Since the Malaysia election seems to be the hottest topic now among fellow Malaysians and lots of anti-government posts and campaigning have gone viral on the FB and the Web, i am gonna write something about the election as well today.
No, no, i am not gonna write anything about politics here, for i seriously do not know that much about it to warrant writing a post on it. I mean, yeah, i do read the things posted on the Web and read some of the political news on-and-off, but i am definitely not an avid follower of Malaysian political scene. In fact, i'd say i only follow the development halfheartedly.
Well, i've never said I am a patriot. I am not, and i'm not afraid to say that i am not. I am not proud of it but nor do i feel ashamed about it. Judge me all you can and I couldn't care less about what you think. Unless and until you have done truly patriotic act to prove yourself, whatever you say or think about me is only the proverbial pot and kettle. At least my action and words are consistent, as i don't pretend to love my country and willing to die for it, bla bla bla. Yet, if you judge me but you aren't doing the opposite, then it only makes you a hypocrite.
And if you have truly done patriotic acts to show your love for the country, then i can only say kudos to you. I do have friends who are walking the talk, and i'd say good for them. The country definitely needs people more like them and less like me... and i hope whatever they do is worthwhile and whatever they hope to achieve will indeed come true one day (even if it is not in our lifetime).
Now, what i really am going to write about is what i've mentioned in my previous post on not going back in May for the election. Unfortunately, i missed the deadline of registering as overseas voter too. Hence, this means that i will not be casting my vote this election.
About the overseas postal voting, i gotta admit that it was my fault for not following up on the news and didn't take the initiative to find out more about it. I have always known that overseas citizens were not able to cast votes and this has been one of the points that was consistently brought up to the EC for improvement. I have also heard or read that there had been talk about making postal votes possible for the coming election, but i did not really follow up on the progress on this.
Just a few days after i arrived in NZ, i already registered myself online with the High Commission of Malaysia here. I have thought that the High Comm would have a list of citizens residing here and we would be informed to register as overseas voters if postal voting had been made possible. As i've heard nothing from them, i assumed it was still not happening this election. So it turned out that i made a wrong assumption. It was supposed to be our duty to find out about it, and i didn't know that it was already announced in January - that citizens residing overseas are to download and fill out a form to register themselves with the EC (in fact, none of my friends knew about it too).
I only found out about it when a FB friend posted the form on FB, which was the day after the parliament had been dissolved. The form must reached EC prior to the parliament dissolved and hence i was too late already. No overseas postal voting for me. :(
Then, the next option would of course be to fly back to vote. Did it cross my mind? Yes, it did, but only for a few minutes and i quickly dismissed it. My answer on this was quite clear - it is a "no".
You see, if i am now working in Singapore or Thailand or Indonesia, my answer would be a definite yes.
If i am working in China or Hong Kong or Taiwan and have not planned for a holiday yet, my answer will still be a definite yes. But if i've already planned for a holiday like i mentioned, then it would be a high probable yes (not a DEFINITE one).
If i'm in Australia, NZ, Europe or USA and have not planned for a holiday yet, i'd arranged my holiday to coincide with this election, so it will be killing two birds with one stone - i get to go back to vote as well as to have my holidays.
But now, it is the last scenario, and the answer seems clear to me.
Now, let's just pretend that you are me.
You have already had a confirmed air ticket and will be taking three weeks leave for returning home in July/August. The air ticket can of course be changed at some extra charges, but you must go back during that time because you want to coincide your return with two major events that are very dear and personal to you: the annual return of one of your best friends from Japan, and the one-in-a-lifetime centennial celebration of your high school anniversary (yes, my high school is 100 years old this year!). For me, these two events weigh far more than casting my vote.
Next, you must scoop out about NZD1K or more for a return ticket. Well, this isn't really a major consideration for me, as i'd probably be willing to do so if i choose to go back, but that is still a sum of money that you gotta be willing to spend for your country anyway.
Then here's the killer. Imagine that this is what you gotta do: fly off from Wellington on 3-May (Fri) evening, arrive in SG on 4-May (Sat), go back to JB and cast your vote on 5-May (Sun), and then return to SG to catch an evening flight back to Wellington. You will arrive in Wellington on 6-May (Mon), probably late afternoon, and the next day (Tue) will have to return to work. In total, due to the in-transit time and all, the to-and-fro travelling time including land and air transport will be more than 24 hours, all happening within three-day period, and you still gotta go back to work on your projects right after that. I don't know about you, but i'll be half-dead by then.
As i'm using most of my leave for the three-weeks holiday in July/August, i can't take long leave in May for this return, which is just two months before the holiday when i'd be flying back again. I have not even worked here for a year yet and can't be taking long leave all the time. This means if i indeed were to go back in May, i could only do what i described above, i.e. to just go back solely to vote for a day and then fly back again and back to work on the next day.
Now, after having imagined you are in my situation like this, and you are still willing to either cancel the July trip and go back in May for voting and holiday as well (and "sacrifice" the two major events you deem very important to you), or keep the July trip but go back for a day just for voting (and return to work half-dead), then again i'd say kudos, you do care for your country. Good for you.
As i've mentioned earlier, i am not a patriot and i'm not gonna pretend that i am. There is no way that i'm gonna put myself through this flying-here-and-there stun just for casting the vote. You may say that whatever i've written so far are just all excuses for not going back purposely to vote; if i have the heart, then i'd do it. Then i'd say this to you - yes, i do NOT have the heart to do it, for other things (such as my friends, my school, my work, etc.) are more important to me and hence i admit that i am not that patriotic at all. Now, bite me.
And so far, none of the Malaysians i've met here are gonna do that either. I have not seen a lot of people from USA, Europe or the Pacific posting on the Web claiming that they are doing it either. I guess that pretty much explains why the overseas voter registration was so much lower than expected. Of course, a high percentage of overseas voters are in Singapore or other Asian countries and a lot of them are going back to vote. Then for the rest who willingly left the country on their own accord and already applied for residency at the foreign countries (and some even converted or waiting to convert to the citizenship of that foreign country), they wouldn't have left Malaysia in the first place if they love their home country so much. If they so love Malaysia, they would have stayed on and fight for a better future in that land.
Yes, call me judgemental or whatever, but to stay at overseas for many years and have made up the mind to settle down at that foreign country and not return to Malaysia, and then still claim to be patriotic, i only find it incongruous and hypocritical. Of course, you may say that's because they need to make a better living elsewhere, or the quality of life is better elsewhere, yadda yadda yadda. Well, then they are still putting their personal life above the country, isn't it?
True patriotism and truly loving your country is to put the country before oneself and above anything else. I don't have to mention names of those internationally renown historical figures to prove my point. Even in our own country, people like Lim Kiat Siang who went through all the hardships to fight for a better Malaysia would have exemplified my point. If you can't do like what he or those people had done for the country, then just shut up. Otherwise, you are just the pot and i'm the kettle.
(But frankly, if we were to ask ourselves this, "would you die for your country?" How many would really say "yes" and really mean it and indeed do it when time comes? Don't ask me. My answer is "no".)
Cogito ergo scribo
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Not going back
| Cogitated @ 2:15 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
| 
Ha, you gotta drop by RPk site to really read how fanatical and hypocritical of some commenters - so contradicting and inconsistent. But then, they could be making it up but they're sure funny (election is no funny hor). Going through to the comments, how many do believe the postal votes are genuine and not another ruling gov machinery to increase votes, you know, by other means. Of course this allegation is unfair to SPR that worked hard for the facility, but judging the action and the independence, I will have doubt. So, for foreign voters they really should fly back until the day commissioner is fully revamped and truly earn the trust from the public.
You know, i opine that people who says they are not patriotic, selfish, bla bla are actually the one who doing quite the opposite. Just look around at workplace when it comes to behavioral observation. What right it gives for one to judge other people when he should reflect to himself first. It's unfair to call people unpatriotic when one places his/her own interest first above all for life of a commoner. That's so darn hypocritical. The fact that some people have better position or motivation but to force the same action from under privileged people is just wrong. Even if it's same, I believe one should advise, educate but not to jest, taunt or force. And that's what democracy is all about, the right to make and even abstain. Yup, it crosses my mind to abstain my vote, to follow the majority cause I'm quite pretty ignorant to political affair. And my MP is talking about policies that on theory it is good and benefits all, but .... being in working industry for so long, I'm strongly believe in action speaks louder than words. Well, who knows on that day the election fever takes the different path. At least you went for the march, so no one should comment about your patriotism.
Speaking of publicity, I must say the current PM sure generates feel good factor. Minus the murder allegation, the sabotage, the vacation, the excess, the corruption, etc etc, he seems like a friendly man. I told my colleague I really want to vote him. But one's deed should not reflect to the other people. He's doing everything, albeit singlehandedly, but his Mp and dun might be maggots, rotten worms. So, I want to vote him, but not his representatives, and my constituency is not pekan ....
Oh lastly, maybe you are not intentional, you misspelled LKS name. Gotta respect for what he has done for the country! Hopefully this post would not invite some extremists from both sides. Cheers, have a good day :)
, at 19/4/13 3:34 am
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Lessons learnt
I have successfully completed the Google course and received a certificate of completion from Google.
The course was quite interesting and i have learnt a few things that i did not know about in using Google search. I would say one of the most valuable lessons was the reminder of always take note of the credibility of what we found from the Web.
This is actually something we all know - what's on the Internet may not necessarily be correct and we must always take it with a pinch of salt. However, despite knowing this, we still rely heavily on the information we found from the Web and simply take it as facts. A lot of people, more often than not, would just believe what they read on the Web without validating it.
An example of such incident was shared during one of the sessions. It was about a fake quotation being wrongly attributed to Martin Luther King Jr. The article is quite a good read and illustrates a few things:
The course was quite interesting and i have learnt a few things that i did not know about in using Google search. I would say one of the most valuable lessons was the reminder of always take note of the credibility of what we found from the Web.
This is actually something we all know - what's on the Internet may not necessarily be correct and we must always take it with a pinch of salt. However, despite knowing this, we still rely heavily on the information we found from the Web and simply take it as facts. A lot of people, more often than not, would just believe what they read on the Web without validating it.
An example of such incident was shared during one of the sessions. It was about a fake quotation being wrongly attributed to Martin Luther King Jr. The article is quite a good read and illustrates a few things:
- About communication - as mentioned in Fact #4 in a little story i have written before, words get distorted after going through a few hands. Sometimes the fact may even get so garbled that it is totally different from its original form. In this incident, even a simple copy-and-paste from the FB message can get distorted.
- About the information age - the Internet is one powerful platform that can be used to create untrue facts. This incident shows how a FB message changed its form and spread over the Internet in such unbelievable speed. And due to the nature of search engines, the more people write about it the more hits we would get from our search results and hence wrongly making us believe that it is a fact. One thing that the course kept emphasizing was that the search results and result ranking do not mean authenticity and validity. It is simply a collection of what are out there on the Internet. When everyone says the same thing doesn't make that thing a truth. I think i do not need to re-tell the story of how everyone in the ancient time used to believe that the earth was square until one man proved everyone wrong.
- About human nature - people hate being told that they are wrong, even when the facts are shouting right at their faces. They will get all defensive when people disagree with them and point out their mistakes. They do not understand that by not recognising their mistakes, they appear as more foolish than they already are and will continue to make a fool of themselves when they continue to make the same mistake over and over again.
- About what we once learnt from school - punctuation is very important.
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 3:08 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
Congratulations!! Sure it comes handy not for work but treasure hunts too, if it hits right :). Hmm, just thought, are you going to use the cert in resume ... And then, you didn't share tips and tricks but only psychological stuff, oh well, maybe it's proprietary or I just google for it.
Oh, this just reminds me of research and facts gathered from blogs (not yours) used as evidence in politics and also international court. And wiki is not always right too. Of course no one will admit mistake when comes to face-to-face, but there are reflection and introspection, to ponder the mistakes and to right the err quietly without losing much face and credibility. Sometimes it'll be even more stupid to admit outright depending the situation lor. By the way, who's the guy proved the world is round - I know that it was not "one" man and certainly more than one, some stayed quiet coz of persecution. Cheers, don't stay away from the gym :). , at 26/10/12 7:38 pm
Just wanna share with you.
