I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I already knew that this is gonna be a super hectic and stressful week, or even weeks.

I left the office at 10.15pm today, and I guess this is going to be the norm for these two weeks.

I'm now racing against time. There are two major deadlines on this and next Friday. For the one that is due this week, we are only about half done with the job only. My team is working hard to meet the deadline now, as we cannot postpone it anymore, for it had already been postponed three times. I told them that if we fail to deliver the program again this time, heads will roll - and for sure that will be my head, and I'm afraid I only have one attached to my neck and I intend to keep it attached.

Then, as if this is not stressful enough, the auditor gotta conduct the IT audit this week, and boss gotta send email to all the managers and talk about budget for the coming years.

I'm not sure how I am coping with this stress really. I kinda just ignore it and am not doing anything to help myself de-stress. I reckon the best way for me to deal with the stress is not to let it bother me by pretending it is not there, hoping that I will gradually get so used to it that my tolerance towards stress will improve and eventually I won't even be stressed anymore. Then I become invincible. Wahahaha...

Well, the fact is that you could probably see that I may have gone insane in the process. Actually, i can seriously feel the stress level increasing as Friday draws near. There seems to be something's at the back of my mind all the time, and I even feel a little bit short of breath because there's this feeling of heaviness weighing on my heart, constantly.

Just last night, I intentionally went to bed earlier at 11:15pm (yes, that's considered early for me), thinking that i would get sufficient 7 hours of sleep for a good start to a busy week. Yet, I woke up on my own at 4am. I guess I'm too used to sleeping for 5 hours only that my boliological clock is totally screwed up now. Either this, or the stress is disrupting my sleep too.

Oh well, whatever it is, I ought to sleep now. Tomorrow's gonna be another long day/week.


just think work is not everything and it's not the end of the world if you cannot deliver the result. Throw the best and if only there's someone who could do better. that's what i always tell myself when i fail to meet deadlines. of course, i'm not suggesting to be slack, you should at least give your best and fulfill the responsibility and duty. (haha, for saturday and sunday i don't even bother to think about my stupid job *though the job requires high analytical skill*. i don't even want to check work email when i'm at home, so i'm not really doing the best actually, maybe 70%).

sure you don't want people to lump you as a lousy incapable person who talks only and yet actionless (yeah, i meet a lot bosses like that, and pinpin of course is not one on that category lor :) ) . but then, health is more important, and don't let stress to cause you becoming insane and losing pinpin what we know and admire. when friday's over, it would then all back to tranquility, and learn the lesson to improve yourself later. sometimes it's just work exceeds one's capability and it takes super human to accomplish it. take it easy and don't let stress takes over you.

you should throw away that bad habit of 5 hours sleep daily, it's spoiling your health, and when your health is not good, it will jeopardize your work delivery, and that's not good excuse to justify the bad performance.

gee, talk/write is cheap, but i really hope you meet the goal and deliver the project in time! ALL THE BEST! cheers.

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