Labels: blogging
Cogito ergo scribo
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Nothing
Just to demonstrate my points.
| Cogitated @ 4:03 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
| 
Haha!!!
Like. Like. Like.
, at 3/10/12 7:31 pm
No wonder why your marriage failed....... , at 3/10/12 7:54 pm
Hmm, I think 'whatever' is more appropriate ... Please don't easily give up of something you enjoy doing - writing. Cheers. -Hy- , at 4/10/12 5:04 am
Random thoughts on blogging
[Alert: super long and random post ahead.]
When i was in kindergarten, i collected stamps. Now i do not know where those stamps are anymore.
When i was in primary school, i collected nice letterhead and envelopes. Now those papers and envelopes are deep in my drawers and i use them to scribble notes.
When i was in high school, i learnt guitar for a year and now i do not know how to play it anymore. I was in the photography society (during those days with film camera) but now i don't even own a DSLR and do not take particularly good photos.
I had taken swimming classes before but i didn't complete the lessons and so i do not know how to swim even till today. I had attempted to learn cycling before but did not manage to pick it up and so i do not know how to cycle.
I am a fan of Peanuts cartoon and collect all kinds of Peanuts-related merchandises and books. My huge collection is still on display in three cupboards at my home but i have stopped collecting them and am thinking of giving them away (except the books).
So, i am not a person who keeps to a hobby for very long, well, at least not for life. I seem to get tired of doing something repeatedly after a while, and of course some can say that this is a lack of perseverance in my character. Maybe, even though the same does not seem to be applicable to the way i approach my study, work and past love life.
Anyway, besides being a Peanuts collector, another thing i have not given up (yet) for years is blogging. That is actually quite unexpected.
I started this blog back in year 2005 and i have written several times about why i started blogging and why i continue to do so even though i've considered stopping it. I am not gonna repeat them here, and i would not discount the possibility that i would indeed just stop it altogether, or i may just close this down and open up another one without anyone knowing, or just switch the blog permission to private and restrict it only to my friends.
After all, now blogging is just something i do for... passing time? Hobby? Fun? Entertainment? Seriously, i do not know for sure what it is for anymore.
But i do know what is is NOT - it is not an obligation. If one day i start to feel that blogging is such a drag, or it adds to my unhappiness, then it is time to abandon it. Unlike those famous bloggers who do blogging for a living, or get income and endorsements from their blogs, i do not really get anything material out of it. I did not even bother to add Google AdSense onto it even though it is just a few simple clicks to add it to the blog template. So i should at least not get something negative from it.
The first few years when i started blogging were quite fun. At that time, this online activity became more and more popular in Malaysia. Led by a few prominent bloggers, the blogger community was really active. We even made Christmas and Chinese New Year songs together before, and i befriended a couple of them too though we never met in persons.
Now, if we put aside those blogs with a purpose or for generating income (such as those about politics, technology, food, travels, etc.), many of the bloggers from those days have stopped blogging since years ago. Even those who were very prominent then have been quite lax in updating their blogs and their readerships have also fallen greatly (based on the number of comments they got from their posts). In fact, i have also stopped reading the blogs that i used to follow too. Instead, i follow some famous YouTubers now.
Yes, what have become popular now are FB and YouTube. Blogging is still a popular, if not essential, social media on the Web. Yet, normally majority of the casual social bloggers would not last very long, especially those who write random content about their personal lives unless you are a celebrity.
The thing is this - people need motivation to continue doing something. The motivation can be anything, whether it is money, recognition, joy, hope, anticipation of those, or whatever that floats your boat. We gotta get something positive out of the thing we do, or at least have the hope that we will get it eventually, in order to sustain it. If all we get are just miseries, then we won't be able to last long - of course unless you are into the S&M thingy, then it is another topic altogether.
Once, i got myself into a little bit of trouble because i wrote something about a volunteering work and, unbeknownst to me, i was supposed to keep absolutely hush-hush about it. That incident actually served as a negative reinforcement for me and for a second i thought about quitting this blog. I wrote about it and why i still continued on with blogging in this post.
Casual bloggers do not really get much sustainable motivation from their blogs. What normally motivate us are our friends who read our blogs and the interest in writing. Well, at least it is so for me.
FB may be a place to post updates about my life, but i do not normally write deep and long thoughts there. It is actually not really a platform meant for such purpose anyway (despite the Notes feature). Only a selected few who know me in person know about this blog; those are close friends whom i want them to know about some of my inner thoughts and who know me so well and understand that what i put on my blog is simply a tiny glimpse, and sometimes somewhat distorted persona, of the real me. Sometimes during gathering with those close friends, we would talk about what i wrote on my blog and even the comments from some unknown readers. This can be a motivation for me to continue writing.
As for the other FB friends, this blog is to be kept away from them, as they are just casual acquaintances whom i do not want them to really know about my deep thoughts or my pain from the past.
You may be asking: why make this blog public and open myself up to the people whom i do not know then? Well, the reason may be contradicting and hard to grasp.
You see, i do write about stuff that i want random people to read about, and i do want more people to read my writing. Yet, the unknown readers are random strangers, and strangers do not matter to me and do not affect my real life. They can read about what i choose to share here on my blog and form an opinion of me, but those opinions do not really matter because, well, they are strangers.
So, what really prompted this long rambling this time 'round?
Over these few weeks, sometimes when i received emails from Blogger on the comments, i got this question popped up in my head, "since when did i step on someone's toe?" (“诶，我是招谁惹谁了啊？”).
I seldom reply comments, as sometimes i forget after reading the comments in my emails instead of on my blog, or i intend to write about it in future post, or i simply couldn't be bothered. If someone is to throw pies at me through the blog comments, well, i do not really get dirty in real person and hence the more i do not bother to retort.
I don't do cyber spat, as it is a waste of time and energy (even though i have a lot of both now while idling at home). Sometimes certain remarks and words can be a sore to the eyes and incite an immediate feeling of indignation, but there is a reason for the birth of the abbreviation "DNFTT" (do google for it if you do not know what it is).
Even though i can come up with hundreds of responses to counter the remarks and may even almost want to do so on impulse, what i eventually really did was just a snicker, a shrug and a soft utterance to myself, "whatever". I am not gonna respond to each and every single spiteful comment in order to explain myself to a random stranger. What i am doing now is really just a single one-off response here.
I have an analogy here, a bad one perhaps. You go to a restaurant and everything there is bad - the food is awful, the service is horrendous and the prices is exorbitant. Would you choose not to go there anymore for the rest of your life, or would you still continue patronising it and then complain about it every single time?
You know, you do have a choice and freedom not to read the crap i write, as much as you have a choice and freedom to continue commenting, and as much as i have a choice and freedom to do whatever i want with my blog. The bottom line is this - this is my space and i can do whatever i want, whenever i want it. For all you know, i can even just publish a post with a single sentence that means nothing, and that is still my blog and the way i like it.
When i was in kindergarten, i collected stamps. Now i do not know where those stamps are anymore.
When i was in primary school, i collected nice letterhead and envelopes. Now those papers and envelopes are deep in my drawers and i use them to scribble notes.
When i was in high school, i learnt guitar for a year and now i do not know how to play it anymore. I was in the photography society (during those days with film camera) but now i don't even own a DSLR and do not take particularly good photos.
I had taken swimming classes before but i didn't complete the lessons and so i do not know how to swim even till today. I had attempted to learn cycling before but did not manage to pick it up and so i do not know how to cycle.
I am a fan of Peanuts cartoon and collect all kinds of Peanuts-related merchandises and books. My huge collection is still on display in three cupboards at my home but i have stopped collecting them and am thinking of giving them away (except the books).
So, i am not a person who keeps to a hobby for very long, well, at least not for life. I seem to get tired of doing something repeatedly after a while, and of course some can say that this is a lack of perseverance in my character. Maybe, even though the same does not seem to be applicable to the way i approach my study, work and past love life.
Anyway, besides being a Peanuts collector, another thing i have not given up (yet) for years is blogging. That is actually quite unexpected.
I started this blog back in year 2005 and i have written several times about why i started blogging and why i continue to do so even though i've considered stopping it. I am not gonna repeat them here, and i would not discount the possibility that i would indeed just stop it altogether, or i may just close this down and open up another one without anyone knowing, or just switch the blog permission to private and restrict it only to my friends.