Dr Richard Teo's testimony after cancer diagnosis
http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/eat-drink-man-woman-16/dr-richard-teos-testimony-after-cancer-diagnosis-3953642-2.html , at 29/10/12 5:26 pm
Monday, February 27, 2012
Recent hot topics
I've not been updating my blog as regularly as i've hoped. There's a reason for that. I don't feel like blogging about it now, as it's rather personal. For now, let's just stick to something less personal.
This post is just gonna be my random thoughts on some of the recent hot topics, which i had my opinions but didn't really get down to writing it.
Lynas. No, i didn't travel all the way to Kuantan for the protest but i did show my support on FB.
There are different news from different sources claiming different things. I am not a nuclear or chemical expert, so i really do not know if the plant is indeed hazardous or not. Yet for things like this, it's always better to be safe than sorry, especially given the creditability (or lack thereof) of Malaysia government.
Seriously, this is something that we can't even risk 1% of error or mistake, for there will be dire consequence not only for the people in Kuantan but also potentially for the entire region. And frankly, what's the real benefit of having the plant in Malaysia when we are granting tax exemptions for the company? Foreign investment for creating more jobs in Malaysia you said? Well, i am not economic expert either, but i do not think the economic benefit outweigh the safety of human lives. And really, there is a better way to attract GOOD foreign investment if you are really serious about it - by having a clean government with well-skilled and well-educated labour force, which is conducive to doing business. Fix the corruption and the education system, and we are half-way there already.
KFC i-City incident. Yes, i know this has been settled, but i just wanna say my piece here, especially after reading so many idiotic comments on the Web - for God's sake, STOP making everything happens in Malaysia into a racial and political topic. It only makes us look stupid.
This incident was about horrible customer service. It was about assault and battery (which is a crime in most developed countries but i'm not so sure about Malaysia). It does not matter what races the aggressor and the victim were; it does not matter too whether or not anyone calling anyone else names. Whoever lays his hands on another person first is wrong. Period.
Jeremy Lin. In case you are wondering, i used to be a NBA fan when i was studying in Canada. It was the era of Michael Jordan and we were crazy about him. I kinda stopped following the game after my return to Malaysia. After all, basketball isn't such a big thing in Malaysia compared to badminton and soccer.
Now the latest sensation in the NBA world got my attention on the game again, or rather, should i say my attention on him. Uh huh, i am so in love with Jeremy Lin. Erm, i did not mean love in that kind of way, in case you are mistaken.
Tall (6'3"), intelligent (Harvard grad), charming (cute smile and eloquent), Asian American (i love the accent), talented, hard working, humble, polite, and a devoted Christian who gives glory to God everytime. I simply love this kid!
EDL toll fee. One word (or three?): WTF!
If the government really allows such exorbitant toll fee for travelling to and fro Singapore (which SG government will follow suit to increase their toll rate as well), then the happiest of all will be the Singapore government. With such high cost of travelling in and out of JB, Singaporeans will reduce their travels to Malaysia. The Malaysians who work in Singapore but staying in JB now may consider moving into Singapore instead since the cost of travelling may end up not having much difference than staying in Singapore (which can save time and energy).
And also, can the government please stop signing all those contracts with the construction companies that would hurt the welfare of the citizens?! It is so sickening!
This post is just gonna be my random thoughts on some of the recent hot topics, which i had my opinions but didn't really get down to writing it.
Lynas. No, i didn't travel all the way to Kuantan for the protest but i did show my support on FB.
There are different news from different sources claiming different things. I am not a nuclear or chemical expert, so i really do not know if the plant is indeed hazardous or not. Yet for things like this, it's always better to be safe than sorry, especially given the creditability (or lack thereof) of Malaysia government.
Seriously, this is something that we can't even risk 1% of error or mistake, for there will be dire consequence not only for the people in Kuantan but also potentially for the entire region. And frankly, what's the real benefit of having the plant in Malaysia when we are granting tax exemptions for the company? Foreign investment for creating more jobs in Malaysia you said? Well, i am not economic expert either, but i do not think the economic benefit outweigh the safety of human lives. And really, there is a better way to attract GOOD foreign investment if you are really serious about it - by having a clean government with well-skilled and well-educated labour force, which is conducive to doing business. Fix the corruption and the education system, and we are half-way there already.
KFC i-City incident. Yes, i know this has been settled, but i just wanna say my piece here, especially after reading so many idiotic comments on the Web - for God's sake, STOP making everything happens in Malaysia into a racial and political topic. It only makes us look stupid.
This incident was about horrible customer service. It was about assault and battery (which is a crime in most developed countries but i'm not so sure about Malaysia). It does not matter what races the aggressor and the victim were; it does not matter too whether or not anyone calling anyone else names. Whoever lays his hands on another person first is wrong. Period.
Jeremy Lin. In case you are wondering, i used to be a NBA fan when i was studying in Canada. It was the era of Michael Jordan and we were crazy about him. I kinda stopped following the game after my return to Malaysia. After all, basketball isn't such a big thing in Malaysia compared to badminton and soccer.
Now the latest sensation in the NBA world got my attention on the game again, or rather, should i say my attention on him. Uh huh, i am so in love with Jeremy Lin. Erm, i did not mean love in that kind of way, in case you are mistaken.
Tall (6'3"), intelligent (Harvard grad), charming (cute smile and eloquent), Asian American (i love the accent), talented, hard working, humble, polite, and a devoted Christian who gives glory to God everytime. I simply love this kid!
EDL toll fee. One word (or three?): WTF!
If the government really allows such exorbitant toll fee for travelling to and fro Singapore (which SG government will follow suit to increase their toll rate as well), then the happiest of all will be the Singapore government. With such high cost of travelling in and out of JB, Singaporeans will reduce their travels to Malaysia. The Malaysians who work in Singapore but staying in JB now may consider moving into Singapore instead since the cost of travelling may end up not having much difference than staying in Singapore (which can save time and energy).
And also, can the government please stop signing all those contracts with the construction companies that would hurt the welfare of the citizens?! It is so sickening!
| Cogitated @ 4:25 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
it's not that we didn't have this history like this in the past. The government too had ensured that the bukit merah was safe and built according to stringent standards and even challenge, yup, shift the burden to prove to public if it was hazardous to health and enviornment. and yet the outcome was disaster, and after 10 years the plant was finally decommisioned, but reaped all the tax free benefits and time to pack up anyway. imagine the ads posted up in MSM saying Lynas is safe (the local employees face and name are posted, i wonder if they would get jeered when out in the public), but then newspaper has to stay neutral after all. the thing is there are some people still see the protest as political exploitation, and given that the company and government refused to budge surely there must be huge money changed hand. there's even saying that some influetial person have stake in it. no matter what counter explanation, with so many of fiasco recently due to mismanagement, poor governance, especially the past track record, it's better to be safe than sorry. Say no to lynas! we certainly don't need that kind of investment to move on.
oh well, if only our government has people welfare in mind to begin with. or maybe they do, but a fool, easily be exploited and carried away with cronysm, nepotism, sigh ... perhaps you should be involve in politics to make a better malaysia :). cheers. , at 27/2/12 5:18 am
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Tribute to a great man
My friends know that i am an Apple fans. What they may now know is that i like and respect Steve Jobs very much for his work and leadership.
I am not gonna write a long post about him and his passing. I believe much have been and will be said about him for the coming days or even weeks. I am also not writing this simply because everyone else is doing it.
I just want to post this up as a tribute to him.
For my friends who know me since young will remember that my dad was in the computer business. He set up his own business and it was the very first shop in JB that sold computers (a distributor). That was back in the 1980s. For those who are familiar with the development of computers should know that back in those days, the most popular personal computer was the Apple II.
Yes, back in those days, when i was just a kindergarten kid, i had my first encounter with computers. There were always a few Apple II at home that my dad brought back from the shop. To my brother and i, these computers were just another toy for us to play the games (oh those monochrome green screen!).
Sometimes when i looked back, i would wonder what i would have become today if my dad had not gotten sick, sold the business and passed away. The path of my life would have been so different. But then, there is never a 'would-have-been' in our life.
Anyway, in remembrance of Steve Jobs, i am going to post up the screenshots from the Apple homepage here.
Some people may not like him and may have different opinion of him, but to people who are in the technology field, he was undoubtedly one of the greatest geniuses in our era.
How do you know if a person is truly great and has made history? Well, if even the strongest competitor pays tribute and mourns his passing, then there is no doubt about his eminence in his field and to the world.
I am not gonna write a long post about him and his passing. I believe much have been and will be said about him for the coming days or even weeks. I am also not writing this simply because everyone else is doing it.
I just want to post this up as a tribute to him.
For my friends who know me since young will remember that my dad was in the computer business. He set up his own business and it was the very first shop in JB that sold computers (a distributor). That was back in the 1980s. For those who are familiar with the development of computers should know that back in those days, the most popular personal computer was the Apple II.
Yes, back in those days, when i was just a kindergarten kid, i had my first encounter with computers. There were always a few Apple II at home that my dad brought back from the shop. To my brother and i, these computers were just another toy for us to play the games (oh those monochrome green screen!).
Sometimes when i looked back, i would wonder what i would have become today if my dad had not gotten sick, sold the business and passed away. The path of my life would have been so different. But then, there is never a 'would-have-been' in our life.
Anyway, in remembrance of Steve Jobs, i am going to post up the screenshots from the Apple homepage here.
Some people may not like him and may have different opinion of him, but to people who are in the technology field, he was undoubtedly one of the greatest geniuses in our era.
How do you know if a person is truly great and has made history? Well, if even the strongest competitor pays tribute and mourns his passing, then there is no doubt about his eminence in his field and to the world.
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 10:08 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
i had my first encounter with computer in 1992 but it was not Apple, and i never own any Apple product. nevertheless, Steve Jobs no doubt is one great technology pioneer who indeed changed the world that would not be in this pace without him. talking about how windows OS copied mac gui. even his quote is motivational, straight forward and just how he remarked on his rivals. sigh, there's so much yet to be unleashed, and yet with this passing .... it's a sad, sad day for today.
oh, you misspelled his name on your FB .... anyway, you are an IT girl today. , at 7/10/11 4:56 am
Yes, and so i realised that i kept spelling his name wrongly, without the 's'. Oops, what a disrespect!
PinPin 彬彬, at 7/10/11 6:05 am
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Upbringing
Hope this is gonna be my last post about that horrible tenant.
Last night, i heard of something even more outrageous.
When the landlady's mother was complaining about this girl to her daughter-in-law (i.e. the girl's cousin), we were told that this girl actually had refused to pay for the SGD200 rental when the cousin asked for it. The girl said it was her cousin who INVITED her to come and stay, not as if she came to stay on her own accord, so why she should pay for rental!
This girl is really an inconsiderate spoilt brat. My landlady is a single mother who works very hard to support the family and with an ex-husband who always defaults on the alimony. This girl actually has the audicity to live off people and feel that there is nothing wrong in staying and eating for free off someone who is technically not related to her at all!
I really feel like slapping the parents - yes, the parents, for not knowing how to bring up a decent human being. Seriously, i always believed that upbringing plays a big part in our life; it is often what moulded us into who and what we are today. A lot of personal values are instilled into us, sometimes subconsciously, since we were young through how our parents brought us up and the behaviours of the people around us.
It is a given fact that the world is filled with polluted minds now, and the media plays a big part in it. We also know that peers affect us a lot too, especially during our childhood and schooldays. The thing is that given all the potential negative influences around us now, the parents have an even bigger responsibility to ensure they take good care of their kids, not only in terms of material aspect but also on cultivating the right mind and good values since young, so that we grow up knowing how to discern good and bad, right and wrong.
I know it is easier said than done. I never said it is easy to bring up kids. It is especially more difficult now when most parents are working and leave the kids to the maid or grandparents. The parents put their focus on providing a comfortable and sometimes even luxurious environment and material life for their children, and place second priority on building the character and good values in the kids. Of course, we also see a lot of parents now who simply pamper their children to no end and yet they do not see it, until they have produced all the spoilt brats that fill up the young generation nowadays.
