Her rendition of the song really made my hair stand. It was like that voice buried deep in my heart yelling out to the world, expressing the constant feelings that i have - that inadequacies i always feel in me, the remorse i hold for the past, the forlornness that lurks in my heart, and the apprehension i have for the future.
And i know that it is not only me, but a few of my close friends may identify themselves in this song too.
My dearest friends, do you hear your inner self too in this song?
Do you feel that the higher you go, the more complicated your life becomes (也许有一天我栖上了枝头 却成为猎人的目标)?
Do you also realise that the higher you want to fly, the lonelier you get in life (我飞上了青天 才发现自己从此无依无靠)?
Do you also wonder if you are the only one who's going nowhere for your future (我怀疑是不是只有我的明天没有变得更好)?
Are you also feeling the helplessness of being tied down by the obligations in life (世界是如此的小 我们注定无处可逃。。。生活的压力与生命的尊严哪一个重要)?
My friends, i know how it feels, for i feel the same way too. All the time.
By the Chinese saying that a person would live till 70 years old (人生七十古来稀), then being 35 years old means that about half of our life is gone already. Yeah, we are at the age of stuck-in-between; we are not young anymore and yet we are not really old either; we are not here nor there in the journey of life.
Sometimes i wonder what i have really done for the half of my life. I wonder how i came to where i am today, and where i am heading to, or rather, where i should be heading to. Despite of all the years of education, despite of how much i've seen of the world, despite of all the experience i've gathered through my life, i suddenly realise that i'm actually an ignorant person, for i do not know for sure what i really want for the future.
Or maybe it is not that. Maybe it's just that i know very well that we can never get what we really want for our lives. We can hope and we can pray, but at the end of the day, it is not our will but His.
Do not be mistaken that this means we do not have to make choices. Yes, it is His will to be done, but He gave us free will too to choose whether or not we will be obedient.
Whichever path we take will lead us down a different route, and the most important thing is that we must never stray from the right course, for we only get to travel through life once and there is no turning back. There is of course always a chance to set back to the right course, but what's done has been done and what's lost has been lost. We can never get back the time or the life that we had failed to treasure.
I have regrets. I have fear. Yet i also have hope; dimming it may seen but still gleaming through the darkness.
Perhaps when my faith is strengthened, then there shall be no more regrets nor fear. Until then, the shimmering light of hope will continue leading the way.
Labels: introspection