After all, now blogging is just something i do for... passing time? Hobby? Fun? Entertainment? Seriously, i do not know for sure what it is for anymore.
But i do know what is is NOT - it is not an obligation. If one day i start to feel that blogging is such a drag, or it adds to my unhappiness, then it is time to abandon it. Unlike those famous bloggers who do blogging for a living, or get income and endorsements from their blogs, i do not really get anything material out of it. I did not even bother to add Google AdSense onto it even though it is just a few simple clicks to add it to the blog template. So i should at least not get something negative from it.
The first few years when i started blogging were quite fun. At that time, this online activity became more and more popular in Malaysia. Led by a few prominent bloggers, the blogger community was really active. We even made Christmas and Chinese New Year songs together before, and i befriended a couple of them too though we never met in persons.
Now, if we put aside those blogs with a purpose or for generating income (such as those about politics, technology, food, travels, etc.), many of the bloggers from those days have stopped blogging since years ago. Even those who were very prominent then have been quite lax in updating their blogs and their readerships have also fallen greatly (based on the number of comments they got from their posts). In fact, i have also stopped reading the blogs that i used to follow too. Instead, i follow some famous YouTubers now.
Yes, what have become popular now are FB and YouTube. Blogging is still a popular, if not essential, social media on the Web. Yet, normally majority of the casual social bloggers would not last very long, especially those who write random content about their personal lives unless you are a celebrity.
The thing is this - people need motivation to continue doing something. The motivation can be anything, whether it is money, recognition, joy, hope, anticipation of those, or whatever that floats your boat. We gotta get something positive out of the thing we do, or at least have the hope that we will get it eventually, in order to sustain it. If all we get are just miseries, then we won't be able to last long - of course unless you are into the S&M thingy, then it is another topic altogether.
Once, i got myself into a little bit of trouble because i wrote something about a volunteering work and, unbeknownst to me, i was supposed to keep absolutely hush-hush about it. That incident actually served as a negative reinforcement for me and for a second i thought about quitting this blog. I wrote about it and why i still continued on with blogging in this post.
Casual bloggers do not really get much sustainable motivation from their blogs. What normally motivate us are our friends who read our blogs and the interest in writing. Well, at least it is so for me.
FB may be a place to post updates about my life, but i do not normally write deep and long thoughts there. It is actually not really a platform meant for such purpose anyway (despite the Notes feature). Only a selected few who know me in person know about this blog; those are close friends whom i want them to know about some of my inner thoughts and who know me so well and understand that what i put on my blog is simply a tiny glimpse, and sometimes somewhat distorted persona, of the real me. Sometimes during gathering with those close friends, we would talk about what i wrote on my blog and even the comments from some unknown readers. This can be a motivation for me to continue writing.
As for the other FB friends, this blog is to be kept away from them, as they are just casual acquaintances whom i do not want them to really know about my deep thoughts or my pain from the past.
You may be asking: why make this blog public and open myself up to the people whom i do not know then? Well, the reason may be contradicting and hard to grasp.
You see, i do write about stuff that i want random people to read about, and i do want more people to read my writing. Yet, the unknown readers are random strangers, and strangers do not matter to me and do not affect my real life. They can read about what i choose to share here on my blog and form an opinion of me, but those opinions do not really matter because, well, they are strangers.
So, what really prompted this long rambling this time 'round?
Over these few weeks, sometimes when i received emails from Blogger on the comments, i got this question popped up in my head, "since when did i step on someone's toe?" (“诶，我是招谁惹谁了啊？”).
I seldom reply comments, as sometimes i forget after reading the comments in my emails instead of on my blog, or i intend to write about it in future post, or i simply couldn't be bothered. If someone is to throw pies at me through the blog comments, well, i do not really get dirty in real person and hence the more i do not bother to retort.
I don't do cyber spat, as it is a waste of time and energy (even though i have a lot of both now while idling at home). Sometimes certain remarks and words can be a sore to the eyes and incite an immediate feeling of indignation, but there is a reason for the birth of the abbreviation "DNFTT" (do google for it if you do not know what it is).
Even though i can come up with hundreds of responses to counter the remarks and may even almost want to do so on impulse, what i eventually really did was just a snicker, a shrug and a soft utterance to myself, "whatever". I am not gonna respond to each and every single spiteful comment in order to explain myself to a random stranger. What i am doing now is really just a single one-off response here.
I have an analogy here, a bad one perhaps. You go to a restaurant and everything there is bad - the food is awful, the service is horrendous and the prices is exorbitant. Would you choose not to go there anymore for the rest of your life, or would you still continue patronising it and then complain about it every single time?
You know, you do have a choice and freedom not to read the crap i write, as much as you have a choice and freedom to continue commenting, and as much as i have a choice and freedom to do whatever i want with my blog. The bottom line is this - this is my space and i can do whatever i want, whenever i want it. For all you know, i can even just publish a post with a single sentence that means nothing, and that is still my blog and the way i like it.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 4:02 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
Year 2005 was explosive year of blogging, indeed many famous bloggers sprung up during that time. It's really hurtful and disgusting to have own chamber of thought nobly share to other readers being hijacked to incite, provoke insensitively. Words, words, mere words? Just because being accessible to public does not make it opens to criticism, especially unsolicited and unaffect to others livelihood. Respect others as being respected.
Pinpin, please don't be discouraged to stop writing. Write when you feel to write, to share experience and insights you wanted to share. And you are right this is certainly not obligation, you are not to entertain and it is your readers who are the ones enjoy your writing. Do keep that in mind, gal.
By the way, you shouldn't have stopped playing guitar. If you keep practicing, play the song you like and if possible compose songs with simple chords, you would be less moody. Let me guess, you shelved the guitar, hence does not have the itch of it. If only you let it on sight ... I'm actually a learner (at very beginner's level), too bad that work and procrastination got into their way .. Excuse huh :)
Stay positive pinpin.don't write if you are in foul mood, it frames the ugliness instead of your true character. Wish you happiness and success in upcoming career, oh first, your newly signed up course. Cheers :) -hy- , at 4/10/12 7:25 am
Thursday, July 14, 2011
New look with bugs
Here's what happened yesterday.
I left office at around 10pm yesterday and then decided that i was not gonna switch on my laptop since it was late already. So i decided to blog using my iPhone.
First i typed out a post titled "Meetings" and talked about how hectic it was at work, with most of my time spent on back-to-back meetings. After half-an-hour of typing with much difficulty on iPhone, i clicked Publish and then it returned an error page. I clicked the Back button and it went back to a blank post. I click on my post list and there was no draft of that post either.
Fed up, i typed a new post ranting about how i lost my post and was not gonna re-typed what i had wanted to post earlier. I clicked Publish and again was hit with an error page. The second post was again no where to be found.
I was so pissed and hence i typed out the last post with my email and the published it through the email. (Yes, Blogger does have this blogging via email facility.)
The problem was with this new dashboard. Blogger revamped the user interface and it has a totally new look now. Somehow, this new interface does not work so well on iPhone browser (i was not using any Apps to blog but accessing it through the browser). It seems unable to publish any post successfully.
In addition, the new design also removed the auto-saving function. Previously, the post would auto-save by itself every few minutes as we were editing it. Hence if anything happened, we would have a draft in our post list. Yet, now it won't do it automatically anymore, and the worst part is even if we wanna do it manually by clicking the Save button, it would just return an error message. This means that we can't save any draft anymore; i just gotta copy and save it in Notepad or something.
Great job, Blogger. I would have loved the new look if you didn't have the bugs to come with it.
I left office at around 10pm yesterday and then decided that i was not gonna switch on my laptop since it was late already. So i decided to blog using my iPhone.
First i typed out a post titled "Meetings" and talked about how hectic it was at work, with most of my time spent on back-to-back meetings. After half-an-hour of typing with much difficulty on iPhone, i clicked Publish and then it returned an error page. I clicked the Back button and it went back to a blank post. I click on my post list and there was no draft of that post either.
Fed up, i typed a new post ranting about how i lost my post and was not gonna re-typed what i had wanted to post earlier. I clicked Publish and again was hit with an error page. The second post was again no where to be found.
I was so pissed and hence i typed out the last post with my email and the published it through the email. (Yes, Blogger does have this blogging via email facility.)