I can rant about this for the rest of the night, as most of my friends would know i hold strong opinion about today's young generation. I think i've actually expressed my views about this many times before when i talked about why i do not want to have any children. My point is actually very simple - if you are not gonna bring up the kids properly, then don't have any at all. Otherwise, you are only doing harm to the society.
Having a kid is not about bringing a life into this world to extend your own family name or gene pool. It is not about fulfilling certain responsibility as a son or daughter. It is also not about going through the cycle of life matter-of-factly. It is especially not about reproducing for our species.
It is a human life that you are going to shape, and this life is eventually gonna come in contact with other lives and inadvertently affects the lives of others. It is a chain effect that has wider implication than simply giving birth to a cute baby who has your nose or your spouse's eyes or whatnot. The failure in properly bring up this life may mean that other lives will be ruined in the future.
Anyway, how did i even get to this topic... i was talking about that selfish girl. Well, i know it's not right for me to think this way, but somehow in my heart i was wishing that she would get a hard lesson in life one day, so hard that it will not only make her change but also remind her of all her past misbehaviours and she will be sorry and repent.
Last night, i heard of something even more outrageous.
When the landlady's mother was complaining about this girl to her daughter-in-law (i.e. the girl's cousin), we were told that this girl actually had refused to pay for the SGD200 rental when the cousin asked for it. The girl said it was her cousin who INVITED her to come and stay, not as if she came to stay on her own accord, so why she should pay for rental!
This girl is really an inconsiderate spoilt brat. My landlady is a single mother who works very hard to support the family and with an ex-husband who always defaults on the alimony. This girl actually has the audicity to live off people and feel that there is nothing wrong in staying and eating for free off someone who is technically not related to her at all!
I really feel like slapping the parents - yes, the parents, for not knowing how to bring up a decent human being. Seriously, i always believed that upbringing plays a big part in our life; it is often what moulded us into who and what we are today. A lot of personal values are instilled into us, sometimes subconsciously, since we were young through how our parents brought us up and the behaviours of the people around us.
It is a given fact that the world is filled with polluted minds now, and the media plays a big part in it. We also know that peers affect us a lot too, especially during our childhood and schooldays. The thing is that given all the potential negative influences around us now, the parents have an even bigger responsibility to ensure they take good care of their kids, not only in terms of material aspect but also on cultivating the right mind and good values since young, so that we grow up knowing how to discern good and bad, right and wrong.
I know it is easier said than done. I never said it is easy to bring up kids. It is especially more difficult now when most parents are working and leave the kids to the maid or grandparents. The parents put their focus on providing a comfortable and sometimes even luxurious environment and material life for their children, and place second priority on building the character and good values in the kids. Of course, we also see a lot of parents now who simply pamper their children to no end and yet they do not see it, until they have produced all the spoilt brats that fill up the young generation nowadays.
I can rant about this for the rest of the night, as most of my friends would know i hold strong opinion about today's young generation. I think i've actually expressed my views about this many times before when i talked about why i do not want to have any children. My point is actually very simple - if you are not gonna bring up the kids properly, then don't have any at all. Otherwise, you are only doing harm to the society.
Having a kid is not about bringing a life into this world to extend your own family name or gene pool. It is not about fulfilling certain responsibility as a son or daughter. It is also not about going through the cycle of life matter-of-factly. It is especially not about reproducing for our species.
It is a human life that you are going to shape, and this life is eventually gonna come in contact with other lives and inadvertently affects the lives of others. It is a chain effect that has wider implication than simply giving birth to a cute baby who has your nose or your spouse's eyes or whatnot. The failure in properly bring up this life may mean that other lives will be ruined in the future.
Anyway, how did i even get to this topic... i was talking about that selfish girl. Well, i know it's not right for me to think this way, but somehow in my heart i was wishing that she would get a hard lesson in life one day, so hard that it will not only make her change but also remind her of all her past misbehaviours and she will be sorry and repent.
| Cogitated @ 3:52 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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gee, bad blood was spilt, of course the tenant not gonna pay for the rental, and the wireless repair fee too with some cooked up excuse or reason. sigh, don't think it could be collected from the tenant anymore, and it sure puts the cousin in awkward situation. what is the landlady's brother doing? can't he stand up against this rubbish and demand the payment from the girl or her mother? can't he be a man to stop letting a mere 20 y.o cousin girl to bully his sister and his wife? sometimes it just gotta stand up for what is right even it will result confrontation. i guess the landlady would use the tenant as model example for her girls not to be like her when grow up, 有眼睛看了。
even family background is a factor, as you mentioned before mixing with right company could shape to better character too, like pinpin :). i agree much parents today pampering their children too much. slapping and rattaning kids are past actions that seem to be barbaric, uneducated and unreasonable. to some, it is deemed effective, others would argue against it, like citing violence begets violence (crap? i donno). whatever it is, mothers made the call what is the best for their children lor ...
oh, the recent bully case in school in malaysia, not sure if you heard about it. i guess watching parents subjected themselves begging for forgiveness would have greater impact on their kids than caning them.
anyway, let bygones be bygones lor, and hopefully you won't come across with such people anymore. hmm, you don't need to be overly agitated until wanting to slap the parent for the failure in upbringing their kids, calm down calm down, it's not nice to talk on slapping parent or beating kids on mother's day somemore ..... cheers, and have nice day , without the horrible tenant around and think about ... :) , at 12/5/11 1:37 am
I'm not sure if the girl will learn her lesson in the future. But, on the immediate note, I hope the cousin as well as the landlady's brother would learn something. Is this what he claim, "Christianity?" What was the intention in the first place of having her to stay with them? Lving without teaching (hard truth=painful experience)was not imparted in this supposedly "teaching" experience to the young girl, then what did the rest learn? Guarding your turf so that you'll not be taken advantage of? Who is going to be responsible for the "lost/damage" the brother or the cousin?
On the same note, I hope your landlady will learn something from this girl as well. For it's going to be a mirror for her (daughters). Is she bringing up spoil brats too? Is this what bible taught us to be? NOpe, for sure. Bible said that we ought to be a responsible parents for children are from God and parents are to gurd(ian) them and teach them and that's love. Simply providing material needs is not love.
God has His purpose for everthing. And I hope everyone learn something out of this "experiential learning" lesson. , at 12/5/11 2:42 pm
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Waiting for the results
I'm now sitting in front of the TV at my uncle's house, together with my aunt. Needless to say, like many other Singaporeans, we are waiting eagerly for the polling results.
This kinda reminds me of year 2008 when we Malaysians waited anxiously for the election results and were ecstatic to know that the people had finally taught the government a hard lesson through our votes.
However, i do not think similar thing will happen in Singapore. In fact, the opposition parties have taken drastic moves in this election and may risk losing the only 2 parliamentary seats (out of 84) they had. If that happens, Singapore parliament will be dominated 100% by the ruling party.
Nevertheless, i am still hoping for a miracle. The ruling party will of course still form the government, but there must be a breakthrough to bring on changes. Yet, it is human nature to be fearful of the unknown and to be resistance to change. It is even more so in Singapore, since the government has been doing a good job in making this small island into a successful and internationally renown country.
What many people fail to recognise sometimes is that what happened in the past is not a guarantee of the future. And i firmly believe in what Lord Acton said, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." This is just human nature - when one has unlimited and unrestrained power, the mind will be corrupted and slowly becomes complacent and arrogance. There is always a need for check and balance, control and governance.
So far, results of a few seats have been announced and the opposition has only won one. (When that one opposition seat was announced, i could hear the roar of victory from afar.)
Whatever it is, Singaporeans will have to live with their own choices for another 5 years. Good or bad, they should not complain about it because they have a hand in making it.
This kinda reminds me of year 2008 when we Malaysians waited anxiously for the election results and were ecstatic to know that the people had finally taught the government a hard lesson through our votes.
However, i do not think similar thing will happen in Singapore. In fact, the opposition parties have taken drastic moves in this election and may risk losing the only 2 parliamentary seats (out of 84) they had. If that happens, Singapore parliament will be dominated 100% by the ruling party.
Nevertheless, i am still hoping for a miracle. The ruling party will of course still form the government, but there must be a breakthrough to bring on changes. Yet, it is human nature to be fearful of the unknown and to be resistance to change. It is even more so in Singapore, since the government has been doing a good job in making this small island into a successful and internationally renown country.
What many people fail to recognise sometimes is that what happened in the past is not a guarantee of the future. And i firmly believe in what Lord Acton said, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." This is just human nature - when one has unlimited and unrestrained power, the mind will be corrupted and slowly becomes complacent and arrogance. There is always a need for check and balance, control and governance.
So far, results of a few seats have been announced and the opposition has only won one. (When that one opposition seat was announced, i could hear the roar of victory from afar.)
Whatever it is, Singaporeans will have to live with their own choices for another 5 years. Good or bad, they should not complain about it because they have a hand in making it.
| Cogitated @ 5:09 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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it's like underdog fight, or david vs goliath like that. unlike malaysia where the results are always disputed with postal votes, vote buying, don't think this is happening in singapore though. but judging from the cyberspace as well as kopitiam rants, gee, the actual result is always contrasting one. hmm ....
it's interesting to know who emerges as winner for aljunied and marina parade since these 2 constituencies so far are the most talked about, and the former is the fight of the bigwigs.... oh, i never know about there's this cooling off day. cheers. , at 8/5/11 5:51 am
Sunday, May 01, 2011
A few things I noted about the royal wedding
As i did not get to watch the live telecast of the royal wedding yesterday, i actually spent hours reading the news and watching the video clips of the wedding on the Web. Here are some of the things i noted about the royal wedding:
The media frenzy over this wedding of the century will not be over anytime soon. The Web is flooded with photos, write-ups and video clips of the wedding. I bet people will still follow closely on them, wanting to find out more about their life after marriage.
Seriously, why are we (and i) spending so much time on the affairs of two persons whom we do not know and will never come to know in life? Enough already, i told myself.
- The bride was absolutely stunning, even though i still think she looked older for her age. The groom actually still has a very young look and child-like smile. It is actually his balding head that makes him look older.
- Both the dresses the bride wore for the wedding ceremony and evening reception were simple yet elegant. However, i was quite distracted by her protruding nipples. No no, i am not trying to be disrespectful or making fun of her. It's just that i didn't like the "pointed" look on the dresses. (As the whole world will be looking at her as a fashion icon, i wonder if this is gonna start a new wave of bra-less look in fashion.)
- A lot of people commented that the maid-of-honour, i.e. the bride's sister, looked beautiful and stole the limelight from the bride. I beg to differ; i do not think the sister is better looking actually. I also feel that she looked older.
- They waved in the car; they waved on the carriage; they waved on their way in and out of buildings; they waved on the balcony... actually what is it about this waving thing? Seriously, does any of the spectators actually think that they were waving specifically at them?
- The little bridesmaid who frowned and covered her ears on the balcony was just too cute. I found the scene very amusing, especially now that all the photos of the balcony (especially the ones with them kissing) have this little girl sulking at such happy occasion.
- I didn't really realise until seeing the wedding that hats are part of the important attire for formal events in UK. Many people have commented negatively about the PM's wife's bare head. I've seen the Brits wearing hats in many important functions, but i didn't realise that this is almost like an unwritten rule. Oh, and the showcase of hats from the wedding photos really amused me, especially those of the two princesses. They looked ridiculous.
The media frenzy over this wedding of the century will not be over anytime soon. The Web is flooded with photos, write-ups and video clips of the wedding. I bet people will still follow closely on them, wanting to find out more about their life after marriage.
Seriously, why are we (and i) spending so much time on the affairs of two persons whom we do not know and will never come to know in life? Enough already, i told myself.
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 5:19 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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i thought pinpin likes to 八卦 one, even look for it in youtube until late night, how can you say enough already when there's free flow of the news, haha. oh, i get to know the unwritten rule about hats in UK, thanks to your blog :)
braless fashion trend, hmm, really cannot digest this ler ..... , at 1/5/11 8:08 pm
you are really observative yoh! I din realise about her braless wear until you mentioned about it :p
But I'm still wondering, is it??? , at 6/5/11 5:29 am
Friday, April 29, 2011
The fairy tale wedding
Finally, today is the day where months of fuzz and buzz led up to - the royal wedding.
