It's a mixture of love/hate feelings for me when it rains in the morning.
I love it because it is breezy and cooling. I'm sleeping in a non-aircon room now, and sometimes when the weather is really hot, i'd be sweating already even before i leave the house. So if it rains in the morning, at least i won't become all sweaty and smelly by just changing clothes and putting up make-up.
Yet, i hate it too because i'm taking bus to work now. And it is not just one bus but two; i need to transit to a different bus because there is no direct bus from where i stay now to my workplace. So when it rains, i'd have to walk to the bus stop with the umbrella; if it rains heavily, i would still get wet by the time i reached the bus stop.
This morning when i was on the bus, looking out of the window, i saw several cars with a male driver and a female passenger. The ladies were putting on their make-up on the car while the guys were driving. This was the same thing that 贝 and i would do every morning when we drove to work together.
Now, i stood on the bus with my heavy backpack, looking at others doing the same exact thing that i used to do, as if the life i used to have were flashing past me. It did make me feel rather dejected.
It is time like this that i'd really wonder what the heck i am doing. Big boss said he does not understand why i am punishing myself when i have done nothing wrong; my friends also asked me why i am doing this to myself when i wasn't the one at fault.
Seriously, i have no answer to that, for whatever reasons there are will just appear as pure silliness on my part. I will just have to not think about it and tell myself that:
天将降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行拂乱其所为，所以动心忍性，增益其所不能
Literally translated as,
When Heaven is about to place a great responsibility on a person, it always first frustrates his spirit and will, exhausts his muscles and bones, exposes him to starvation and poverty, harasses him by troubles and setbacks so as to stimulate his spirit, toughen his nature and enhance his abilities
See, the rain always brings out the melancholy mood in people, but it could also cleanse your thoughts and soul.
But i do wish that if won't rain later in the evening when i'm going back home.
Labels: rant