The problem was with this new dashboard. Blogger revamped the user interface and it has a totally new look now. Somehow, this new interface does not work so well on iPhone browser (i was not using any Apps to blog but accessing it through the browser). It seems unable to publish any post successfully.
In addition, the new design also removed the auto-saving function. Previously, the post would auto-save by itself every few minutes as we were editing it. Hence if anything happened, we would have a draft in our post list. Yet, now it won't do it automatically anymore, and the worst part is even if we wanna do it manually by clicking the Save button, it would just return an error message. This means that we can't save any draft anymore; i just gotta copy and save it in Notepad or something.
Great job, Blogger. I would have loved the new look if you didn't have the bugs to come with it.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 3:47 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
if only google had hired you as its IT consultant then none of this nonsense would happen, haha :)
oh, once i typed long explanatory email and just before it got sent out the webmail hanged. and unlike you to have option to be pissed not to rewrite, i have to type the content all over again ..... sigh, what an unfortunate incident that caused your blog readers to miss another story of yours :( - hopefully it was a toned down rant compared to the past ones, aha. apple and google indeed don't get well along, perhaps you should try to blog with the android mini xperia (sarcasm). don't get angry hor.
cool down, another 13 days to go for your grand trip! so things must turn out to be good, it should really be that way. and don't stress too much yourself. cheers. , at 14/7/11 4:28 am
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Stupid new dashboard
I typed a post and then lost it, two times in a row.
Damn you Blogger. This has totally spoilt my mood to blog for today.
Before swearing words start pouring out of me, I'm gonna call it a day now.
Damn you Blogger. This has totally spoilt my mood to blog for today.
Before swearing words start pouring out of me, I'm gonna call it a day now.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 3:49 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
wah, like that also can? seems to be like a happy blog turned sour, sigh, can't imagine pinpin would spew profanities .... got ipad2 already? oh wait, apple and google don't mix, there's war going on.
it supposed a lot things to blog about for the past week i guess :) but never mind lah, will still stay tune for tomorrow. remind 14 days before your grand trip lor! cheers, hope tomorrow gonna be a great day :) , at 13/7/11 4:38 am
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
To stop or not to stop
I gotta admit that the thought crossed my mind, again. Uh huh, the thought of shutting down this blog and stop blogging once and for all.
Somehow, i found it harder to blog nowadays. I do not want to say that it's because i'm busy at work and do not have the time or energy. Even though it's true to a certain extent, it would sound too much like an excuse.
After all, my friend once said, "时间就像乳沟，挤一挤总还是有的" (translation: time is like cleavage, squeeze and there will be some). And indeed, with all those magic push-up bra in the market, one can never fail to squeeze out the deep-v; so really, why i can't do the same for time?
That's because there's no magic bra for the time in our life. Everyone is born with different sizes of breasts, but all of us are given the same number of hours in a day. The difference is just that some people have lesser things to do, or maybe they are better in managing time. Whatever it is, i do need a magic bra for time, and a super push-up one.
Back to why i was thinking of stop blogging. Well, recently i found myself unable to think well and having difficulties in articulating my thoughts in words. Something in me is slipping away, but i'm not sure what and why. I feel that it may not be so much about losing a certain flair that i think i have; rather, it may be a realisation that i actually do not have it at all to begin with.
That can be scary, i tell you. When you are at a loss of what you have or do not have, what you can do or cannot do, and what you are good at or what you are not, you will just feel apprehensive of the future, of your self-worth, or even of your very existence. You fear the possibility that one day you would finally realise you are just a good-for-nothing who will forever amount to nothing and will eventually die alone, sad and broken.
In case you are wondering what the heck am i babbling about here, frankly, i do not know for sure too. This is precisely why i do not feel like blogging anymore - i can either fill this blog with posts like a diary that simply documents the boring events of my life, or flood it with nonsensical thoughts that are often dark and negative.
Oh well, perhaps all i need is just a good rest. Maybe i am just tired.
We shall see.
Somehow, i found it harder to blog nowadays. I do not want to say that it's because i'm busy at work and do not have the time or energy. Even though it's true to a certain extent, it would sound too much like an excuse.
After all, my friend once said, "时间就像乳沟，挤一挤总还是有的" (translation: time is like cleavage, squeeze and there will be some). And indeed, with all those magic push-up bra in the market, one can never fail to squeeze out the deep-v; so really, why i can't do the same for time?
That's because there's no magic bra for the time in our life. Everyone is born with different sizes of breasts, but all of us are given the same number of hours in a day. The difference is just that some people have lesser things to do, or maybe they are better in managing time. Whatever it is, i do need a magic bra for time, and a super push-up one.
Back to why i was thinking of stop blogging. Well, recently i found myself unable to think well and having difficulties in articulating my thoughts in words. Something in me is slipping away, but i'm not sure what and why. I feel that it may not be so much about losing a certain flair that i think i have; rather, it may be a realisation that i actually do not have it at all to begin with.
That can be scary, i tell you. When you are at a loss of what you have or do not have, what you can do or cannot do, and what you are good at or what you are not, you will just feel apprehensive of the future, of your self-worth, or even of your very existence. You fear the possibility that one day you would finally realise you are just a good-for-nothing who will forever amount to nothing and will eventually die alone, sad and broken.
In case you are wondering what the heck am i babbling about here, frankly, i do not know for sure too. This is precisely why i do not feel like blogging anymore - i can either fill this blog with posts like a diary that simply documents the boring events of my life, or flood it with nonsensical thoughts that are often dark and negative.
Oh well, perhaps all i need is just a good rest. Maybe i am just tired.
We shall see.
Labels: blogging, introspection
| Cogitated @ 3:46 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
dear pinpin, hope that this is just one another low spirited post that can be brushed off and all forgotten in the next day (and when you are reading this, you already have forgotten about yesterday). Did something happen this day that causes you to have this thought? i've always hoped that if this blog indeed to end, it would be something about eternal happiness, something with all's well end's well but certainly it is NOT something like this. Life's dull anyway, especially working life, with stress and pressure somemore. But it's for us to add color into it, to turn it around to make it interesting and filled with laughters. there's no mistake that you have sweetness in you and talent in expressing thoughts (you won prize for writing too, isn't it ..) , which have gained you many friends, admires and respects from colleagues, teammates and blog readers from afar. even cabbies like to talk to you, minus the one forbid you eating in his car. so, please don't give up on yourself. it's just that you have not back to normal and the actual pinpin as she used to be, yet. and i'm looking forward that she will bounce back with laughters to be shared with us all. and, come on, there are so many things yet to be filled in this space. what about the long queues for your travelogs, especially the recent one you lamented how short it was. and the chrismas blast with your colleagues. and tricks working on your SLR. and of course there are more good things yet to come. certainly there are fun incidents in office and with friends that should be expressed in writing and can bring smiles when reading them back and extinguish those melancholy mood. remember this will be a great year, and please put this in mind. perhaps, writing happy things will slowly and eventually put away those silly thoughts of being lonely. yawn, i've been typing too long again. i'm not a great writer like you, thus i don't think i can really inspire and leave much impact on you. again and again, always stay positive, and cheers. -HY- , at 22/2/11 7:15 am
天生我才必有用。
再无用的材也可当材烧。
再无才的人也因为他的无才才显现别人的有才。当全世界的人都是有才的人的时候，又得去分--大才，中才，小才等等，那还不如不分吧！
好乱哦！！！！ ^-^ , at 23/2/11 6:51 pm
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Outstanding travel logs
Ok, if anyone is waiting for my posts on the cruise, then i guess i'll have to disappoint you.
Before you even let out a big "HUH??!!", do read an old post that i had written before about blogging travel logs.
Yes, writing travel logs takes time; in fact, lots of time. Getting ready the pictures and narrating the details can be quite a chore. (Hmm, perhaps i should do a recording instead and just post up the video or sound.)
And nowadays, i often got distracted when there are other stuff that comes along, which i wanna rant about, and then will procrastinate on blogging the travel logs until i forgot about it.
Hmm, well, to be exact, i didn't really forget about it; what i forget is actually the details of the trip, and in the end it will end up with just photos and some short descriptions, if and when i finally get to it.
Now, let me recall the trips that i have yet to blog about (or blogged only half-way through), in chronological order - a business trip to HK in year 2007 that i never finished writing; business trips to Taiwan and Australia in year 2008; to USA, HK and London in year 2009; to USA again and Thailand at the beginning of this year; and of course the cruise last week.