I guess this wedding of the century is gonna surpass that of the last century (the one of the groom's parents). After all, the last fairy-tale like marriage ended up in ugly scandals and tragedy. Everyone will be looking at this marriage to make it come true. People around the world need to believe that fairy tales do exist in real life.
It just kinda makes one wonders what's really the big deal about the wedding. Stripped away the royal titles, they are simply two good-looking people getting married, just like any other thousands of marrying couples around the world.
Well, i guess it is precisely because it is the royalty that makes people so fascinated by it. Besides the big money splurged on it, the groom being the son of late Princess Diana also places the limelight on this marriage. We do not see the same media frenzy over the wedding of other royalties in other countries.
The wedding will be broadcasted worldwide in a few minutes. It will be 3pm our time. We all will be stuck at work and cannot share this moment, but i won't be surprised if some companies would actually gather around to watch the live telecast.
Hope they will live a blissful life. I also need to see fairy tales in real life too, desperately.
I guess this wedding of the century is gonna surpass that of the last century (the one of the groom's parents). After all, the last fairy-tale like marriage ended up in ugly scandals and tragedy. Everyone will be looking at this marriage to make it come true. People around the world need to believe that fairy tales do exist in real life.
It just kinda makes one wonders what's really the big deal about the wedding. Stripped away the royal titles, they are simply two good-looking people getting married, just like any other thousands of marrying couples around the world.
Well, i guess it is precisely because it is the royalty that makes people so fascinated by it. Besides the big money splurged on it, the groom being the son of late Princess Diana also places the limelight on this marriage. We do not see the same media frenzy over the wedding of other royalties in other countries.
The wedding will be broadcasted worldwide in a few minutes. It will be 3pm our time. We all will be stuck at work and cannot share this moment, but i won't be surprised if some companies would actually gather around to watch the live telecast.
Hope they will live a blissful life. I also need to see fairy tales in real life too, desperately.
| Cogitated @ 6:57 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
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gee, and i was so paiseh thinking the wedding was happened last week, thanks to your blog until ntv7 kept advertising the broadcast.... luckily i didn't bring up the story to my colleagues though.
oh, i thought it started at 5 KL/SG time, so you still can catch it if you leave the office early rather than stay OT lor. but, to link it as real life fairy tale is not entirely accurate, since the tale is filtered by the media first before it reaches you leh. surely you don't need to take example from far-far land when there are still beautiful fairy tales from among your close friends/colleagues/team. of course, you gotta continue staying positive and happiness will find you, never give up on you lor :).
yup, total agree they are handsome and beautiful couple indeed. cheers :) , at 30/4/11 3:43 am
look atthe time you blog!? Shouldn't you be working? hehehehe...I tried getting into the net to search for live broadcast at 3pm too, but nothing much then. I'm more curious to seet he wedding dress than anything else. But, am quite disappointed for there's nothing new! It's a "safe" design, once again, it's in-line with Kate's "sytle" for the moment! , at 2/5/11 7:07 pm
LF, you know i've always liked simple style, and hence i actually think the wedding dress is elegant and befits the royal occassion. It looks beautiful on Kate.
The wedding dress resembles a lot of Grace Kelly's wedding gown for her marriage to the prince of Monaco. After all, Grace Kelly was chosen as the #1 most beautiful royals, so Kate became the "copy cat" huh... :P PinPin 彬彬, at 3/5/11 3:13 am
"copy cat" is not really accurate as there are some changes here and there. plus, the Kelly's gown was so many decades ago, many still would compare it to Princess D instead. IMO to engage famous designer to come out simple style doesn't seem quite appropriate leh... cheers :). , at 3/5/11 6:10 am
Friday, April 22, 2011
1Malaysia email
I guess one of the hottest news now (after the Sarawak election) is the recently-announced
Naturally, i would not miss such fun. Besides supporting the petition page against this pointless and dubious project, i also voted (with comment) on a survey conducted on Facebook about my opinion on this idea.
Then the survey led me to the page that posted this question (i am not sure if this is really the official site set up by the company chosen by the government to run this project).
I of course then took the chance to say my piece on this page, just like many other fellow citizens.
Oh, and by the way, for those who think that this idea is the same as the OneInbox initiative from IDA Singapore, it is not. Do note that Singapore government is more like adding an inbox to the already existed single platform of SingPass, whereas the one suggested by our government so far seemed to suggest that it is an email service just like gmail, hotmail, etc.
Furthermore, such concept of "single point of contact for all government correspondences" will only be beneficial in countries with high Internet penetration rate and coverage, such as Singapore. The initiative will also only work when it goes in tandem with other effort, such as how Singapore government put in place projects to develop the infrastructure as well as educating the citizens (even the elderly) to be IT literate. It will simply be a waste of time, money and resources when it is implemented in a country where the government does not even put in proper plan to improve the overall national IT infrastructure or is more than happy to keep a low education standard for the citizens so that they can have credulous citizens who will continue to vote for them blindly.
Naturally, i would not miss such fun. Besides supporting the petition page against this pointless and dubious project, i also voted (with comment) on a survey conducted on Facebook about my opinion on this idea.
Then the survey led me to the page that posted this question (i am not sure if this is really the official site set up by the company chosen by the government to run this project).
I of course then took the chance to say my piece on this page, just like many other fellow citizens.
Oh, and by the way, for those who think that this idea is the same as the OneInbox initiative from IDA Singapore, it is not. Do note that Singapore government is more like adding an inbox to the already existed single platform of SingPass, whereas the one suggested by our government so far seemed to suggest that it is an email service just like gmail, hotmail, etc.
Furthermore, such concept of "single point of contact for all government correspondences" will only be beneficial in countries with high Internet penetration rate and coverage, such as Singapore. The initiative will also only work when it goes in tandem with other effort, such as how Singapore government put in place projects to develop the infrastructure as well as educating the citizens (even the elderly) to be IT literate. It will simply be a waste of time, money and resources when it is implemented in a country where the government does not even put in proper plan to improve the overall national IT infrastructure or is more than happy to keep a low education standard for the citizens so that they can have credulous citizens who will continue to vote for them blindly.
| Cogitated @ 7:34 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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gee, can't find the 'like' button in this blog, haha... you just sacrificed yourself to be exposed as gov non-supporter lor .....by the way, your opinion of giving free WiFi is already shared by the penang CM, no no, you don't need to swear that you did not copy from him ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mcmco_2sY8&feature=player_embedded
as for the email account, it's just like any other scam and no point of arguing it at all. if the government really does have people in mind and being initiative, there is so much can be done, especially when there are many examples (like singapore) they can follow and further improve it. wonder why they don't announce it prior the election?
oh, how dare you expose the government grand strategy to keep rakyat continue being illiterate and ruin the fixed deposit! treachery! but still, i like your blog :) and hey, don't spoil your holiday by sleep and wake up late. darn, it's belated message. cheers. , at 23/4/11 3:32 am
Seriously, believe it or not, i did not get my idea from Mr. Lim. The thoughts came from taking Singapore as example. PinPin 彬彬, at 25/4/11 4:10 am
Monday, September 06, 2010
Prince charming
Was watching a video clip posted on the FB by a friend, and then one clip led to another, i ended up checking the bio of superstar Wang Leehom.
Well, all i can say is that he is indeed a perfect man - handsome, talented, great personality, intelligent, impressive family background and highly educated.
Alright, alright, i know this is his image and reputation as a celebrity. We will not really know whether he is indeed so in real person.
I would be very interested to see what kind of girl he will marry. She gotta to be equally perfect, or at least in terms of musical talent, to be the perfect match for him. After all, prince charming gotta marry a princess and live happily ever after, just so that we can still believe that fairy tales do exist in real life.
(Ok, in case you are wondering, i do NOT idolise him. I do like him for his looks and talent, and that goes without saying - which lady would not like such an eye candy. But i've already past the age of dreaming for a prince charming, and way too weary about the thing called love and the creature called man.)
Well, all i can say is that he is indeed a perfect man - handsome, talented, great personality, intelligent, impressive family background and highly educated.
Alright, alright, i know this is his image and reputation as a celebrity. We will not really know whether he is indeed so in real person.
I would be very interested to see what kind of girl he will marry. She gotta to be equally perfect, or at least in terms of musical talent, to be the perfect match for him. After all, prince charming gotta marry a princess and live happily ever after, just so that we can still believe that fairy tales do exist in real life.
(Ok, in case you are wondering, i do NOT idolise him. I do like him for his looks and talent, and that goes without saying - which lady would not like such an eye candy. But i've already past the age of dreaming for a prince charming, and way too weary about the thing called love and the creature called man.)
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 3:53 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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haha, i came across a blogger who swooned over daniel wu. too bad he is married already... you take care of yourself, stay healthy and pretty (so rid the panda eyes). oops, missed the last line - but then you don't need love as reason to be pretty lor :o , at 6/9/10 4:51 am
I also wonder.
But so far, the "princess" (rumour) is a bit dissapointed oh! , at 6/9/10 3:15 pm
Well, Daniel Wu is a hunk too, but i found him too "mascular" and "sexy".
Indeed, Leehom has had quite a number of rumoured girlfriends, and all were quite disappointing in a way - all not up to the "princess" criteria that could match with this prince. Many said the latest rumoured one does match him (they said 郎才女貌）, but i do not really think so. I'm probably bias anyway - first of all, i've never thought of that girl as pretty at all (even when she played the role of 小龙女, i also feel it's so-so only). And secondly, she's China woman. I hope he will be with someone NOT from China, but looking at the trend in the entertainment scene now, i would not be surprised if he eventually ends up with one... PinPin 彬彬, at 6/9/10 8:34 pm
oh my oh my, your "standard" is really very high to par with the prince. recently the prince made his directorial debut on a movie which quite resembles his life, and fall in love with a special girl .... oh wait, ok now i know .....
there's nothing to jealous-lor about the princess whoever it will be. he's a superstar, we're nobody, wait, correction here - at least you are a blogger, and i'm nobody of nobody, an ant .... entertainment industry is very complicated one, celebrity life is scrutinized and gossiped. it's very hard to live happily like that lor, even shrek claimed to be live happily ever after, but there's still #2, #3 (aiyaya, what am i bubbling here).... if the prince announced retirement for the sake of love, i'm sure gonna miss his talent, and his celcom ads.... , at 6/9/10 10:23 pm
Jealous? Haha, no lah. As i said, i'm not little girl who dream of such prince charming... and he isn't my idol either (i do not actually follow his news or listen to his songs. I only googled for his news yesterday after watching the MV of his new movie). I was actually merely gossiping. ;)
I'd hope to see the princess to be someone with amazing musical talent too. And when i said that i do not consider the newly rumoured pricess as pretty, i've already thought so before this rumour (when i watched her as 小龙女 in the drama series). Probably i have strange taste, as i know the whole world thinks that she is beautiful.
Anyway, who he will be with in the end is really none of my business; not as if i know him or what... And i do have a little suspicion of whether or not he is indeed THAT perfect in real life. It may just be an image his company has built up for him. PinPin 彬彬, at 6/9/10 10:47 pm
oh ... my bad.... actually i don't listen much of his songs either, to think think of it, i can't even name the songs he sang except the new one that played with traditional instruments. but then i must salute him, he's one of the singer/artiste (maybe the only one i know, haha) with perfect SAT score. don't play play :) , at 7/9/10 4:16 am
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sad news from Philippines
I'm very sure lots of bloggers are writing or have already written about the tragic new from Philippines. I am gonna do my share as well.
So i saw a few video clips of the tragic event and was totally appalled by how the entire situation was handled, especially on the part when the SWAT team was trying to... erm... seriously, i do not know what they were doing at all. The thing is that from the look of it, they appeared to be clueless as well!
