Cogito ergo scribo

Woke up with lousy mood this morning. Actually i should be in a good mood since it's Friday, but sometimes you would be unhappy about something that even shouting "TGIF" wouldn't help.

贝 and i had a tiff last night. All couples have arguments every now and then so it's actually no big deal. However, this time the tiff was about me spending too much time on my blog that i have less time for him and also resulted in not getting enough sleep. As we didn't reconcile our differences before sleeping, my unhappiness was brought over to this morning. No wonder the experts always say that never bring your unhappiness to bed. Always settle it so that we can start afresh the next day. As for 贝, he is just like any other guys -- they forget about the whole thing after one night of sleep. To the guys, gals are so petty; to the gals, guys are so insensitive.

Of course, being a sensible person, i didn't just attribute the problem to 贝. I did reflect on myself to see if i indeed was in the wrong. My conclusion is that both of us were not wrong. The problem is with my lifestyle. As i've mentioned in my About Me Web page, writing requires a lot of time, especially quiet time alone. This is exactly what i'm lacking of -- the luxury of time.

A typical weekday of mine goes like this:



For many people, my life would be considered as boring and uninteresting. Yes, i can't refute that. Perhaps even a road accident, such as bus tumbling off the road, would be considered as exciting in my daily life. That's why i've been blogging about the minute stuff in my life -- i don't see road accident everyday so i have nothing interesting to write about everyday.

Despite this routine, i don't really have any complaints. Maybe i'm a boring person by nature, or maybe i understand that i'm just an ordinary person leading an ordinary life. I bet there are many people around the world leading a similar life as mine. I'm fine with it, really. The only problem that i have with this kind of life is that i have very little personal time left daily for me to engage in activities that i like, such as reading and writing.

Although it may appear that i should have enough time for blogging at work and at night, it is actually not so:

• I have been making use of my idle time in office to blog since the manufacturing operation has stopped. However, i'm getting busy again lately because the management thought of using the non-operational period to revamp the ERP system. This also means lesser time for me to "eat snake" (loaf) now.
  


• It may look like from 9.30pm to 11.30pm should be sufficient for me to blog since there are about 2 hours of time. It is actually not quite enough because i don't really have the full hours. There are interruptions in between such as waiting for my turn to use the 3G data card, tidying up things, chatting with mom or aunt, pang sai... My slow laptop, lousy photoshop skill, and maybe even crappy writing skill also add on to the time needed for me to complete a post.
  


• Sometimes we would reach home later than 7.30pm because of traffic jam at checkpoint or 贝 working late. The time for me to blog would be shorten in such case.
  


• Since i gotta wake up really early the next day and i can't do without enough sleep, i can't turn in too late or else i'll be dead beat the next day. That's why it would be best if i can hit the sack at 10.30pm to get a full 8-hour sleep, or the latest by 11.30pm to have at least 7 hours of sleep. This is when i really envy Sui on her minimal requirement of sleeping time.

So, by looking at how i spend my daily life, it's easy to understand 贝's unhappiness. Before i started my blog, my schedule in the night looked like this:


If i were to maintain blogging and still spend time with 贝，i would have to push back the time of going to bed, which was what happened lately and thus 贝's complaint of not having enough sleep. Since 贝 is definitely more important than blogging, i've decided to re-adjust my schedule as follows:


This basically means that i will stop blogging at 10.30pm even if i've not finished the post. Therefore, from now on, i may not be able to have daily posting, even though i'll still do my best to complete it by writing shorter post. Hopefully this works and there will be no more frictions between us due to my blog. If it still doesn't work, then i'm even prepared to do this:



After all, it is rather silly to have a relationship affected by a third-party, when the third-party is just a blog.

Labels: blogging, life, love, trivia