So you see, if each is to take a queue number, i will probably only get to the cruise, say... 5 years later perhaps?
Oh wait, besides the travel logs, i also have lots and lots of other blog posts that are long outstanding. Some are actually in my draft (i.e. wrote half-way and then moved on to other things) and have been staying there for months or even years, while some i've not even started at all. Alright, i'll probably blog about the cruise 8 years later - if i'm still around.
Ah, not to forget too that we now have FB. So i tend to spend time uploading the pictures there, and doing it here has somewhat become the second priority. After all, i don't think my friends are really interested in all the minute details of my trip. The pictures would say a thousand words, and of course, i would add a short description too to make it a thousand and one words.
Hence, in a way, FB becomes the platform now for me to share the travel pictures and some daily routines with the people who know me personally, whereas this blog remains as the place for my rant, bigotry opinions and nonsense. It is the place where my friends will get to know a different side of me, and sometimes the inner side too.
This is the time to stop and marvel: technology is great!
Before you even let out a big "HUH??!!", do read an old post that i had written before about blogging travel logs.
Yes, writing travel logs takes time; in fact, lots of time. Getting ready the pictures and narrating the details can be quite a chore. (Hmm, perhaps i should do a recording instead and just post up the video or sound.)
And nowadays, i often got distracted when there are other stuff that comes along, which i wanna rant about, and then will procrastinate on blogging the travel logs until i forgot about it.
Hmm, well, to be exact, i didn't really forget about it; what i forget is actually the details of the trip, and in the end it will end up with just photos and some short descriptions, if and when i finally get to it.
Now, let me recall the trips that i have yet to blog about (or blogged only half-way through), in chronological order - a business trip to HK in year 2007 that i never finished writing; business trips to Taiwan and Australia in year 2008; to USA, HK and London in year 2009; to USA again and Thailand at the beginning of this year; and of course the cruise last week.
So you see, if each is to take a queue number, i will probably only get to the cruise, say... 5 years later perhaps?
Oh wait, besides the travel logs, i also have lots and lots of other blog posts that are long outstanding. Some are actually in my draft (i.e. wrote half-way and then moved on to other things) and have been staying there for months or even years, while some i've not even started at all. Alright, i'll probably blog about the cruise 8 years later - if i'm still around.
Ah, not to forget too that we now have FB. So i tend to spend time uploading the pictures there, and doing it here has somewhat become the second priority. After all, i don't think my friends are really interested in all the minute details of my trip. The pictures would say a thousand words, and of course, i would add a short description too to make it a thousand and one words.
Hence, in a way, FB becomes the platform now for me to share the travel pictures and some daily routines with the people who know me personally, whereas this blog remains as the place for my rant, bigotry opinions and nonsense. It is the place where my friends will get to know a different side of me, and sometimes the inner side too.
This is the time to stop and marvel: technology is great!
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 5:32 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
HUH! why like that one? good good stuff shared to your fb friends but not to your blog fans, what-ler, really disappointed-lor .... i thought you would have proud to show off your photography skill, especially with the new toy of yours and coupled with onboard of nice cruiser. gee, given of that reason of yours to blog, the trip must be a good and pleasant one, until you just share to your close friends only. selfish ....
ok ok, enough of the crap, so you managed to learn any trick or two from the master chef? yup, technology is great, and i'm so so fortunate to live in this internet age! don't you too? cheers. , at 24/11/10 3:03 am
http://img602.imageshack.us/img602/5535/msg01.jpg
fb is getting serious business .... cheers. , at 7/12/10 9:57 pm
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Blog needs facelift
I think it is really time for me to revamp my blog design.
First of all, some of the image links aren't working anymore.
This is because the free image hosting website where i placed all these images had suspended my account after i've not logged on for half-a-year. I would have to re-upload all those images (if i still have them) to Blogger but that would take time. And frankly, i'm too lazy to do it.
Then, i also noticed that the archives for some of the months aren't displaying correctly. The posts for these months are not being displayed in full and are cut-off in mid-month.
Lastly, which is also the most important of all, i've been using this design since the start of my blog in year 2005. It is still in the old template without all the new features that were added by Blogger over these few years. Furthermore, it is also probably time for me to give it a serious makeover.
Well, with my limited artistic talent (or the lack thereof) you should know that there is no way i could ever come up with my own design from scratch. I will have to search the Web for some free design templates that are basic and neat (some say dull). I do not like those fancy but hard to read design. My blog should be just like me, simple and straight-to-the-point. Basically, it should just be minimalist.
I do not know when this will happen, given my busy schedule and low-spirit. Oh well, it happens when it happens, and i'm sure those who visit this blog will be the first to know - when you see a different look on this blog one day.
First of all, some of the image links aren't working anymore.
This is because the free image hosting website where i placed all these images had suspended my account after i've not logged on for half-a-year. I would have to re-upload all those images (if i still have them) to Blogger but that would take time. And frankly, i'm too lazy to do it.
Then, i also noticed that the archives for some of the months aren't displaying correctly. The posts for these months are not being displayed in full and are cut-off in mid-month.
Lastly, which is also the most important of all, i've been using this design since the start of my blog in year 2005. It is still in the old template without all the new features that were added by Blogger over these few years. Furthermore, it is also probably time for me to give it a serious makeover.
Well, with my limited artistic talent (or the lack thereof) you should know that there is no way i could ever come up with my own design from scratch. I will have to search the Web for some free design templates that are basic and neat (some say dull). I do not like those fancy but hard to read design. My blog should be just like me, simple and straight-to-the-point. Basically, it should just be minimalist.
I do not know when this will happen, given my busy schedule and low-spirit. Oh well, it happens when it happens, and i'm sure those who visit this blog will be the first to know - when you see a different look on this blog one day.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 4:51 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
Being minimalist and simplicity are good since it is the content that makes the quality the blog, especially with your great writing skill (and now it's my turn to jealous, grrrrr!). just like movies, so what with the fancy visual effects when it is great story and impressive acting that make the ticket worth the money. really like your this kind of thinking, great!
2+ years ago, your blog's emoicon was happy with big smile. i wonder the icon if to be put up again, would it be happy smiling as it used to be ..... stay cheers, be positive and keep it up! , at 14/9/10 3:16 am
Friday, July 09, 2010
Mobile blogging
Ok, so it worked. The post did get published.
However, the alignment seems to be out There are line breaks in between the sentences. And I wonder if there's a way to add in labels for the posts.
I gotta figure out how to fix that.
However, the alignment seems to be out There are line breaks in between the sentences. And I wonder if there's a way to add in labels for the posts.
I gotta figure out how to fix that.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 1:25 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Some thoughts on blogging
I missed the birthday of my blog on 12-June. Actually i did remember it, but was not in the mood to blog at that time.
So let's take this post on my random thoughts on blogging as the obligatory birthday post, albeit 10 days late.
Beside the first post, i've written 3 blog birthday posts over these 5 years of my life as a blogger. The exception was last year when i was too engulfed in the sorrow that i didn't really bother about it at all.
When this blog was one year old, i counted the number of posts i had published. As of today, excluding this post, the published posts count stands at 1403. I don't know about what you think, but that's actually pretty amazing to me.
In year 2007, i expressed my gratitude to my friends and the silent readers who had kept me blogging.
Then on the following year, i was astonished for still being around and yet also at the same time declared that i shall continue to be around despite my busy lifestyle.
This blog has been a very casual place where i spew nonsense, write crappy stuff, share my thoughts and opinions, talk about the uneventful nitty-gritties of my daily life, be a bitch and rant about things, and let the insensible side of me releasing the stress, sorrow, resentment, anger, and whatever negative pent-up emotions that i may have inside of me that would otherwise make me an unpleasant person in real life.
The ability to write and share freely (and responsibly of course) is what still keep me here after 5 years since i started my first post on this blog. In fact, this has been a healing mechanism for me as well during the most difficult times of my life. I don't think i could have gone through the ordeal if it's not for this blog that enables me to express all the agony and pain in words.
But now, i do know that someone is scrutinising this space now. I gotta be even more careful in my words and what i write about from now on.