Everything just seems so wrong. I would wanna say the SWAT team looked like a joke, but then this is no laughing matter, and there's nothing funny at all when lives were lost. Indeed, life is unpredictable and no one could have known that the tourists would be held hostages just the day before they were gonna return home. Yet, what we have here is a situation that would not have happened if it wasn't for the mishandling of the situation. Here's an article on BBC News with expert pointing out what the SWAT team did wrongly that resulted in such tragedy.
But then again, there is no what-if in life and what happened had already happened. All i want to say now is that my heart goes out to the families of the victims. May God grants all the lost souls eternal rest of peace.
As a side note, big boss called me this afternoon and told me that we are facing a minor situation in our Philippines office that may require people to go over there. I then asked him who would wanna go there now after the piece of headline news on the killed hostages. I reminded him that the families of our staff would definitely be worried and unwilling for them to travel to Philippines now. For instance, i told him, i'm very sure my mom would oppose to it if i were to go there. Yet, boss said if the work really requires so, then sometimes we have no choice.
I seriously did not agree with such assertion, but then i kept quiet about it. No point in saying anything more since it was not confirmed yet. Let's see how it goes in the end.
So i saw a few video clips of the tragic event and was totally appalled by how the entire situation was handled, especially on the part when the SWAT team was trying to... erm... seriously, i do not know what they were doing at all. The thing is that from the look of it, they appeared to be clueless as well!
Everything just seems so wrong. I would wanna say the SWAT team looked like a joke, but then this is no laughing matter, and there's nothing funny at all when lives were lost. Indeed, life is unpredictable and no one could have known that the tourists would be held hostages just the day before they were gonna return home. Yet, what we have here is a situation that would not have happened if it wasn't for the mishandling of the situation. Here's an article on BBC News with expert pointing out what the SWAT team did wrongly that resulted in such tragedy.
But then again, there is no what-if in life and what happened had already happened. All i want to say now is that my heart goes out to the families of the victims. May God grants all the lost souls eternal rest of peace.
As a side note, big boss called me this afternoon and told me that we are facing a minor situation in our Philippines office that may require people to go over there. I then asked him who would wanna go there now after the piece of headline news on the killed hostages. I reminded him that the families of our staff would definitely be worried and unwilling for them to travel to Philippines now. For instance, i told him, i'm very sure my mom would oppose to it if i were to go there. Yet, boss said if the work really requires so, then sometimes we have no choice.
I seriously did not agree with such assertion, but then i kept quiet about it. No point in saying anything more since it was not confirmed yet. Let's see how it goes in the end.
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 4:46 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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my condolence to who lost their love ones in this unfortunate tragedy. sad news. reminds me of mumbai attack not very long ago where it involved an unfortunate singaporean when she's at the wrong place and wrong time. it's undeniable that incompetence exists in security force everywhere whether it's in Munich (1972), Beslan (2004), Mumbai (2008), and shootings at schools in US/Finland. even if it's at home be it kl, jb, sg, thailand, aussie, US, if tragedy strikes there's nothing much we lesser people can do but to be at mercy from Providence.
not to sound political prejudice, indonesia currently is "unsafe" for malaysians to travel. blunders were condemned, nation was humiliated, i guess the philippines security force will reflect and beef up their responsibility for this period of time. let's just hope everything turns out to be fine and it's unnecessary for you and your colleagues to travel there. , at 25/8/10 1:42 pm
by the way, the network technology is so advance that i wonder if we really need to be physically on site when we can do vpn/remote access and teleconference. is it possible to have workaround on this? just to provide a suggestion to people who adverse of travelling..... , at 25/8/10 1:56 pm
it's always very difficult to avoid this kind of dilemma when always need to travel.
Not only man-made disaster,there are also natural disaster, and also disease & etc which is unpredictable.
Just hope your company can really consider seriusly is it really MUST let the employees bear this kind of risk. Let's pray. , at 26/8/10 5:43 am
Thursday, January 14, 2010
To the idiots
So from my earlier post until now, the total count of churches being attacked had increased to eight. Then there was news on stones thrown at a Sikh temple, which the authority claimed that it wasn't related to the church incident, but given their credibility (or the lack thereof), i'd say there's still a chance that it is related. We can't tell for sure unless the REAL perpetrators are caught -- and i emphasize on the word REAL because, again, given their track record, we can never be sure if they have found the real culprits or a scapegoat.
Anyway, out of the eight churches, only one was badly damaged. My church is actually affiliated to that church (AOG), and during the last Sunday service, our pastor told us that this was actually a blessing in disguise. That church had wanted to move to a newly built church but they couldn't get the required permit from the authority. Now that this was such high profile case, not only did the government promise a grant to the church, they would also settle the permit issue too. Praise the Lord.
As for the fiasco that doesn't seem to be ending so soon yet, i just have a few points to make to those idiots (not only to the perpetrators, but also to those who share the same opinion that the word is reserved for your religion only -- yes, that includes our idiotic government):
I'm sure i have more to say if this drama continues on and on and on. But i really ought to go to bed now.
Anyway, out of the eight churches, only one was badly damaged. My church is actually affiliated to that church (AOG), and during the last Sunday service, our pastor told us that this was actually a blessing in disguise. That church had wanted to move to a newly built church but they couldn't get the required permit from the authority. Now that this was such high profile case, not only did the government promise a grant to the church, they would also settle the permit issue too. Praise the Lord.
As for the fiasco that doesn't seem to be ending so soon yet, i just have a few points to make to those idiots (not only to the perpetrators, but also to those who share the same opinion that the word is reserved for your religion only -- yes, that includes our idiotic government):
- I believe that your religion, just like all other decent religions, preaches peace, respect, love and kindness. I've never read your holy book before, but i believe there is no where in the book that ever mention whoever uses the name should be stoned, burnt, bombed and killed. If your religion also has the notion of hell, then you are very much heading to it.
- If that is indeed a NAME for only THAT SPECIFIC GOD, then when the other religion is singing praises to that name, then they are also worshipping your God. Then you should be glad and not acting as if only you have the rights to call His name. After all, you do not OWN God. No one does.
- The reason given about calling the Christian God the same name will confuse and even convert your people to Christianity, i tell you, this is the lamest excuse i've ever heard. Yes, in case you do not get it, i'm telling you again, it is
Are you telling me that people from your religion will convert to Christianity simply because they share the same word to call the name of God? Do you see the people of your religion as a bunch of idiots like you? Are you telling me that if i were to go to Chinese temple and start calling the Buddha Jesus, and all the Christians will start believing the statue of Buddha is indeed Jesus and they will all convert to Buddhism too? Now seriously, can you please grow a brain? - It is equally lame to tell us that Malaysia has different culture and demography and hence we cannot use other Muslim countries that do not ban the use of that word as justifications. Erm, hello, so you are basically telling me that this is not something forbidden by your religion but by YOU. Who are you to decide and dictate that that word is reserved for your use only? Are you God? Has He spoken to you and told you to do so?
- I think our neighbour, who happens to be most populous Islamic nation in the world and have absolutely no issue with Christians using that word too, would all be scratching their heads and couldn't figure out what this hoo-ha is all about. After all, all religions have one similar doctrine, as shown in this picture of a church in Indonesia sent to me by a friend:
Yes, GOD IS LOVE, no matter whose God you are talking about. And as far as i concerned, there is only ONE GOD, no matter what name you called Him.
I'm sure i have more to say if this drama continues on and on and on. But i really ought to go to bed now.
| Cogitated @ 6:46 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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thumb up , at 20/1/10 5:51 am
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Idiocy
Four churches so far, and i hope there will not be another one.
I can imagine much must have been blogged about the horrendous arson/bombing targeted at the churches in Malaysia. I have a few words about it too.
I can never ever understand why would anyone resort to violence and terrorism acts when they disagree with certain issue. There are more serious issues in the country such as corruption and discrimination, but we never see them expressing their strong disagreement till this extent. These people are called fanatics and extremists for a reason, and i can see clearly why.
A word is a word. Unless you are saying that it was being ridiculed, then perhaps i could understand the fury. But then, it is used in the context of being praised and worshipped, same as when you are using it. So really, what is the hoo-ha all about?
Furthermore, it has been used for centuries even in the Middle East countries, which is where their religion was originated. And just because you are not happy with people using a word that you think should be reserved solely for your use only, you gotta go out committing all these violent acts?!
Seriously, what message are you trying to convey to the world? Can you blame people if the whole world starts to stereotype against your religion? You have the hand in perpetuating the stereotype; in fact, you helped to confirmed it!
All i can say is that this is idiocy to the extreme!
And because i am a citizen of this country, it makes my life difficult when i gotta travel so much on my job. It is especially frustrating when people look at me as "the citizen of the country that produces religious extremists and terrorists".
I'll wait and see what show the police and government is gonna put up further for this. I wouldn't be surprised if rather than catching the perpetrators, they would make use the ISA again to detain certain innocent people, claiming them as the cause of this unrest. It isn't as if they have not done it before.
Anyway, here's a prayer that we received from the senior pastor of our church:
Yes, let's pray for a peaceful ending to this fiasco.
I can imagine much must have been blogged about the horrendous arson/bombing targeted at the churches in Malaysia. I have a few words about it too.
I can never ever understand why would anyone resort to violence and terrorism acts when they disagree with certain issue. There are more serious issues in the country such as corruption and discrimination, but we never see them expressing their strong disagreement till this extent. These people are called fanatics and extremists for a reason, and i can see clearly why.
A word is a word. Unless you are saying that it was being ridiculed, then perhaps i could understand the fury. But then, it is used in the context of being praised and worshipped, same as when you are using it. So really, what is the hoo-ha all about?
Furthermore, it has been used for centuries even in the Middle East countries, which is where their religion was originated. And just because you are not happy with people using a word that you think should be reserved solely for your use only, you gotta go out committing all these violent acts?!
Seriously, what message are you trying to convey to the world? Can you blame people if the whole world starts to stereotype against your religion? You have the hand in perpetuating the stereotype; in fact, you helped to confirmed it!
All i can say is that this is idiocy to the extreme!
And because i am a citizen of this country, it makes my life difficult when i gotta travel so much on my job. It is especially frustrating when people look at me as "the citizen of the country that produces religious extremists and terrorists".
I'll wait and see what show the police and government is gonna put up further for this. I wouldn't be surprised if rather than catching the perpetrators, they would make use the ISA again to detain certain innocent people, claiming them as the cause of this unrest. It isn't as if they have not done it before.
Anyway, here's a prayer that we received from the senior pastor of our church:
Pray for the Malaysian Church. But boldly pray with faith in God, not with fear of men. History has proven that the church is an anvil that has worn out many hammers. God Bless!
Yes, let's pray for a peaceful ending to this fiasco.
| Cogitated @ 7:30 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
Don't complain, speak up
During the complain session last night with the secretary, i told her that i intend to voice out my opinion tomorrow during the Christmas lunch. She then told me that she doesn't see any point in doing that, since it won't make any difference anyway. She said she has given up hope and would not bother to voice out anything anymore.
Well, sometimes i think excessive complaining among colleagues is actually toxic to the organisation. The more bad things we tell each other, the more we feel resentful towards the company. It's a collective sentiment that can build up very quickly.
I sometimes also wonder if i have become the toxic too, for i have seen things that are not right, unfair and unrighteous, and felt mad about it. The usual reaction would be to tell someone about it, just to get it out of the chest. I used to pour all my troubles at work out to 贝, but now i have no one to tell anymore. So naturally i'd talk to my colleagues, but that can actually make me become the whiny employee who are detrimental to the staff's morale. I don't like that at all, to be a poison in the organisation. Hence i think that rather than to whine about it among ourselves, let's just bring it up openly.
Do i think that there will be any changes after that? No.
Do i think it makes any difference to the management or the company? No.
But do i think it makes any difference AT ALL? Yes, it does. It makes a difference to me.
Uh huh, despite knowing that i may land myself into trouble by speaking up, despite knowing that nothing will change even if we speak up, despite knowing that i may probably be the only one who will even say anything and be seen as a trouble maker... yes, despite all that, i will still do it.
You see, the thing is that it makes a difference to whether or not that i think i've done what i should to be answerable to myself and to God.
