Sometimes i really feel that my decision in starting to have a blog four years ago was actually a blessing. Through this blog, not only i got to share my latest news with my friends in real life, i also got to know that there are people out there who do not even know me in person and yet care about me.
I looked at my blog stats sometimes and saw readers from domains that i do not know, who actually followed my blog and are concerned about my life. A lot are silent readers whom i will never get to know about their existence, but i do know that they are reading.
Whatever the reasons may be for them to read my nonsense, i believe that they would want to see me stand on my feet again. I would want to believe that they hope to see on this blog one day a post titled "i am happy", or "i've let go and move on", or even "i'm in love again", rather than whining about the same thing over and over again.
Trust me, i wouldn't disappoint you. I have plans for myself, and i have actually taken some actions in making myself feel better (some of which were coincidentally things that were mentioned by the anonymous reader). It's not gonna happen overnight of course, and it will be slow and gradual. But please do note that i am working on it, despite my blog here that appears to be going around in circle.
As i said, this blog is a blessing for me, because it's an avenue for me to let go of my insensible part. While working on my healing, there bound to be times when i'll relapse, when i'll feel helpless and hopeless, when i'll fall into depression and be filled with sorrow again, when i'll have all the resentments, anger and pent-up emotions. All these, i gotta repressed in the real world. But here, is the place where i can just let the darkest side shown and not have to worry about being taken as an insane person.
Do not worry for me. I will be fine. Time is all that i need now.
Labels: blogging