Yet, you can never know that what appears to be harmless to you may actually be deemed unacceptable to others. We have seen a lot of such cases on the celebrities, whether singes, actors, politicians, writers, or famous bloggers and prominent YouTubers. They said something without any ill intention, or may even just be a joke, and then they get all kinds of attacks, criticisms, or even legal issues.
The irony of this is that i'm not even famous or anything, and i gotta have the same concerns as well. I guess this is somewhat similar to the question that people may ask you, "when no one is looking, will you do certain things that you would not normally do in public?" The answer is actually obvious, especially to Christians, because we know that there is always SOMEONE looking, whether we see HIM or not. Just that we may often forget about it.
If you do not see the connection there, never mind. Forget about it.
Looking back, there have been many occasions that i've contemplated stop blogging totally. That was when i was busy with life and work, or feeling pointless in blogging when we have Facebook now to keep our friends updated about ourselves, which was one of the reasons why i started a blog 5 years ago. As for another reason, i.e. my passion in writing, the fire also seems to have gradually diminished as i grow older and am caught up in the realities of life.
There were also friends who said to me that it is "dangerous" to share my personal life publicly, even though i've somewhat remained semi-anonymous on this blog over all these years. I could never imagine what possible "dangers" would come my way. Yes, i know that it's not difficult to track me down if someone really wants to do so, but i couldn't understand why anyone would wanna do that at all. I mean, what i write doesn't carry any weight; what i think doesn't really influence anyone; what i believe doesn't really change anything. After all, there are over millions of bloggers out there and indefinitely growing number of web pages on the Internet. So this blog is not even a small fish in a pond, or whatever you call it; it's more like a micro-organism in the open ocean.
But i kinda understand it now. So maybe one day, i will indeed stop blogging. When will that day be? I do not know.
As i've mentioned before, those who read the crap i write are mostly friends in real life. As for the strangers (beside the one monitoring this blog), i seriously do not know why you are reading this at all when there are a lot more interesting stuff out there to read about.
Whatever it is, thanks for being around.
So let's take this post on my random thoughts on blogging as the obligatory birthday post, albeit 10 days late.
Beside the first post, i've written 3 blog birthday posts over these 5 years of my life as a blogger. The exception was last year when i was too engulfed in the sorrow that i didn't really bother about it at all.
When this blog was one year old, i counted the number of posts i had published. As of today, excluding this post, the published posts count stands at 1403. I don't know about what you think, but that's actually pretty amazing to me.
In year 2007, i expressed my gratitude to my friends and the silent readers who had kept me blogging.
Then on the following year, i was astonished for still being around and yet also at the same time declared that i shall continue to be around despite my busy lifestyle.
This blog has been a very casual place where i spew nonsense, write crappy stuff, share my thoughts and opinions, talk about the uneventful nitty-gritties of my daily life, be a bitch and rant about things, and let the insensible side of me releasing the stress, sorrow, resentment, anger, and whatever negative pent-up emotions that i may have inside of me that would otherwise make me an unpleasant person in real life.
The ability to write and share freely (and responsibly of course) is what still keep me here after 5 years since i started my first post on this blog. In fact, this has been a healing mechanism for me as well during the most difficult times of my life. I don't think i could have gone through the ordeal if it's not for this blog that enables me to express all the agony and pain in words.
But now, i do know that someone is scrutinising this space now. I gotta be even more careful in my words and what i write about from now on.
Yet, you can never know that what appears to be harmless to you may actually be deemed unacceptable to others. We have seen a lot of such cases on the celebrities, whether singes, actors, politicians, writers, or famous bloggers and prominent YouTubers. They said something without any ill intention, or may even just be a joke, and then they get all kinds of attacks, criticisms, or even legal issues.
The irony of this is that i'm not even famous or anything, and i gotta have the same concerns as well. I guess this is somewhat similar to the question that people may ask you, "when no one is looking, will you do certain things that you would not normally do in public?" The answer is actually obvious, especially to Christians, because we know that there is always SOMEONE looking, whether we see HIM or not. Just that we may often forget about it.
If you do not see the connection there, never mind. Forget about it.
Looking back, there have been many occasions that i've contemplated stop blogging totally. That was when i was busy with life and work, or feeling pointless in blogging when we have Facebook now to keep our friends updated about ourselves, which was one of the reasons why i started a blog 5 years ago. As for another reason, i.e. my passion in writing, the fire also seems to have gradually diminished as i grow older and am caught up in the realities of life.
There were also friends who said to me that it is "dangerous" to share my personal life publicly, even though i've somewhat remained semi-anonymous on this blog over all these years. I could never imagine what possible "dangers" would come my way. Yes, i know that it's not difficult to track me down if someone really wants to do so, but i couldn't understand why anyone would wanna do that at all. I mean, what i write doesn't carry any weight; what i think doesn't really influence anyone; what i believe doesn't really change anything. After all, there are over millions of bloggers out there and indefinitely growing number of web pages on the Internet. So this blog is not even a small fish in a pond, or whatever you call it; it's more like a micro-organism in the open ocean.
But i kinda understand it now. So maybe one day, i will indeed stop blogging. When will that day be? I do not know.
As i've mentioned before, those who read the crap i write are mostly friends in real life. As for the strangers (beside the one monitoring this blog), i seriously do not know why you are reading this at all when there are a lot more interesting stuff out there to read about.
Whatever it is, thanks for being around.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 1:47 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/7733/stopblog.jpg
i apologize if i have created troubles and problems to you. by the way, blogs can be set to private, if you prefer to dedicate your posts to close friends.
cheers. , at 24/6/10 5:52 am
Ah, angel, why did you apologise? My friends and i love your drawings. We found you to be very talented and witty too. You have not caused me any troubles, and i do appreciate and enjoy your drawings and comments. In fact, we look forward to it, wondering what you would come up next with your creativity.
I think you have misundestood me. When i talked about the strangers who may be "monitoring" this blog, i am referring to people from the authority. From my blog stat, i know someone from the government checked up my blog (probably after someone informed them about it) and then told me to remove whatever that were not allowed to be written. I wasn't talking about you.
And i was just making a joke when i said i wondered why any strangers would wanna read about my life and thoughts. Actually i do read other blogs too, and those bloggers are strangers to me as well. I guess getting a glimpse into another person's life and mind (if the blogger is being honest) kinda gives us a different perspective to certain things in life and makes us think and look hard at ourselves.
Actually my friends do not really leave many comments on my blog all the while because we would sometimes talk about our thoughts through email or when we meet up in real life. So it wasn't because of you... you do not have such huge influence on them. :P
Oh, and lastly, i know that blog can be set to private, but i keep it open because i do want people other than my friends to read what i write as well. I would not blog about things that i cannot reveal to outsiders anyway.
PinPin 彬彬, at 24/6/10 2:02 pm
ah, thanks! you have heartened me up. i thought i have made someone i admire sad, and this made me quite sad too of being childish and ignorant .... but now i'm vindicated :)
as for the comic yesterday, that was quite a rush - i skipped toning (and slept late too). you have showed example of being perfectionist in work, but i failed to do so yesterday :(. anyway, all the best and cheers. don't be moody lor. , at 25/6/10 4:08 am
Friend, cheer up.
We enjoy your blog very much.
You din mean to harm anybody.
They will understand it eventually.
Don't let this event damper you.
Ganbattekudasai p(^o^)q
And, Pin's angel. We enjoy your drawings very much too. Thanks for being with her always. , at 26/6/10 10:34 pm
http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3028/animate2.gif
http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/4435/animate3e.gif
cheers :) , at 2/7/10 1:53 am
Thursday, April 15, 2010
My troop
Thank you angel again for the comments and funny drawing.
So the middle one with the glasses must be me, and the lady in purple is my pretty girl subordinate. Hmm, actually i don't usually wear glasses to work, as i wear contact lenses. Nonetheless, it does somewhat resemble the real people in some ways.
Anyway, it's kinda funny thinking about a troop flagging my name. If this does happen, my boss is so gonna freak out.
But then, it would definitely be quite a sight.
So the middle one with the glasses must be me, and the lady in purple is my pretty girl subordinate. Hmm, actually i don't usually wear glasses to work, as i wear contact lenses. Nonetheless, it does somewhat resemble the real people in some ways.
Anyway, it's kinda funny thinking about a troop flagging my name. If this does happen, my boss is so gonna freak out.