It's similar to why people would hold rally for a cause. You seriously think that the demonstration changes things? It doesn't most of the time, yet we still do it.
It's similar that when someone tells me the corruption will not stop just because of me not bribing the police in Malaysia if caught speeding. Yes, me alone not doing it will not change thing, but then does it mean that we should then just proceed to bribe them (if you can't beat them then you join them)?
It's similar to even though knowing that we will all die one day, we still want to live our life the best we can. We would never say that since whatever we do will not stop us from dying one day, so we might as well don't live or don't do anything at all?
I do not know how to express my thoughts on why i wanna do this, or the reason behind it. All i know is that we gotta do what we feel is right and just in life, even if we gotta put ourselves on the line for it.
Well, sometimes i think excessive complaining among colleagues is actually toxic to the organisation. The more bad things we tell each other, the more we feel resentful towards the company. It's a collective sentiment that can build up very quickly.
I sometimes also wonder if i have become the toxic too, for i have seen things that are not right, unfair and unrighteous, and felt mad about it. The usual reaction would be to tell someone about it, just to get it out of the chest. I used to pour all my troubles at work out to 贝, but now i have no one to tell anymore. So naturally i'd talk to my colleagues, but that can actually make me become the whiny employee who are detrimental to the staff's morale. I don't like that at all, to be a poison in the organisation. Hence i think that rather than to whine about it among ourselves, let's just bring it up openly.
Do i think that there will be any changes after that? No.
Do i think it makes any difference to the management or the company? No.
But do i think it makes any difference AT ALL? Yes, it does. It makes a difference to me.
Uh huh, despite knowing that i may land myself into trouble by speaking up, despite knowing that nothing will change even if we speak up, despite knowing that i may probably be the only one who will even say anything and be seen as a trouble maker... yes, despite all that, i will still do it.
You see, the thing is that it makes a difference to whether or not that i think i've done what i should to be answerable to myself and to God.
It's similar to why people would hold rally for a cause. You seriously think that the demonstration changes things? It doesn't most of the time, yet we still do it.
It's similar that when someone tells me the corruption will not stop just because of me not bribing the police in Malaysia if caught speeding. Yes, me alone not doing it will not change thing, but then does it mean that we should then just proceed to bribe them (if you can't beat them then you join them)?
It's similar to even though knowing that we will all die one day, we still want to live our life the best we can. We would never say that since whatever we do will not stop us from dying one day, so we might as well don't live or don't do anything at all?
I do not know how to express my thoughts on why i wanna do this, or the reason behind it. All i know is that we gotta do what we feel is right and just in life, even if we gotta put ourselves on the line for it.
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 5:22 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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I think I am also one of the toxic centres within the company.
I know if I dont change my mind and still spreading the toxic, it will make my life in this company even worse. because ppl surrounding me will be demoralised/ demotivated and their work performance will drop. I will end up got to be doing more work to cover up. Then, my toxic level will be cumulating... then I won't be able to deliver good work and that is the time when I will be asked to get out! , at 18/12/09 9:29 pm
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Suicide
An incident happened a few blocks away from where i stay.
Someone jumped down (or fell down, or being pushed down) from high floor and died. The body is still there, covered with cloth, and the police are still around as well.
It happened a few hours ago. I do not know what really happened. I do not know if the person is male or female, and i'm not sure if the person had committed suicide, or it was an accident or murder.
Come to think about it, if it was a suicide, just when i was in my room working and immersing in my sorrow, that person might be experiencing a more devastating event in his/her life, so much so that he/she decided to end the life.
This reminds me that YY had once told me, in a manner lacking of empathy, that he could never understand why anyone would wanna commit suicide. Recently, he told me otherwise. He said he could finally understand how those people felt at the point of time when they decided to end their lives.
I know how it felt because i have had this kind of feeling before -- the feeling that life has no more meaning, that life is nothing but sufferings, that there appears to be no way out of the agony, that the hurt is too much and too painful that death seems to be the only way to stop it...
That was why i gotta keep myself sober at all times, for i need to have a clear mind to keep myself sane every second. I'd never know when the depression would come attack again and even the slightest slide in my sanity would simply mean that i may be the next person covered with a piece of white cloth.
Do not judge the people who chose to kill themselves. We could never understand the exact feelings until we are put in the very same spot ourselves, to be hurt the same way and to feel what they are feeling.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that they are right. I do not agree with their choice, but i understand... i understand.
May all those troubled souls rest in peace.
Someone jumped down (or fell down, or being pushed down) from high floor and died. The body is still there, covered with cloth, and the police are still around as well.
It happened a few hours ago. I do not know what really happened. I do not know if the person is male or female, and i'm not sure if the person had committed suicide, or it was an accident or murder.
Come to think about it, if it was a suicide, just when i was in my room working and immersing in my sorrow, that person might be experiencing a more devastating event in his/her life, so much so that he/she decided to end the life.
This reminds me that YY had once told me, in a manner lacking of empathy, that he could never understand why anyone would wanna commit suicide. Recently, he told me otherwise. He said he could finally understand how those people felt at the point of time when they decided to end their lives.
I know how it felt because i have had this kind of feeling before -- the feeling that life has no more meaning, that life is nothing but sufferings, that there appears to be no way out of the agony, that the hurt is too much and too painful that death seems to be the only way to stop it...
That was why i gotta keep myself sober at all times, for i need to have a clear mind to keep myself sane every second. I'd never know when the depression would come attack again and even the slightest slide in my sanity would simply mean that i may be the next person covered with a piece of white cloth.
Do not judge the people who chose to kill themselves. We could never understand the exact feelings until we are put in the very same spot ourselves, to be hurt the same way and to feel what they are feeling.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that they are right. I do not agree with their choice, but i understand... i understand.
May all those troubled souls rest in peace.
Labels: introspection, opinion
| Cogitated @ 12:49 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Sunday, August 02, 2009
Yet another one
I read this piece of news on board of my return flight:
(click to enlarge)
Well, i guess we have heard or read this kind of familiar story one time too many, huh?!
Uh huh, this is yet another story about how a stupid man who succumbed to temptations and fell from grace.
Once a well-respected cop, he made the grave mistake of accepting bribes and sexual favours from illegal masseur in exchange of tip-offs on impending raids. Not only that he lost his promising career, he was also jailed and i presume his family would fall apart too.
Yet again, a life is ruined, a marriage is wrecked, and families are broken.
And from the name of the masseur, she must be a China woman, again.
Of course, he only has himself to blame, for not being able to resist the temptation of money and sex. But this piece of news had me thinking again.
As a police sergeant, who apparently had been a good cop all the while, he should have a strong sense of justice and believed in doing good. He was also an experienced cop and should have had encounter with people from all walks of life before.
Yet, this masseur whom he met seemed to change him into a bad guy. I believe his wife must be devastated in knowing that her once "hero" husband was corrupted and committed adultery. She might pretty well be thinking the same thing as i did when i first discovered all of YY's wrongdoings -- "Who is this man? This is NOT my husband; my husband is not like this at all!"
I really gotta give it to these China women. What really is it about them that they could have such spells on men? It seems like men who come in contact with them will sure be totally mesmerised and all the dark sides in them will be let loose. These men will turn into wicked persons, lose all rational thinking, and couldn't seem to be able to stop at all.
And the worse part is that despite all these news, despite knowing that these women are not to be messed with, these men will eventually still be hooked and blinded totally. They will even willingly do the things that they know are wrong, disregarding all morals, ethics, and even laws and religious beliefs.
I really meant it when i said that these women are equivalent to Satan. Really, how else can you describe them? Only Satan will tempt and encourage a person to commit all the wrongs and evils in life; only Satan will want to lead a person from the bright path to the dark side.
Yet, unfortunately, those men do not see it at all. The saddest part is that sometimes they still can't see it even when all have been lost and when everything is too late already.
(click to enlarge)
Well, i guess we have heard or read this kind of familiar story one time too many, huh?!
Uh huh, this is yet another story about how a stupid man who succumbed to temptations and fell from grace.
Once a well-respected cop, he made the grave mistake of accepting bribes and sexual favours from illegal masseur in exchange of tip-offs on impending raids. Not only that he lost his promising career, he was also jailed and i presume his family would fall apart too.
Yet again, a life is ruined, a marriage is wrecked, and families are broken.
And from the name of the masseur, she must be a China woman, again.
Of course, he only has himself to blame, for not being able to resist the temptation of money and sex. But this piece of news had me thinking again.
As a police sergeant, who apparently had been a good cop all the while, he should have a strong sense of justice and believed in doing good. He was also an experienced cop and should have had encounter with people from all walks of life before.
Yet, this masseur whom he met seemed to change him into a bad guy. I believe his wife must be devastated in knowing that her once "hero" husband was corrupted and committed adultery. She might pretty well be thinking the same thing as i did when i first discovered all of YY's wrongdoings -- "Who is this man? This is NOT my husband; my husband is not like this at all!"
I really gotta give it to these China women. What really is it about them that they could have such spells on men? It seems like men who come in contact with them will sure be totally mesmerised and all the dark sides in them will be let loose. These men will turn into wicked persons, lose all rational thinking, and couldn't seem to be able to stop at all.
And the worse part is that despite all these news, despite knowing that these women are not to be messed with, these men will eventually still be hooked and blinded totally. They will even willingly do the things that they know are wrong, disregarding all morals, ethics, and even laws and religious beliefs.
I really meant it when i said that these women are equivalent to Satan. Really, how else can you describe them? Only Satan will tempt and encourage a person to commit all the wrongs and evils in life; only Satan will want to lead a person from the bright path to the dark side.
Yet, unfortunately, those men do not see it at all. The saddest part is that sometimes they still can't see it even when all have been lost and when everything is too late already.
Labels: opinion
| Cogitated @ 6:01 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Sunday, June 28, 2009
Girl's day out with a realisation
Went out with Sui, Min and Ting today.
The girls have all been very kind to be by my side as much as possible, knowing that i really need all the support that i can get now. To me, the greatest fortune in my life is actually to get to know this bunch of friends who will always stand by me no matter what happens. I am grateful for the friendships and love that have been with me for the past 20 years.
I know they wanted to cheer me up and tried to occupy my time so that i won't think too much. I really appreciate that. It's just that i'm still very down, and i was actually feeling sad the whole day. I did my best not to show my sorrow, and suppress my urge of crying. Then when i was back at home and taking the bath, i finally broke down and cried. I just felt miserable.
Anyway, back to the outing today...
We had afternoon tea at this Red Island Cafe, which i totally gave it two thumbs down. The service was lousy, the food was bad, and the coffee sucked. Seriously, this is the first time i went to a cafe that served coffee that still had coffee powder in it.
Then we went to this Thai massage center where i had my first taste of foot massage for an hour, followed by another hour of Thia traditional massage.
Frankly, i didn't really enjoy the massage much. Besides the masseuse who served me being not very good, i was also feeling very disturbed. All these massages, which were supposed to make me relax (and i actually do need the relaxation now), actually reminded me of the affair. I mean, after all, the whole episode all started from YY's f*cking friends brought him to that f*cking massage center that provides exotic massages and met with that China massage woman who totally mesmerized him. My head was filled with the pictures of how that woman provided exotic massage to YY and how he was so hooked on her.
However, i wouldn't stop going for massages just because of this. In fact, i'm gonna look for SPA and body massage package somewhere and sign up for it. After all, massages (i mean the decent type) are good for health. And as i've mentioned before, there are a lot of places and a lot of things that remind me of 贝, of our happy times together, and of that heart-wrenching affair. If i were to avoid everywhere and everything, then where can i run to really? This is my home. Those are the things i do day-in and day-out. If death is not an option, then my life has to go on no matter what. I gotta face it bravely, and that is precisely what i'm gonna do.
I did have a realisation during the massage though. I suddenly understood why YY was trapped so deeply in the TLC of that woman and couldn't escape from his desires for her.
