Everyone said to me that i am actually very lucky to have discovered the truth now, when i am still "young". Ok, i really do not know what they meant by young. I mean, after all, i am 34 years old already. For a woman, it's not anywhere near the adjective "young".
Yet, i do not look 34. This is comment by others actually. My friend's friend thought i'm still in university; i went to hawker centre and the hawker called me "little gal" (小妹) instead of miss (小姐); some of my colleagues who do not know about my background and story thought i am at my twenties without a boyfriend, and asked me to look for one while i am still young.
The lawyer when heard that i had been dating my husband for 8 years, he commented, "oh, then it means since school days?" I was stunned and said to him that i am actually not that young, and to that he said he thought i'm only twenty-something.
The landlady who rented the room to me saw me for the second time on Thursday. With the change of my hairstyle and slimmed down a lot, she said i should dress up more and i will look very pretty. My housemate also said that i am very sweet looking, but only that i am very pale now due to the extended months of sleep deprivation and poor dietry. She confidently told me that with her help in changing my image, i'd be very attractive and guys will be lining up for me.
Of course, they may be saying all these as a consolation to me, just to make me feel better when i'm so depressed now. Anyway, i also find it amusing that people would always console a person who's out of love with the reason that "there are plenty of guys out there for you".
Yes, i know YY is not the only man in the world; i know i will be able to get another man if i really want to. Just that i do not have that kind of thought now. I guess it's normal; i just lost interest in falling in love again. I feel it's a very tiring affair actually.
Regardless, it does feel good to hear those nice comments. I know that i don't look my age, as my family members are mostly young looking too. Take my mom for instance, she will be 60 years old this year, but some people actually thought she is only late 40s.
Of course, losing a lot of weight and gaining back my previous figure also helps too. Now i can look good in any kind of outfits without worrying about the tummy or fat arms. Yeah, my boobs may be reduced too, but i have the sufficient height to carry myself and look slender and polished when i am in the right outfits.
So yeah, i guess i should really change my wardrobe and my image. When a woman looks good, she will feel confidence too.
That is exactly what i need now, a boost to my self-assurance.
Labels: vanity
