I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Snakes and ladders

Recently i am taking the snakes and ladders board game as a metaphor for the current state of my mind.

This morning, i woke up feeling like i landed on the square with a ladder that brought me up. I was in a rather calm mood, and could concentrate well at work too.

But then, as i moved forward on the board, i hit the square with a snake and slided down again.

At the end of the day, i felt exceptionally sad and fell into self-pity mode. I reached the place i rented feeling very down. I started crying when i was at the lift, and then cried all the way to the unit and when taking bath.

So i can't really classify today as a good or bad day for me really. I guess it wasn't entirely bad since i had at least been rather productive at work, even though not at my full force as last time. That's one small step forward nonetheless.

Anyway, as i mentioned, i accepted that this is the ups and downs i'll have to face for many months/years to come. No big deal, really. Throw the dice and continue on; who knows i may land on a ladder again tomorrow.

It is gonna be a long game, with many squares of snakes on the way before reaching the final squares. I could of course choose to stand still and dare not to make any more moves in case i land on a snake again.

But then, if i don't move on, i will forever be on the same square and forever won't reach that final square. Furthermore, there are lots of ladders too. I may actually land on one and bring me closer to where i wanna be.

So, why stop moving just because there are snakes around and then forget about the ladders?

The bottom line is -- never give up on ourselves and things will get better eventually. It always does.

Labels:

YES!i have been watching your mood sign in blog. Finally u changed. Is ok, my son is making one small step every day. And now he is trying to move two steps at a time. U too, eventually you will walk with your own pace again. Trust me... by your side always. DS

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Thursday, April 30, 2009 @ 3:35 am: My theme song 14
Thursday, April 30, 2009 @ 3:09 am: US project
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 @ 3:57 am: Resentment
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 5:55 pm: Better
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 5:06 pm: My theme song 13
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 3:29 pm: Weak
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @ 3:18 pm: Turning around and around again
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:58 pm: My theme song 12
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:50 pm: Not progressing
Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 1:44 am: My theme song 11