But then, it would definitely be quite a sight.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 4:38 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
oh no! my drawing skill is really bad - it's supposed all of them are your subordinates! i guess i have to practise more and polish up the drawing skill then ....
come to think of it, just like the medieval japanese have the armies stick with such banner, maybe you should implement your "soldiers" to carry your "emblem" as part of loyalty and management program ... , at 16/4/10 4:10 am
follow up:
http://www.kimag.es/share/79231393.jpg , at 18/4/10 9:28 pm
Hi anonymous,
Your drawing are good! ym , at 19/4/10 8:23 am
ym: thanks for the compliment of my humble art! i modified one if you want to write something to "inspire" the blogger too :).
http://www.kimag.es/share/7762514.jpg , at 23/4/10 1:58 am
Thursday, April 08, 2010
To an angel
This is to the reader who left me the comment in one of my earlier posts and drew this comic for/about me:
Dear Angel,
After seeing the comics, i was speechless.
Really, what else could i say but a big THANK YOU?
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I'm touched beyond words.
I have no doubt that you are an angel sent by God, to give me a knock in the head, albeit gently. Really, you gotta be my angel, otherwise why would you spend time in drawing such encouraging comics for someone who doesn't matter to you at all in your life?
You are the angel who came to remind me that there are people around who care so much about me even if i am just a stranger. You are the angel who wants me to know that the sorrow that drowns me also sadden the people who stand by me through all these times. You are the angel who wants me to never forget that how i live my life does not merely concern me, but it also affects the people around me.
I can't promise that i will get all well immediately, and please do not expect me to do so either. I will, however, never give up on life, no matter how tough it is. I will make myself a blessing to others despite my own predicament. I will be the strong person whom God has wanted me to be. I will continue striving for happiness even though it seems so far away and even when i'm in the darkest valley, because i shall always remember that there will always be light at the end of the tunnel and up above.
All these, i promise you and everyone else.
And you, my angel, you drew the things i mentioned in my blog before, which shows that you are an avid reader. I am sure that you are not someone i know personally, as i only have one friend who could possibly draw as good as you do, and she would not have the time or energy to do it now, for she has lots of problems of her own too.
Furthermore, if you were any of my friends, you would have known the things in the comics that are different from the real me:
So i imagine that you must be a young lady who is very talented in arts. You have a kind and tender heart. You are a cheerful, positive and introspective person.
And is that sidekick in the comics representing you? You are a cat lover? I am a dog person.
I would have drawn an angel for you to show my gratitude, but then i could not draw at all even if my life depends on it. If you do not believe me, check out my pathetic attempt in drawing Snoopy years ago. My drawing skill has only gotten worse since then, or rather, reduced to none now.
So all i can do is to write you this post, saying thank you and thank you again. You have not only put a smile on my face, but also injected some well needed strength in me.
Lastly, do leave a nickname of any kind when you leave a comment, just so that i know it's you. Perhaps "angel" is a good one.
From the still-melancholy-but-hopeful blogger,
pinpin
Dear Angel,
After seeing the comics, i was speechless.
Really, what else could i say but a big THANK YOU?
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I'm touched beyond words.
I have no doubt that you are an angel sent by God, to give me a knock in the head, albeit gently. Really, you gotta be my angel, otherwise why would you spend time in drawing such encouraging comics for someone who doesn't matter to you at all in your life?
You are the angel who came to remind me that there are people around who care so much about me even if i am just a stranger. You are the angel who wants me to know that the sorrow that drowns me also sadden the people who stand by me through all these times. You are the angel who wants me to never forget that how i live my life does not merely concern me, but it also affects the people around me.
I can't promise that i will get all well immediately, and please do not expect me to do so either. I will, however, never give up on life, no matter how tough it is. I will make myself a blessing to others despite my own predicament. I will be the strong person whom God has wanted me to be. I will continue striving for happiness even though it seems so far away and even when i'm in the darkest valley, because i shall always remember that there will always be light at the end of the tunnel and up above.
All these, i promise you and everyone else.
And you, my angel, you drew the things i mentioned in my blog before, which shows that you are an avid reader. I am sure that you are not someone i know personally, as i only have one friend who could possibly draw as good as you do, and she would not have the time or energy to do it now, for she has lots of problems of her own too.
Furthermore, if you were any of my friends, you would have known the things in the comics that are different from the real me:
- I do not wear anything red, pink or purple.
- I do not wear pyjamas.
- I do not put my hair behind my ears (even though i must say the hairstyle is indeed rather similar)
- My eyes are not so big (even though i do have round round eyes)
- Lastly, i do not have tens or hundreds or thousands of readers. Most who read my crap are the friends who know me in real life, and a few are like yourself, total strangers who strangely keep on reading my nonsense!
So i imagine that you must be a young lady who is very talented in arts. You have a kind and tender heart. You are a cheerful, positive and introspective person.
And is that sidekick in the comics representing you? You are a cat lover? I am a dog person.
I would have drawn an angel for you to show my gratitude, but then i could not draw at all even if my life depends on it. If you do not believe me, check out my pathetic attempt in drawing Snoopy years ago. My drawing skill has only gotten worse since then, or rather, reduced to none now.
So all i can do is to write you this post, saying thank you and thank you again. You have not only put a smile on my face, but also injected some well needed strength in me.
Lastly, do leave a nickname of any kind when you leave a comment, just so that i know it's you. Perhaps "angel" is a good one.
From the still-melancholy-but-hopeful blogger,
pinpin
Labels: blogging, friendship
| Cogitated @ 3:58 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
Thanks! And more importantly, it serves the purpose to bring smiles into you. I felt honored when you dedicated this blog to me, but aren't you sick and supposed to get early sleep. If you do not recover, I will be more angry and regret for putting up the drawing. (Of course I wish some sort of acknowledgement, but never expect to be this "grand". Thank you! Thank you!)
I first came to your blog in 2007 thru google, maybe I was trying to search about life working in Singapore (FYI, saya orang Malaysia). That time I was moody and dejected with office politics, stress, frustrated, being under-appreciated in work, bullied by landlord, lonely, other unhappy stuffs. It was then your blog showed me about introspections, to look things not just on surface, be optimistic and funny when you were picking on ironies, especially the blogs you posted in 2005 - 2007. You're damn good. Regrettably, I paused in 2008, and one day in march 2010 I casually dropped by ...... and .... but ..... no ......
I'm not eloquent, not good at words (in fact it took me 1.5 hr to write this to choose words carefully), and a "half-past-six” comic artist. My simple wishes are that you get well soon (no more crying in middle of the night), and be the cheerful 彬彬 as you used to be (still hoping, but, i understand). Frankly, I'm flattered when you called me "angel" for I'm not benevolent to everyone. But to me, with your eloquence and intelligence and conscience, you don't deserve to be such pathetic. You certainly don't deserve this, and if it's within my capacity and together with other blog readers, i (we) hope can lift you out from the mud. I have this sense that it will get sian when the very same ppl comments "be good", "get well", "be happy", hence i prefer to remain as anon. Bad excuse huh, since i can always changed the nick but i don't want to lie (or you can check i.p anyway). plus, whether the art can attract more other anon readers to give you support and strength that even more effective, at least you will not sian like "ah, angel again" or "only angel".
I wrote too long. so, stay optimistic, be positive and keep moving forward.
and please, don't cry anymore. you must be strong gal! , at 9/4/10 3:56 am
Pin:
U r lucky to have friends who always encourage you. This are all God's blessing. Lots of changes in my life, I did not have time to catch up with your blog. But you look bad. compared to the last time i met you.
I suggest:
1) Cut your hair short, real short like you used to have
2) put on a bit of weight.
3) cheer up.
4) skin is bad too.
don't mean to scare you. Pull yourself up now, you are making your body worst. Not worth to continue life like this. Be my cheerful Pin...: )
Love you always.
DS , at 23/4/10 3:13 pm
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Other outstanding posts
Gosh, that was not easy really, to look back at the pictures and be reminded of the time 贝 and i spent happily together. The tough part lies in knowing that these are the past moments that shall never return nor will repeat again.
Well, at least i've concluded all the outstanding posts that involved us. The rest were all my business trips overseas when i took the chance to go visiting on my own. Yet even though none of the photos has him inside, he was actually with me in my heart where i went. Every place i been to, he was actually part of the memory, whether or not he was physically with me. So he was never absent from any part of my memory.
