That was a few years back before our marriage. I had always thought that he held the same belief and values as me about love and marriage. It turned out, he doesn't. He was one of the examples of why the divorce rate in SG is so high -- he doesn't understand what true love is, and he doesn't understand what marriage is all about either.
Cases of extramarital affairs are so common now that there was this series of articles in the Msia newspaper on this topic.
I seriously do not understand what the problems are with the people nowadays. Where are their moral values? Do they understand what is love? Do they know what is marriage? Do they know that the wedding vow is a promise of a lifetime and should be taken solemnly and not just a formality?
I think what was written below is true:
Yes, i think the sadness of losing my husband is not purely about losing the person i love, but also about how the world that i had always believed in collapsed, how the values and beliefs that had propelled me in life were shattered.
I've been asking myself why i am depressed, when all logical thoughts are indicating that i will be better off without him, that i can live a good life by myself, that it's a blessing that it happens now than 10 years later.
Yet, love is illogical. It's not something that you can just list down on a piece of paper and decide how and what to feel. This also explains why YY would jeopardised his otherwise blissful marriage and wonderful life for that China woman. If there's a list for him to make comparison, between a good and decent wife who has been through thick and thin with him for so many years and willing to rough it through to build a happy life with him till death, versus a China woman who does erotic massage for a living, cares a lot about money and whom he only knew for a few months, the choice cannot be any more obvious. But then, love is not something that can be compared like this. He loves her and not me, and so his choice is not something that can be explained rationally.
And the article also listed the myths about how to overcome the sadness:
Basically, i gotta face it in order to truly get over it. This is something VERY difficult, and it takes a lot of courage. I seriously do not know if i am capable of doing it.
Sometimes, the pain gets so bad that i really wish my life could stop so that i can stop feeling anything. No, i'm not thinking of committing suicide; it's just that i get so tired of facing and dealing with it already.
Labels: introspection, love
