Values are deeply held beliefs that guide our behaviors and decisions. They reside deeply within the subconscious and are tightly integrated into the fabric of everyday living. We make decisions and choose behaviors, friends, employment, and entertainment based, in large part, on our values.
We tend to live our lives in accordance with our values. When we face a decision and choose A instead of B, it's often because A feels right to us. We might use words such as, "it's the right thing to do," or "that's the right way."
We tend to think of our values as absolute and universal, what feels right to us must be right for everyone, but is it? Intellectually, we know the answer is no. We easily use the phrase "different strokes for different folks" as we observe a behavior that amuses, but doesn't threaten us.
Still, there are times when we bristle at someone's behavior, becoming outraged and angry, especially when a value we hold is challenged or violated. Recall a heated argument between friends or family members. A value conflict was surely the cause. In fact, any spontaneous and strong reaction to a situation can more than likely be traced to a values conflict.
I have learnt before in my Psychology class that behaviours can be altered, but personal values are deep rooted and the hardest to change.
It is the very thing that define our existence. It is who we are, without which we are no longer ourselves.
I am now undergoing a difficult phase of value conflicts. Unless and until i change what i have always believed in for the past 30-odd years, i will forever be void of happiness.
Labels: introspection