Of course, he never knew or appreciate that. On the contrary, for him, not all part of his memories had me inside; the past 5 months of his memories were built with that China woman without me in it at all. It was only between them. The memories of the two 贝s had officially ceased on 31-Jan-09, just one day after we returned from BM for the CNY holiday and our Chinese wedding tea ceremony. That was the day he stepped into that evil place of exotic massage center and met that Satan woman for the first time, tempted by her and took the road of no return from then on.
Anyway, back to my outstanding posts. I will surely take the time to slowly complete all the ones on my business trips and visits overseas. Well, now that my life is no longer filled with 贝, 贝, 贝, and i'm stuck in a rented room after work, having no TV or other entertainment, all i could do is either blogging or reading.
(Yes, i know i should join some activities and go out more. I will... eventually.)
Well, at least i've concluded all the outstanding posts that involved us. The rest were all my business trips overseas when i took the chance to go visiting on my own. Yet even though none of the photos has him inside, he was actually with me in my heart where i went. Every place i been to, he was actually part of the memory, whether or not he was physically with me. So he was never absent from any part of my memory.
Of course, he never knew or appreciate that. On the contrary, for him, not all part of his memories had me inside; the past 5 months of his memories were built with that China woman without me in it at all. It was only between them. The memories of the two 贝s had officially ceased on 31-Jan-09, just one day after we returned from BM for the CNY holiday and our Chinese wedding tea ceremony. That was the day he stepped into that evil place of exotic massage center and met that Satan woman for the first time, tempted by her and took the road of no return from then on.
Anyway, back to my outstanding posts. I will surely take the time to slowly complete all the ones on my business trips and visits overseas. Well, now that my life is no longer filled with 贝, 贝, 贝, and i'm stuck in a rented room after work, having no TV or other entertainment, all i could do is either blogging or reading.
(Yes, i know i should join some activities and go out more. I will... eventually.)
| Cogitated @ 4:34 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
|
Long outstanding post
I was checking out my draft blog post and remembered that there's one long outstanding post that i've been procrastinating for almost 3 years! It had always been on my mind but i never finished writing it.
That is, the final post on our trip to Kuching.
I can't really recall much about the trip already, and frankly, i'd rather not too. It was one of the trips that 贝 and i had together, which was very enjoyable.
So i guess i'm just gonna post up whatever i've written and the pictures only.
Yes, it was 3 years back, but it needs a closure as well.
That is, the final post on our trip to Kuching.
I can't really recall much about the trip already, and frankly, i'd rather not too. It was one of the trips that 贝 and i had together, which was very enjoyable.
So i guess i'm just gonna post up whatever i've written and the pictures only.
Yes, it was 3 years back, but it needs a closure as well.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 3:32 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Em.... 3 years ago.
That's why I was thinking, u went Kuching twice meh!?
:p we are almost in the same boat.
I just manage to updated my so call "dairy" till beginning of Jun09 last Sunday. Still long way to go.
Then the others issues is I haven't developed my photos since Aug07.
I know u'll laugh at me for still developing photos nowadays, I just simply enjoy develope, arrange photos & write those memory on notes ah!
So let's "Jia You" together! , at 9/7/09 10:47 pm
Friday, July 03, 2009
An uninhibited place
To the anonymous reader who has stumbled upon my blog and left the long comments, i thank you for your concerns and sharing of your story.
Sometimes i really feel that my decision in starting to have a blog four years ago was actually a blessing. Through this blog, not only i got to share my latest news with my friends in real life, i also got to know that there are people out there who do not even know me in person and yet care about me.
I looked at my blog stats sometimes and saw readers from domains that i do not know, who actually followed my blog and are concerned about my life. A lot are silent readers whom i will never get to know about their existence, but i do know that they are reading.
Whatever the reasons may be for them to read my nonsense, i believe that they would want to see me stand on my feet again. I would want to believe that they hope to see on this blog one day a post titled "i am happy", or "i've let go and move on", or even "i'm in love again", rather than whining about the same thing over and over again.
Trust me, i wouldn't disappoint you. I have plans for myself, and i have actually taken some actions in making myself feel better (some of which were coincidentally things that were mentioned by the anonymous reader). It's not gonna happen overnight of course, and it will be slow and gradual. But please do note that i am working on it, despite my blog here that appears to be going around in circle.
As i said, this blog is a blessing for me, because it's an avenue for me to let go of my insensible part. While working on my healing, there bound to be times when i'll relapse, when i'll feel helpless and hopeless, when i'll fall into depression and be filled with sorrow again, when i'll have all the resentments, anger and pent-up emotions. All these, i gotta repressed in the real world. But here, is the place where i can just let the darkest side shown and not have to worry about being taken as an insane person.
Do not worry for me. I will be fine. Time is all that i need now.
Sometimes i really feel that my decision in starting to have a blog four years ago was actually a blessing. Through this blog, not only i got to share my latest news with my friends in real life, i also got to know that there are people out there who do not even know me in person and yet care about me.
I looked at my blog stats sometimes and saw readers from domains that i do not know, who actually followed my blog and are concerned about my life. A lot are silent readers whom i will never get to know about their existence, but i do know that they are reading.
Whatever the reasons may be for them to read my nonsense, i believe that they would want to see me stand on my feet again. I would want to believe that they hope to see on this blog one day a post titled "i am happy", or "i've let go and move on", or even "i'm in love again", rather than whining about the same thing over and over again.
Trust me, i wouldn't disappoint you. I have plans for myself, and i have actually taken some actions in making myself feel better (some of which were coincidentally things that were mentioned by the anonymous reader). It's not gonna happen overnight of course, and it will be slow and gradual. But please do note that i am working on it, despite my blog here that appears to be going around in circle.
As i said, this blog is a blessing for me, because it's an avenue for me to let go of my insensible part. While working on my healing, there bound to be times when i'll relapse, when i'll feel helpless and hopeless, when i'll fall into depression and be filled with sorrow again, when i'll have all the resentments, anger and pent-up emotions. All these, i gotta repressed in the real world. But here, is the place where i can just let the darkest side shown and not have to worry about being taken as an insane person.
Do not worry for me. I will be fine. Time is all that i need now.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 2:05 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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I like this page. Finally i see deem light.I have been keeping silent and not know how to help u.This feeling is bad. I am one of the silent reader. I am just praying that when I open your blog one day, I see a smily face on my right. This day will come. Remember we love you....
DS , at 3/7/09 11:02 pm
Monday, June 08, 2009
Pointless posts
As i've mentioned before, i had a lot of outstanding blog posts that were in my pipeline -- the marriage proposal, the purchase of the HDB unit, the wedding preparation, the wedding...
Now, all these are pointless already. So the draft that i had written half-way through for the wedding songs can be deleted too.
I can't really listen to the radio now without feeling the twitch in my heart. Not only for the songs that i picked for our wedding, but also those that he listened over and over again during the time when he was hiding the affair from me and was sharing these songs with that woman.
I guess it's time for me should switch to another radio station.
Now, all these are pointless already. So the draft that i had written half-way through for the wedding songs can be deleted too.
I can't really listen to the radio now without feeling the twitch in my heart. Not only for the songs that i picked for our wedding, but also those that he listened over and over again during the time when he was hiding the affair from me and was sharing these songs with that woman.
I guess it's time for me should switch to another radio station.
| Cogitated @ 3:57 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Friday, May 01, 2009
Viewtru
He is a fellow blogger who went into hiatus since last year.
I am one of his avid readers of his blog. I think he writes very well, with great wit and imagination.
Today, i was browsing through his old posts and came across this piece that really fits my current situation.
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. -- Alexander Graham Bell
I am one of his avid readers of his blog. I think he writes very well, with great wit and imagination.
Today, i was browsing through his old posts and came across this piece that really fits my current situation.
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. -- Alexander Graham Bell
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 5:51 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Friday, June 13, 2008
Three years old
So, i'm still around.
Wow, amazing.
No seriously, i've never even worked in a company for three years, and yet i'm here, blogging into the third year.
My posts are getting infrequent recently. I have backlogs of blog posts building up to the extent that by the time i finally get some time to write, i can't recall what was it about anymore. And whenever i do write something, it seems like i'm just whinning about my work.
