The most immediate effect of the betrayal of trust is in the emotional impact on the person betrayed. Generally speaking, the greater the trust that you had put in the other person and the greater the impact their betrayal has on you, then the greater the distress you will feel...
When you are betrayed by someone, it is highly likely that you will not easily trust them again. Trust is fragile and can be lost instantly or there is a hysteresis whereby a long-earned trust may be eroded and then suddenly lost.
When a person feels that they have been betrayed, they may well seek some form of justice, putting right (at least for them) what they feel has been wronged, including their sensibilities... (source)
Extramarital affair is actually one of the greatest betrayal in marriage.
Two persons who love each other deeply decided to tie the knot and spend the rest of their lives together. Then, when one of the parties has an affair with a third person, the very foundation of the marriage (i.e. love and trust) is irretrievably destroyed. The person who committed the act has betrayed the love and trust that the spouse has put in him/her.
On top of that, if what the person betrayed was not only the love and trust, but goes even further as to plan for something that is taking advantage of the spouse, disregarding the well-being and possible harm that may be brought onto her, the degree of betrayal is brought to yet another level.
Frankly, what YY did with that woman is the greatest betrayal in my life. This is the part that is especially difficult for me to deal with.
As much as it hurts deeply, i can come to term with the fact that YY has stopped loving me, that he had a change of heart and fell in love with another woman. After all, most men are like this and YY just so happened to be one of them.
Yet, what i can't get around my head was that the person whom i've devoted my life in loving and who had loved me and been with for so many years could actually thought of using me for their own agenda. Whether he could or could not bring himself to actually doing it is another thing. The thing is that how could he even have such thought crossed his mind at all?
Even after i've been so severely betrayed and hurt, i've never thought of doing anything to harm him at all. So i cannot understand how could my 贝, who was once so loving and nice, become such a wicked person to me?
I do not know how to put in words on exactly what kind of feeling that is. "Being hurt deeply" does not seem to be able to describe even 1% of the distress that i'm going through.
It's only human nature to wanna know why, to wanna find an explanation to the things that happened to them. That was why i once asked him if he hated me, or if i had done anything so wrong in the past to him that he'd treat me like this. What i referred to wasn't really so much about he falling for another woman, but on how he cheated and schemed against me. I couldn't figure out how he could do this to a person with whom he had such long relationship, and the only thing i could think of he must have hated me in some way.
Anyway, it's gonna take me a lot of time to finally come to term with this part too, to accept that there is simply no explanation to it, that it just happened, that's all.
