their lives as they are, one day at a time. Perhaps i'm the latter. Perhaps i'm neither. Whatever it is, i've come to terms with myself. I still feel apprehensive sometimes about my aimlessness but this feeling doesn't deter me from living my life happily. On my deathbed, I may look back and see that i've lived without a purpose and i've achieved nothing great, but let the inscription on my tombstone be: "she was loved, happy and blessed, and for that, she left with a smile".
Let me ask you this: if you were to die today, will you be having the same inscription on your tombstone? Will you rather be remembered as a person who has led a happy life, or have everyone says "oh, she's a hard worker" at every mention of your name?
I hate to see you being so devouted in your work and yet get no enjoyment out of it at all. If anything, i'd wished for nothing but happiness for you, no matter which path you may have chosen for your life.
And please, my friend, be happy. You deserve so much more.
Labels: friendship
