Cogito ergo scribo

Here's a MSN chat log i had with 贝 in the office yesterday (names had been changed to protect the innocent):

PinPin: a gal emailed me
PinPin: title: xxxx from penang
PinPin: content: Hi xxxx Pin,

How are you? Understand that you are working in Singapore
currently .... plan to go to Singapore end of April, wonder
if we could meet up?

xxxx

PinPin: the thing is... i can't remember who she is
PinPin: so how to reject?
PinPin: and i wonder where the hell did she get my contact
贝: i can't remember who the hell r u ...
贝: reply like this loh
PinPin: i think she's one of my university mate from Canada

(... chatted other stuff ...)

PinPin: i'm so gonna put our first part of the conversation on my blog
贝: why? what's it abt to blog?
PinPin: about some ppl just emailed u out of the blue even tho had not been keeping in touch for like since police wear shorts
PinPin: and then out of the sudden wanna come to your place and wanna meet up
PinPin: it's either wanna do some direct selling or want a guide or accommodation
PinPin: sorry that i think so negatively but what else can be the explanation for such sudden contact???
贝: which email address she sent to?
PinPin: gmail. so i think must be gotten from one of my frens
PinPin: anyway, end april we are going back to BM
PinPin: so i should say "i can't remember who the hell are you, and i'm going to penang end april anyway so you can just eat yourself"
PinPin: how about that?
贝: yup.... preferably to use "f*ck urself"
PinPin: oh wait, i can't put this in my blog leh... coz my frens know about my blog. what if this gal reads it too then i'll be doom
PinPin: being so nasty behind her back
PinPin: what a waste

Well, being a thrifty person who doesn't like to waste thing, i still post this up in the end.

So, if you happen to be the gal who sent me the email and reading this now, please don't be offended. It was just a joke. However nasty and not funny, it's still a joke nonetheless. Hey, at least i'm no longer being nasty behind your back. Yet, i would recommend that you don't continue reading any further as you may find what i'm about to say rather hurtful. If you decide to press on, just remember this: truth and honesty do hurt sometimes.

Those who know me well enough should know that i hate engaging in small talk. That's why sometimes i shun some ex-classmates when i saw them on the street from afar. I don't see the point of greeting someone who had never come into my mind for the last decade and most probably will stay out of my mind for the next decade as well. If i were to greet them, then i gotta feign interest in how they are doing now. The fact is that i don't really give a shit about how they are so why do i need to force myself to pretend that i care? The most is that i get a piece of news to gossip to other friends for our next gathering but after that i would forget about that person again. So why bother?!

I had also had the unpleasant experience of getting calls from old acquaintances who had not been keeping in touch for ages, and only to discover that they had something up their sleeves. Most cases were those planning to expand their business network (e.g. selling insurance or doing direct selling). Some may be looking for people to fill up their wedding tables. Others may be hoping to get a free accommodation or tour guide. I really don't have the time or interest to entertain such friends.

Of course, i don't discount the possibility that the gal who sent me the email may genuinely wanted to catch up with me. I mean, ya, it is possible that she just happened to flip through the old photos, saw me in the pictures (had i ever taken any pictures with her?), remembered the good old days, missed me, wondered how i was doing, and then went through all the troubles to get my contact through other friends.

Or she may have dreamt of me one day, remembered the good old days, missed me, wondered how i was doing, and then went through all the troubles to get my contact through other friends.

But then, there's also a possibility that she planned to visit Singapore, hoped to get a guide in this area, remembered that i was from JB, missed my hospitality, wondered if i could bring her around, and then went through all the troubles to get my contact through other friends.

Hmm, i wonder which possibility is more likely to happen...

Ok, i may sound rude, nasty, cold, or even like a bitch. But give me a good reason why i should meet up with this gal. After the MSN session with 贝, i tried very hard to recall who she was and finally had some vague impression. If my recollection served me right and i was thinking about the right person, i was never that close a friend with this gal. Just in the same university and about the same intake... er, or maybe she was there earlier than me? I couldn't even remember how she looked like and if she was in the same faculty as me. I had probably met up with her once after returned to Malaysia when i was working in Penang but i couldn't be sure. I think she got married and invited me to her wedding.. er, or was it her?

See my point? If i really meet up with her, i wouldn't know what to say at all. It's gonna be the most awkward moment of all awkward moments in my life. So why subject myself (and her) to it? On her part, wouldn't it be better too that i cook up an excuse for not meeting her, rather than meeting her and let her know that i had almost forgotten her totally? It always sucks to know that you are not a person whom people remember.

So if you are indeed the gal who sent me the email and read this far, please don't be upset over what i've written. Out of courtesy, i will reply to your email with a nice and friendly tone. Please appreciate that i didn't just ignore you or really reply with a one-liner like what i joked about in the MSN chat log.

Anyway, it's so coincidental that i'll be out of town when you are here. Really, not planned but simply a coincidence. Really.

Labels: friendship