How do i know it? Well, i just do. And for a very good and valid reason that i cannot disclose here.
Now that we are heading towards the road of separation and subsequent divorce 3 years later, what he does and who he f*cks should not be my concern anymore. However, technically, we are still husband and wife under the law. He ought to be discreet in the things he does.
But then, even when we had not decided on separation, he was already indiscreetly dating and wooing that woman as if he's still single, having sex and bringing her everywhere, even to KL meeting his friends as if she was the wife or girlfriend. So really, what does he care anyway?
What i found disgusting is actually not this. I mean, it goes without saying that they would of course continue the affair. Any idiots would be able to tell that.
What really disgusted me is the fact that he was still trying to lie to the whole world, including his own family. And to me too.
Really, what is the point in lying to me now? I don't get it at all. I already know everything, and even if he breaks up with her now, it will not ease any of my pain. Similarly, even if he still continues the affair or marries her one day, it won't add on to my pain anymore either. That's because i had already been hurt to the extreme, and whatever they still do or don't do will not make any difference anymore.
(And i am darn sure that despite the heat of love that he is having for her now, his life with her will never be as happy and as blissful as the one we had. He will either discover her true personality one day, or ended up with being just a normal man feeding his once-a-sexual-worker and shrewd wife, plus a step daughter and his own kids. Mark my word for it.)
Then on his lies to his family... well, i know he definitely gotta keep it under cover because of his parents, who are very upset with him now. If they get to know that he is still with that China massage woman who destroyed their son's marriage, i think they will be more upset and probably totally give up on him already. So he gotta deny it no matter what.
However, what i do learn from this incident is that the family will always side their own member no matter how grave the mistake is. Everyone has been telling me not to be naive. They parents may scold him for a while, but in the end, they would still believe in their son and even find a fault in the daughter-in-law to justify the failure of the marriage. It happens everywhere, all the time.
So it is no surprise that YY's repeated denial about his on-going affair with that China woman can convince the parents. All parents would choose to believe the words of their own children more than an outsider (yes, daughter-in-law is still, after all, an outsider to the family). In addition, no parents would want to believe that their own children are so bad; they would not want to think that the children are no longer under their control and will tell lies and do things behind their backs.
Another sickening part is that when asked, he still tells people that the person he truly loves is the wife and not that woman. It's either he still wanna appear to be the good person in front of others, or even he couldn't accept himself to be such a jerk. So despite having strong affection and love for that woman, he still wanna tell everyone otherwise.
I seriously do not know why he would come to this, how he would become a person like this. He wasn't like this at all for the past 8 years. So it's either he has changed so much, or i had been blind for so long.
Whatever it is, his continuous lying is just deepening his sins. If he wants to be a real man, then he should just admit it and face the consequences. Still putting up a show is also unfair to that woman whom he supposedly loves so much that he is willing to give up everything for her. Is she that not "presentable" to the people in his world, especially his parents? So this means that his love for her isn't that great either.
I guess he only loves himself the most. He is just plain selfish.
Labels: rant
