I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Thursday, October 15, 2009


An incident happened a few blocks away from where i stay.

Someone jumped down (or fell down, or being pushed down) from high floor and died. The body is still there, covered with cloth, and the police are still around as well.

It happened a few hours ago. I do not know what really happened. I do not know if the person is male or female, and i'm not sure if the person had committed suicide, or it was an accident or murder.

Come to think about it, if it was a suicide, just when i was in my room working and immersing in my sorrow, that person might be experiencing a more devastating event in his/her life, so much so that he/she decided to end the life.

This reminds me that YY had once told me, in a manner lacking of empathy, that he could never understand why anyone would wanna commit suicide. Recently, he told me otherwise. He said he could finally understand how those people felt at the point of time when they decided to end their lives.

I know how it felt because i have had this kind of feeling before -- the feeling that life has no more meaning, that life is nothing but sufferings, that there appears to be no way out of the agony, that the hurt is too much and too painful that death seems to be the only way to stop it...

That was why i gotta keep myself sober at all times, for i need to have a clear mind to keep myself sane every second. I'd never know when the depression would come attack again and even the slightest slide in my sanity would simply mean that i may be the next person covered with a piece of white cloth.

Do not judge the people who chose to kill themselves. We could never understand the exact feelings until we are put in the very same spot ourselves, to be hurt the same way and to feel what they are feeling.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that they are right. I do not agree with their choice, but i understand... i understand.

May all those troubled souls rest in peace.

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