Massage is a very sensual act. It promotes relaxation and sometimes even stimulates sexual desires (especially the exotic massage that those China women are so good at). So imagine having a personal massage lady all for yourself, as your girlfriend/wife. When you are tired, she will know how to help you to relax by giving you a good massage. When you feel aroused, she knows how to please you with all the right sexual moves. When you feel that you need love and comfort, she knows what to say and what to do to let you feel the TLC. These are all the things that i do not know how to do and cannot do.
So, if i were a man, i'd go for those women as well.
Really, let's analyse this scientifically.
Sexuality, gentleness and subservience are the characteristics believed to be intrinsic to women. Such qualities appeal to the instincts of male species. The modern women like us nowadays are highly educated and a lot are more intelligent and capable than the men. In a way, we can say women like us are somewhat masculine, because we do not display those intrinsic characteristics since we gotta compete with the men out there in our career. Mind you, we compete with the men in our job and not serving them, as opposed to the job of those women. We are independent and do not take serving men as the purpose of our lives.
Yet, most men, if not all, want to feel needed. This is the intrinsic chauvinism in men, where they want to feel that they are the provider and the women are there to serve them. That was why there are cases after cases of marriage being broken up by these China women. These women simply appeal to the innate ego of men and make them feel good.
That is also probably why that the men would feel that women like us who appear to be so independent and strong will survive well without them, whereas those type of women need them more than we do. Well, they are sure right about this, that we indeed do not need men for our survival, which is a great irony again.
Why? Well, you see, it's precisely that women like us are capable of taking care of ourselves in life, and so when we fall in love, it is solely for love and nothing else. We do not need the men to feed us, as we are capable of doing it ourselves. So we look for the one and only whom we will truly devote our love to, and want to love and be loved by this chosen one. That is why when the one we thought who is meant to be no longer loves us, we couldn't take it so easily despite being so strong and independent in our career.
Yet, for those women, they need men for their survival (even if not as boyfriend and husband, their income were still depending on men). Mind you again, they need men, any men who can fit the bill in providing for them and treat them well. It doesn't have to be the one and only. As long as a good one comes by, not too bad from what they need, then they will just hold on to it. If that one man happens to leave them, then they just feel sad for a while, then move on to the next one who can fit the bill again. To them, there isn't such thing as one and only; it's just anyone who can fulfill what they need in life.
Just too bad that man is the kind of animal that wants to feel they are needed. They do not realise that a person who needs you doesn't necessarily mean that it's love. It's just that you so happen to be able to provide for the needs, that's all. True love is not about getting the needs fulfilled; it's that even if she does not need you for anything, she still be with you, care for you, love you for who you are, or even for who you are not.
I just wonder if there is really a man in this world who can fully appreciate this fact. Well, even if there is, i doubt i can be so lucky to meet him. My long history of love life has proven over and over again that i'm one unlucky person who will never find the right man who can love me for who i am forever.
The girls have all been very kind to be by my side as much as possible, knowing that i really need all the support that i can get now. To me, the greatest fortune in my life is actually to get to know this bunch of friends who will always stand by me no matter what happens. I am grateful for the friendships and love that have been with me for the past 20 years.
I know they wanted to cheer me up and tried to occupy my time so that i won't think too much. I really appreciate that. It's just that i'm still very down, and i was actually feeling sad the whole day. I did my best not to show my sorrow, and suppress my urge of crying. Then when i was back at home and taking the bath, i finally broke down and cried. I just felt miserable.
Anyway, back to the outing today...
We had afternoon tea at this Red Island Cafe, which i totally gave it two thumbs down. The service was lousy, the food was bad, and the coffee sucked. Seriously, this is the first time i went to a cafe that served coffee that still had coffee powder in it.
Then we went to this Thai massage center where i had my first taste of foot massage for an hour, followed by another hour of Thia traditional massage.
Frankly, i didn't really enjoy the massage much. Besides the masseuse who served me being not very good, i was also feeling very disturbed. All these massages, which were supposed to make me relax (and i actually do need the relaxation now), actually reminded me of the affair. I mean, after all, the whole episode all started from YY's f*cking friends brought him to that f*cking massage center that provides exotic massages and met with that China massage woman who totally mesmerized him. My head was filled with the pictures of how that woman provided exotic massage to YY and how he was so hooked on her.
However, i wouldn't stop going for massages just because of this. In fact, i'm gonna look for SPA and body massage package somewhere and sign up for it. After all, massages (i mean the decent type) are good for health. And as i've mentioned before, there are a lot of places and a lot of things that remind me of 贝, of our happy times together, and of that heart-wrenching affair. If i were to avoid everywhere and everything, then where can i run to really? This is my home. Those are the things i do day-in and day-out. If death is not an option, then my life has to go on no matter what. I gotta face it bravely, and that is precisely what i'm gonna do.
I did have a realisation during the massage though. I suddenly understood why YY was trapped so deeply in the TLC of that woman and couldn't escape from his desires for her.
Massage is a very sensual act. It promotes relaxation and sometimes even stimulates sexual desires (especially the exotic massage that those China women are so good at). So imagine having a personal massage lady all for yourself, as your girlfriend/wife. When you are tired, she will know how to help you to relax by giving you a good massage. When you feel aroused, she knows how to please you with all the right sexual moves. When you feel that you need love and comfort, she knows what to say and what to do to let you feel the TLC. These are all the things that i do not know how to do and cannot do.
So, if i were a man, i'd go for those women as well.
Really, let's analyse this scientifically.
Sexuality, gentleness and subservience are the characteristics believed to be intrinsic to women. Such qualities appeal to the instincts of male species. The modern women like us nowadays are highly educated and a lot are more intelligent and capable than the men. In a way, we can say women like us are somewhat masculine, because we do not display those intrinsic characteristics since we gotta compete with the men out there in our career. Mind you, we compete with the men in our job and not serving them, as opposed to the job of those women. We are independent and do not take serving men as the purpose of our lives.
Yet, most men, if not all, want to feel needed. This is the intrinsic chauvinism in men, where they want to feel that they are the provider and the women are there to serve them. That was why there are cases after cases of marriage being broken up by these China women. These women simply appeal to the innate ego of men and make them feel good.
That is also probably why that the men would feel that women like us who appear to be so independent and strong will survive well without them, whereas those type of women need them more than we do. Well, they are sure right about this, that we indeed do not need men for our survival, which is a great irony again.
Why? Well, you see, it's precisely that women like us are capable of taking care of ourselves in life, and so when we fall in love, it is solely for love and nothing else. We do not need the men to feed us, as we are capable of doing it ourselves. So we look for the one and only whom we will truly devote our love to, and want to love and be loved by this chosen one. That is why when the one we thought who is meant to be no longer loves us, we couldn't take it so easily despite being so strong and independent in our career.
Yet, for those women, they need men for their survival (even if not as boyfriend and husband, their income were still depending on men). Mind you again, they need men, any men who can fit the bill in providing for them and treat them well. It doesn't have to be the one and only. As long as a good one comes by, not too bad from what they need, then they will just hold on to it. If that one man happens to leave them, then they just feel sad for a while, then move on to the next one who can fit the bill again. To them, there isn't such thing as one and only; it's just anyone who can fulfill what they need in life.
Just too bad that man is the kind of animal that wants to feel they are needed. They do not realise that a person who needs you doesn't necessarily mean that it's love. It's just that you so happen to be able to provide for the needs, that's all. True love is not about getting the needs fulfilled; it's that even if she does not need you for anything, she still be with you, care for you, love you for who you are, or even for who you are not.
I just wonder if there is really a man in this world who can fully appreciate this fact. Well, even if there is, i doubt i can be so lucky to meet him. My long history of love life has proven over and over again that i'm one unlucky person who will never find the right man who can love me for who i am forever.
Labels: friendship, introspection, opinion
| Cogitated @ 5:39 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Friday, June 26, 2009
Transience of life
I woke up this morning to see the news about the death of MJ, the King of Pop. Our generation practically grew up with his music, and now he's dead.
Sigh, nothing is constant in life. Everything changes everyday. It's human fallacy to believe that there are permanence in life, that something in life will stay the same forever.
YY and i used to talk about the transience of life (人生无常), whereby we knew that life that seems to be going well at this minute may pretty well just take a sharp turn at the very next minute. One moment you are on the top of the world, the next you may just fall into hell.
When we talked about this, we were only referring to our career and financial situation. We never really realised that even our relationship and his love for me would change. We had thought that our love is gonna last a lifetime, despite knowing that nothing stays the same forever. How ironic that is.
Yet the events in life will really give you a knock on the head, so that we will face the reality and wake up to the fact that no one is spared in this aspect.
Last evening, i was feeling miserable after the video conference with US counterpart. I took a cab home and again the cab driver chatted up with me (i always met cab drivers who like to chat with me!). He told me to direct him the route, as he was new to driving cab, just started one week ago in fact.
He told me that he has a daytime job actually, but due to economic downturn, he suffered a pay cut from $2.5K per month to $1.5K per month. So in order to cover the loss of monthly income (he probably has family commitment), he has to drive cab in the night for 7 hours (from 8pm to 3am) and sacrifices his sleeping hours. He sounded cheerful nevertheless, saying that he was fortunate that it was just a pay cut and not retrenchment, so he at least still has a job. He also said that despite the income from driving cab nowadays is not as good as the old times already, at least he manages to make ends meet with this additional income.
What he told me hit me actually; while i was immersing in my self-pity, there's someone out here who's working hard to support his family and never gives up on life. I know that we should not compare sufferings; i mean, after all, everyone is different. We have different life experiences and the level of endurance is also different. So what seems to be insignificant to one person may be the end of the world for another.
Yet, this does tell me that there's always way to make life the way we want it to be. All we have to do is just to seek for it and do it, even if it means that we will have to live through difficulties to get what we hope for life. Life is suffering indeed, but we can make a choice on what we want out of all these sufferings at the end of the day.
On a related note, the life event of this cab driver reaffirms my belief that we get to choose how we earn our money. YY had justified that woman working in a sexual-related job with her sad story, saying that none of us know how pitiful she is, and probably she is very "noble" in doing the job that she does not like because she needs money to feed her poor family. He has the utmost sympathy and admiration for her "perseverance" and "sacrifices" that she made for her family... bla bla bla...
But then, it's back to the same thing as what i said before, there are things that you do for money, but there are things that you do not. I've known China women in SG here who worked two jobs at hawker centers for their family back home, whose stories may be hundred times more heart-wrenching than YY's mistress. Yet they chose a different ways to earn their money.
The same for this cab driver; getting the pay cut was not something he could control, but how to cover the loss of income to make sure his family can still live the same life is definitely something he can choose. There are always indecent ways to earn fast and easy money, but is that something that you want to do for money?
To be born in a poor family and not having the opportunity to be highly educated or build a promising career are not something we can choose, but we do get to choose how to overcome these unfavourable conditions in life. The question is just that do we choose to do it with dignity, in the right and good way, or do we choose another path that disregard everything else just for money but disguise it with the noble reason of "i'm doing this for my family"? That really goes to show what kind of persons such people are and what the priority is in their lives, but then countless of foolish men still keep falling for it. And in the end, let those foolish men reap what they sow.
On the same token, i gotta tell myself too that i get to choose how my life wanna be. It is not of my choice to have my beloved 贝 changed so much into the heartless YY, and i just gotta accept that this is the way it is already. Yes, i am hurt deeply, i am depressed, and i lost my husband, my marriage, my dream world, my trust in love, my money and my home. But i still have so many more other things that i should treasure. I can continue on in licking my wound and whine about it as one of the stages of the healing process, but that gotta stop at some point of time and move on to the next stage.
And i know it won't be long already.
Sigh, nothing is constant in life. Everything changes everyday. It's human fallacy to believe that there are permanence in life, that something in life will stay the same forever.
YY and i used to talk about the transience of life (人生无常), whereby we knew that life that seems to be going well at this minute may pretty well just take a sharp turn at the very next minute. One moment you are on the top of the world, the next you may just fall into hell.
When we talked about this, we were only referring to our career and financial situation. We never really realised that even our relationship and his love for me would change. We had thought that our love is gonna last a lifetime, despite knowing that nothing stays the same forever. How ironic that is.
Yet the events in life will really give you a knock on the head, so that we will face the reality and wake up to the fact that no one is spared in this aspect.
