Cogito ergo scribo

In less than 8 hours, mom will be flying back to SG. Her flight is at 6:45am tomorrow.

Finally, after almost three months, i am really gonna be on my own. I will have to start cooking for myself, wash my own clothes, and clean the apartment myself. Not that i've not done all these before, but the last time i lived on my own like this was about 15 years ago when i was studying in Canada, and i had a bunch of friends staying together at that time. This time 'round, it's gonna be really "on my own".

I have mixed feeling about her departure; i must say that i do look forward to it more than feeling unwilling to let her go. As i have mentioned before, this apartment is too small for me to have a personal space that i need when she is around. Mothers will forever treat their children like kids, not realising that we are grown-ups who do not need all the nagging and excessive concerns or attention. Of course i know that such behaviours are out of love and i do appreciate and treasure that; i may even miss it when she is no longer around. Yet, at this stage of my life, i really want and need the freedom and space to think, to recuperate, and to move on.

And i wonder what mom feels about going back - probably the same mixed feeling as me? Back in JB, she has lots of friends and relatives. Her life is filled with activities and never bored even though i was in SG during weekdays. Over here, she spent all her days in the apartment cooking, cleaning and watching Korean dramas. The life here must have been quite boring for her. However, i believe she must be worried about me being here all alone and hope to have her children by her side. So i bet she must be torn between wanting to return and staying here.

Anyway, with such early flight tomorrow, we would have to leave the apartment by 4:30am. She is already in bed snoring away now. I ought to go to bed soon as well. Hopefully i'd be able to catch some sleep after sending her off and then wake up in time to attend the Sunday service.

Labels: family, life