Yes, i do know that. It's all about work work work work work lately. The scariest part is not about people stop reading what i write because of my whinning, but people actually stop talking to me because i'm whinning in real life too.
Anyway, being all whinny or not, this blog is just reflecting a part of me. It is me, yet it is not me.
Just be known that however busy/lazy i may be, this is the place where i get to choose when to write, what to write, to be truthful or not, and to be me or not me.
That actually beats living in real life, where my liberty to choose can be so limited sometimes.
Oh yeah, i WILL be around.
Wow, amazing.
No seriously, i've never even worked in a company for three years, and yet i'm here, blogging into the third year.
My posts are getting infrequent recently. I have backlogs of blog posts building up to the extent that by the time i finally get some time to write, i can't recall what was it about anymore. And whenever i do write something, it seems like i'm just whinning about my work.
Yes, i do know that. It's all about work work work work work lately. The scariest part is not about people stop reading what i write because of my whinning, but people actually stop talking to me because i'm whinning in real life too.
Anyway, being all whinny or not, this blog is just reflecting a part of me. It is me, yet it is not me.
Just be known that however busy/lazy i may be, this is the place where i get to choose when to write, what to write, to be truthful or not, and to be me or not me.
That actually beats living in real life, where my liberty to choose can be so limited sometimes.
Oh yeah, i WILL be around.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 3:48 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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I'll always support u.
Sometimes, we din really have someone to talk to.
Or we din really feel like to burden somebody(especially someone close) with our problem.
Blogging (to me is write diary lah!) is really a good way to relax ourself.
So no need to think of something else. No need to worry what others think of u.
Compare to noway to relise pressure until jadi gila. continue to compain & nagging lah! , at 16/6/08 6:39 pm
Thanks sui. As long as you are reading, i'll continue blogging on. :) PinPin 彬彬, at 22/6/08 9:26 pm
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
It has been a while
Ya, quite a while i must say.
For more than half-a-year, i didn't update my Chinese blog.
Finally, today i re-injected some life into it, even though it's just a short post that somewhat summed up my thoughts on turning thirty-three.
Hopefully this year i can churn out more Chinese posts.
For more than half-a-year, i didn't update my Chinese blog.
Finally, today i re-injected some life into it, even though it's just a short post that somewhat summed up my thoughts on turning thirty-three.
Hopefully this year i can churn out more Chinese posts.
Labels: blogging
| Cogitated @ 4:51 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Thursday, September 27, 2007
A private space
I've just set up another blog in Blogger for posting private posts.
Well, the word private may not be appropriate, since anything posted on the Web cannot be considered private anymore, unless i restrict the access by invitation.
But then, i don't like sending emails to friends asking them to read my blog. I'd prefer restricting the access through password protection. That's a more elegant way to control who gets to read my blog and who doesn't. Yet, the problem with Blogger is that it lacks such feature, and i wanna keep the consistency and don't wanna use other blog hosts.
Anyway, just like what i do with my job, if things don't work the way i hope they do, i'll make it work by testing out other methods. So, i've put in a script for password in that blog. I know it's quite easy to break but my purpose is just to keep some people out, and i know those people aren't that tech-savvy.
Ok, so why did i wanna do this?
It came about because of a funny yet embarrassing incident that happened when i was up north at 贝's hometown. Initially i've wanted to post it up here, but then thought that it's too dangerous because some people whom i hope to keep them from knowing about the incident may read my blog. So only a selected few may get to know what actually had happened.
Link to the post: Shitty business
Password hint: The full name (small caps without space) of a good friend of mine who always addressed me as her "hubby" back in highschool (i was rather tomboyish back then).
If you don't know what's the password and wanna know about that interesting story, drop me an email and i'll see if you are one of those selected few.
Well, the word private may not be appropriate, since anything posted on the Web cannot be considered private anymore, unless i restrict the access by invitation.
But then, i don't like sending emails to friends asking them to read my blog. I'd prefer restricting the access through password protection. That's a more elegant way to control who gets to read my blog and who doesn't. Yet, the problem with Blogger is that it lacks such feature, and i wanna keep the consistency and don't wanna use other blog hosts.
Anyway, just like what i do with my job, if things don't work the way i hope they do, i'll make it work by testing out other methods. So, i've put in a script for password in that blog. I know it's quite easy to break but my purpose is just to keep some people out, and i know those people aren't that tech-savvy.
Ok, so why did i wanna do this?
It came about because of a funny yet embarrassing incident that happened when i was up north at 贝's hometown. Initially i've wanted to post it up here, but then thought that it's too dangerous because some people whom i hope to keep them from knowing about the incident may read my blog. So only a selected few may get to know what actually had happened.
Link to the post: Shitty business
Password hint: The full name (small caps without space) of a good friend of mine who always addressed me as her "hubby" back in highschool (i was rather tomboyish back then).
If you don't know what's the password and wanna know about that interesting story, drop me an email and i'll see if you are one of those selected few.
| Cogitated @ 3:31 am by PinPin 彬彬 |
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Thursday, June 14, 2007
Two years (and two days) old
Just realized that i missed my blog's birthday, which may be a good thing as i can skip writing the obligatory birthday post.
As my work gets busier, the time i spend on blogging becomes lesser. There were things that i heard, read, or experienced that i really wanted to write about, knowing that it's the way that i share my thoughts with my friends who read my blog and whom i meet up less frequently nowadays, but i was just too lazy to do it. I wonder if busy with work has become an excuse for me to not write anything. Just hope that it's not because my passion for writing/blogging has died off, just like the many other hobbies that i had before when i was young.
I must admit that there were times when stop blogging had crossed my mind. These thoughts were just flashes and not something i would spend days pondering over. I'm not sure if i would really give this up one fine day but at this point of time, i do know that i still need this space for letting go some of my emotions sometimes, or even to spew nonsense.
But even more importantly, i will still blog on because i know that i have some friends reading my life every now and then, and these are the friends who are so dear to me that i'm willing to write even if it's just for staying connected to them...
Sui, while our gatherings get infrequent, it feels good whenever you comment something i wrote in my blog when we do meet, and i know that you've never stopped caring for me.
Siang, whenever i saw the blog stats showing visitor from Japan, i know that you've come and go, and i'd feel that we were still close despite the distance.
LF, while you are juggling between work and study, you would still drop by to find out how i'm getting on. That itself is telling me what friendship is all about.
The other friends whom i know in real life and those whom i've never met, while some of you have been silent and i may not know who you are, i'm glad that you are around. It has never occurred to me that anyone would be interested in knowing the uninteresting life of a person like me.
Gee, i guess in the end i still wrote the obligatory birthday post huh! Two year (and two days), 466 posts. I think i'll still be counting.
As my work gets busier, the time i spend on blogging becomes lesser. There were things that i heard, read, or experienced that i really wanted to write about, knowing that it's the way that i share my thoughts with my friends who read my blog and whom i meet up less frequently nowadays, but i was just too lazy to do it. I wonder if busy with work has become an excuse for me to not write anything. Just hope that it's not because my passion for writing/blogging has died off, just like the many other hobbies that i had before when i was young.
I must admit that there were times when stop blogging had crossed my mind. These thoughts were just flashes and not something i would spend days pondering over. I'm not sure if i would really give this up one fine day but at this point of time, i do know that i still need this space for letting go some of my emotions sometimes, or even to spew nonsense.
But even more importantly, i will still blog on because i know that i have some friends reading my life every now and then, and these are the friends who are so dear to me that i'm willing to write even if it's just for staying connected to them...
Sui, while our gatherings get infrequent, it feels good whenever you comment something i wrote in my blog when we do meet, and i know that you've never stopped caring for me.
Siang, whenever i saw the blog stats showing visitor from Japan, i know that you've come and go, and i'd feel that we were still close despite the distance.
LF, while you are juggling between work and study, you would still drop by to find out how i'm getting on. That itself is telling me what friendship is all about.
The other friends whom i know in real life and those whom i've never met, while some of you have been silent and i may not know who you are, i'm glad that you are around. It has never occurred to me that anyone would be interested in knowing the uninteresting life of a person like me.
Gee, i guess in the end i still wrote the obligatory birthday post huh! Two year (and two days), 466 posts. I think i'll still be counting.
Labels: blogging, introspection
| Cogitated @ 7:46 pm by PinPin 彬彬 |
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