Last evening, i was feeling miserable after the video conference with US counterpart. I took a cab home and again the cab driver chatted up with me (i always met cab drivers who like to chat with me!). He told me to direct him the route, as he was new to driving cab, just started one week ago in fact.
He told me that he has a daytime job actually, but due to economic downturn, he suffered a pay cut from $2.5K per month to $1.5K per month. So in order to cover the loss of monthly income (he probably has family commitment), he has to drive cab in the night for 7 hours (from 8pm to 3am) and sacrifices his sleeping hours. He sounded cheerful nevertheless, saying that he was fortunate that it was just a pay cut and not retrenchment, so he at least still has a job. He also said that despite the income from driving cab nowadays is not as good as the old times already, at least he manages to make ends meet with this additional income.
What he told me hit me actually; while i was immersing in my self-pity, there's someone out here who's working hard to support his family and never gives up on life. I know that we should not compare sufferings; i mean, after all, everyone is different. We have different life experiences and the level of endurance is also different. So what seems to be insignificant to one person may be the end of the world for another.
Yet, this does tell me that there's always way to make life the way we want it to be. All we have to do is just to seek for it and do it, even if it means that we will have to live through difficulties to get what we hope for life. Life is suffering indeed, but we can make a choice on what we want out of all these sufferings at the end of the day.
On a related note, the life event of this cab driver reaffirms my belief that we get to choose how we earn our money. YY had justified that woman working in a sexual-related job with her sad story, saying that none of us know how pitiful she is, and probably she is very "noble" in doing the job that she does not like because she needs money to feed her poor family. He has the utmost sympathy and admiration for her "perseverance" and "sacrifices" that she made for her family... bla bla bla...
But then, it's back to the same thing as what i said before, there are things that you do for money, but there are things that you do not. I've known China women in SG here who worked two jobs at hawker centers for their family back home, whose stories may be hundred times more heart-wrenching than YY's mistress. Yet they chose a different ways to earn their money.
The same for this cab driver; getting the pay cut was not something he could control, but how to cover the loss of income to make sure his family can still live the same life is definitely something he can choose. There are always indecent ways to earn fast and easy money, but is that something that you want to do for money?
To be born in a poor family and not having the opportunity to be highly educated or build a promising career are not something we can choose, but we do get to choose how to overcome these unfavourable conditions in life. The question is just that do we choose to do it with dignity, in the right and good way, or do we choose another path that disregard everything else just for money but disguise it with the noble reason of "i'm doing this for my family"? That really goes to show what kind of persons such people are and what the priority is in their lives, but then countless of foolish men still keep falling for it. And in the end, let those foolish men reap what they sow.
On the same token, i gotta tell myself too that i get to choose how my life wanna be. It is not of my choice to have my beloved 贝 changed so much into the heartless YY, and i just gotta accept that this is the way it is already. Yes, i am hurt deeply, i am depressed, and i lost my husband, my marriage, my dream world, my trust in love, my money and my home. But i still have so many more other things that i should treasure. I can continue on in licking my wound and whine about it as one of the stages of the healing process, but that gotta stop at some point of time and move on to the next stage.
And i know it won't be long already.
Labels: introspection, opinion
| Cogitated @ 6:52 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Sunday, June 21, 2009
Some thoughts
Read some postings on the forum again.
I think this pretty much explained my situation back then too. Despite having hurt by him with the affair, i still love him and put his interest in front of mine, but he could not see it anymore. Why? Simply, he does not love me anymore and his heart is with another already.
Simply put, it comes from love. This is very much like what EY told me about love is illogical. We were taught of moral values, what's right and wrong through education and social conditioning. When we can think logically, we know that it is wrong and we should not and must not do it. Yet, when we don't think but feel, when we don't behave with logical mind but with illogical feeling, we would just do what feels right and happy.
Of course, i do not entirely agree to this kind of thought, because it hovers dangerously around condoning criminal behaviours even. I mean, if a guy rapes a girl simply because he feels right and happy in doing so, and disregard laws and morals, then this world is gonna be a horrible place.
I think the part about "it comes from within, it comes from the spirit" is the essence. If everyone has a good, righteous and kind internal self and spirit, then what comes from within and from the spirit will naturally be right and moral, not needing any social or legal restriction to it. Then we will only pursue the right things, and only the right things will make us happy.
So what's most important is to build a healthy internal self, and then only we will walk the right path in life.
...many years ago when my girlfriend was out with another guy on a trip, it was unbearable so i'm not gonna make light of your feelings... but what made me get over it is that everything i have done and not done, led her to make a decision to go on that trip. I really felt angry at that point, but it soon gave way to Realization - that her heart is no longer with me, else even the little things i do would move her...
Life is such... if a person loves u, even buying breakfast for them touches them... if the person no longer loves u, moving mountains is gonna make them feel that you're being pathetic and trying too hard, or even making them go on a guilt trip.
I think this pretty much explained my situation back then too. Despite having hurt by him with the affair, i still love him and put his interest in front of mine, but he could not see it anymore. Why? Simply, he does not love me anymore and his heart is with another already.
People can say all they want, but your husband has gone beyond society's views of what's right/what's wrong to find his happiness. 90% of the forummers here are still finding their perceived happiness living by society's rules of right/wrongs. As for you, you're in the middle but closer to the 90%. Once you've crossed over, you will know what i mean.
He's happy with that lady, he's not feeling guilty, the only negative feeling is probably regret towards you and kids... REGRETS, NOT GUILT. Regrets means he knows what he wants to do, and he will regrettably do it against all of society's idea that it's wrong, because he feels right in doing so. It comes from within, it comes from the spirit, ungoverned by laws and education.
Simply put, it comes from love. This is very much like what EY told me about love is illogical. We were taught of moral values, what's right and wrong through education and social conditioning. When we can think logically, we know that it is wrong and we should not and must not do it. Yet, when we don't think but feel, when we don't behave with logical mind but with illogical feeling, we would just do what feels right and happy.
Of course, i do not entirely agree to this kind of thought, because it hovers dangerously around condoning criminal behaviours even. I mean, if a guy rapes a girl simply because he feels right and happy in doing so, and disregard laws and morals, then this world is gonna be a horrible place.
I think the part about "it comes from within, it comes from the spirit" is the essence. If everyone has a good, righteous and kind internal self and spirit, then what comes from within and from the spirit will naturally be right and moral, not needing any social or legal restriction to it. Then we will only pursue the right things, and only the right things will make us happy.
So what's most important is to build a healthy internal self, and then only we will walk the right path in life.
| Cogitated @ 5:27 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Good people get blamed
You know, there's a misconception in the world that when there's a 3rd party gotten involved in a relationship, or there is an extramarital affair, it must be something wrong with the relationship / marriage and BOTH parties have the responsibilities for it to happen. In fact, this concept is so much instilled into our minds that the party being betrayed would actually blame herself for the things to happen.
This was what happened to me actually. When i first got to know about the affair, i blamed myself for spending too much time on my job and not giving YY enough attention.
But then, even though most relationships fail because of both parties, to generalise it is actually a misconception. It's on a presumption that if everything goes perfectly in a marriage, then no parties will go off track. This is assuming that if we live in a perfect world and then everyone will behave perfectly.
This kind of misconception has actually somewhat given a justification to people having affair, thinking that "hey, it is not me but the problems in our relationship!". That is sometimes they would not feel remorseful or repent, for they do not think that they have to bear the full responsibilities.
Our changing society and value systems (deteriorating moral values) have a lot to contribute to the high rate of infidelity and failure in marriages nowadays.
Quoted from this site.
In my case, it is even more unfair to me.
You know, if i spent so much time on work because i am a very ambitious person who wants to climb high in the corporate ladder, than i'd say i'm partly to be blamed.
Yet, last year, i actually felt tired at my job too. As it was a new set-up and we were short-handed, i was taking on a lot of work. The frequent travelling was also very tiring for me. I had actually thought of looking for other jobs several times, and talked to YY about it. But then, his career wasn't looking too good and he told me that we couldn't afford to lose my side of income (since i earn more) if we were to maintain our lifestyle. So i would have to stay on no matter how unhappy i was in the job. Basically, i was doing it for our current and future life together.
In the end, it was exactly because of this that he felt neglected and fell for the China woman who could devote all her attention on him to make sure he is hooked at all times. So, i worked and worked and worked, not for my own ambition but for our future, yet i was penalised for it?
It really feels like i give my everything and in the end not only i got nothing in return, i was actually deeply hurt. I spent so much time in preparing for the wedding and so much money on the HDB unit. Now, my marriage is gone and i don't get to stay in the home i paid (and still paying) for anymore. My job is also on the line now because of my inability to concentrate on my work.
So for truly loving a person with all my life, what do i get in the end? I lost everything. I got myself in debt, without a home of my own to stay in, loneliness and eternal heartache.
Is nothing good really will ever come out of loving a person wholeheartedly? Do we all have to be selfish beings just so that we will be happy and don't get hurt (and become the one hurting others instead, like YY and that China woman, who are both selfish people to their core)? What's wrong with wanting to be a good person really?
This world has gone crazy. I hate it.
This was what happened to me actually. When i first got to know about the affair, i blamed myself for spending too much time on my job and not giving YY enough attention.
But then, even though most relationships fail because of both parties, to generalise it is actually a misconception. It's on a presumption that if everything goes perfectly in a marriage, then no parties will go off track. This is assuming that if we live in a perfect world and then everyone will behave perfectly.
This kind of misconception has actually somewhat given a justification to people having affair, thinking that "hey, it is not me but the problems in our relationship!". That is sometimes they would not feel remorseful or repent, for they do not think that they have to bear the full responsibilities.
Our changing society and value systems (deteriorating moral values) have a lot to contribute to the high rate of infidelity and failure in marriages nowadays.
Most people want to believe that extramarital affairs happen when a relationship has a problem. However, that is not entirely true. While it is true that some people get drawn to people other than their partner when their marriage is on the rocks, there are times when people indulge in extramarital affairs because they do not seem to see any harm in it. Therefore, lack of commitment or character can make a person indulge in extramarital affair.
Let us not forget the individualistic pleasures that the society of today encourages us to indulge in. The society that we live in lays a huge emphasis on personal happiness and self-gratification. This thought has got so ingrained in people’s mind that they do not want to deal with any kind of unhappiness in a marriage. Therefore, people tend to run away to the first person that helps them take their mind off this unhappiness. In order to gain momentary happiness, people tend to sacrifice a lifetime of smiles and bliss.
Quoted from this site.
In my case, it is even more unfair to me.
You know, if i spent so much time on work because i am a very ambitious person who wants to climb high in the corporate ladder, than i'd say i'm partly to be blamed.
Yet, last year, i actually felt tired at my job too. As it was a new set-up and we were short-handed, i was taking on a lot of work. The frequent travelling was also very tiring for me. I had actually thought of looking for other jobs several times, and talked to YY about it. But then, his career wasn't looking too good and he told me that we couldn't afford to lose my side of income (since i earn more) if we were to maintain our lifestyle. So i would have to stay on no matter how unhappy i was in the job. Basically, i was doing it for our current and future life together.
In the end, it was exactly because of this that he felt neglected and fell for the China woman who could devote all her attention on him to make sure he is hooked at all times. So, i worked and worked and worked, not for my own ambition but for our future, yet i was penalised for it?
It really feels like i give my everything and in the end not only i got nothing in return, i was actually deeply hurt. I spent so much time in preparing for the wedding and so much money on the HDB unit. Now, my marriage is gone and i don't get to stay in the home i paid (and still paying) for anymore. My job is also on the line now because of my inability to concentrate on my work.
So for truly loving a person with all my life, what do i get in the end? I lost everything. I got myself in debt, without a home of my own to stay in, loneliness and eternal heartache.
Is nothing good really will ever come out of loving a person wholeheartedly? Do we all have to be selfish beings just so that we will be happy and don't get hurt (and become the one hurting others instead, like YY and that China woman, who are both selfish people to their core)? What's wrong with wanting to be a good person really?
This world has gone crazy. I hate it.
| Cogitated @ 11:16 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
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