I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

To stop or not to stop

I gotta admit that the thought crossed my mind, again. Uh huh, the thought of shutting down this blog and stop blogging once and for all.

Somehow, i found it harder to blog nowadays. I do not want to say that it's because i'm busy at work and do not have the time or energy. Even though it's true to a certain extent, it would sound too much like an excuse.

After all, my friend once said, "时间就像乳沟,挤一挤总还是有的" (translation: time is like cleavage, squeeze and there will be some). And indeed, with all those magic push-up bra in the market, one can never fail to squeeze out the deep-v; so really, why i can't do the same for time?

That's because there's no magic bra for the time in our life. Everyone is born with different sizes of breasts, but all of us are given the same number of hours in a day. The difference is just that some people have lesser things to do, or maybe they are better in managing time. Whatever it is, i do need a magic bra for time, and a super push-up one.

Back to why i was thinking of stop blogging. Well, recently i found myself unable to think well and having difficulties in articulating my thoughts in words. Something in me is slipping away, but i'm not sure what and why. I feel that it may not be so much about losing a certain flair that i think i have; rather, it may be a realisation that i actually do not have it at all to begin with.

That can be scary, i tell you. When you are at a loss of what you have or do not have, what you can do or cannot do, and what you are good at or what you are not, you will just feel apprehensive of the future, of your self-worth, or even of your very existence. You fear the possibility that one day you would finally realise you are just a good-for-nothing who will forever amount to nothing and will eventually die alone, sad and broken.

In case you are wondering what the heck am i babbling about here, frankly, i do not know for sure too. This is precisely why i do not feel like blogging anymore - i can either fill this blog with posts like a diary that simply documents the boring events of my life, or flood it with nonsensical thoughts that are often dark and negative.

Oh well, perhaps all i need is just a good rest. Maybe i am just tired.

We shall see.

Labels: ,

dear pinpin, hope that this is just one another low spirited post that can be brushed off and all forgotten in the next day (and when you are reading this, you already have forgotten about yesterday). Did something happen this day that causes you to have this thought? i've always hoped that if this blog indeed to end, it would be something about eternal happiness, something with all's well end's well but certainly it is NOT something like this. Life's dull anyway, especially working life, with stress and pressure somemore. But it's for us to add color into it, to turn it around to make it interesting and filled with laughters. there's no mistake that you have sweetness in you and talent in expressing thoughts (you won prize for writing too, isn't it ..) , which have gained you many friends, admires and respects from colleagues, teammates and blog readers from afar. even cabbies like to talk to you, minus the one forbid you eating in his car. so, please don't give up on yourself. it's just that you have not back to normal and the actual pinpin as she used to be, yet. and i'm looking forward that she will bounce back with laughters to be shared with us all. and, come on, there are so many things yet to be filled in this space. what about the long queues for your travelogs, especially the recent one you lamented how short it was. and the chrismas blast with your colleagues. and tricks working on your SLR. and of course there are more good things yet to come. certainly there are fun incidents in office and with friends that should be expressed in writing and can bring smiles when reading them back and extinguish those melancholy mood. remember this will be a great year, and please put this in mind. perhaps, writing happy things will slowly and eventually put away those silly thoughts of being lonely. yawn, i've been typing too long again. i'm not a great writer like you, thus i don't think i can really inspire and leave much impact on you. again and again, always stay positive, and cheers. -HY-

好乱哦!!!! ^-^

Share your cogitation

Tuesday, February 22, 2011 @ 2:53 am: Valentine's Bearista 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011 @ 2:10 am: I am hungry
Saturday, February 19, 2011 @ 1:57 am: TGIF
Wednesday, February 16, 2011 @ 3:51 am: Quick update
Saturday, February 12, 2011 @ 5:46 am: Busy at work
Wednesday, February 09, 2011 @ 11:39 pm: Another moving clip (and more)
Wednesday, February 09, 2011 @ 11:23 pm: A moving video clip
Tuesday, February 08, 2011 @ 2:36 am: End of holidays
Thursday, February 03, 2011 @ 3:44 am: Happy Chinese New Year 2011
Tuesday, February 01, 2011 @ 4:51 am: PBB