He became a good man when he was with me. Actually i did nothing to change him over all these years. I was just being myself and loved him dearly. I do not know what magic i had on him, but he just changed himself for the better.
Come to think about it, yes, his real self may actually be very bad. Both his first girlfriend and this China woman made his true self wild, but don't know why, when he was with me, he just had to be good. I'm not sure if he's suppressing the badness, or really doing it from the bottom of his heart, but he did become a good person whom his family and everyone around him likes so much.
Despite his bad real self, there's a part of him who keeps wanting to break free and be a true good man. He longs to be good and do good; he wants to be the child that his parents can love and be proud of; he wants to be successful and lead a normal fulfilled life. He saw himself moving towards that direction, until the day he stepped into that evil place and met that woman. All hell breaks lose.
Now, he told me that, he wants to be the good man again. That was why he was reluctant to let me go, for he believes that only i can make him a good man.
I've always believed that the purpose of our mortal life in this world is to make an impact, make a difference. It does not have to be a Nobel Prize or something that hits the headline. To me, every difference we make in a person's life, however small it may be, every impact we left behind on the person can very well be the purpose in our lives.
Yes, i think i can see it now. Perhaps part of the purpose of my life is to make a difference in YY's life. I had to come into his life and make him and everyone see that there is still goodness in him. Even though i could not change him from his root, but i've shown him that the potential that he has to become a real good man. Through this whole incident, it has also showed him the strong contrast between good and bad, and to make him realise that the choice between good and evil is entirely his, and just one wrong choice can mean the difference of heaven or hell.
If this is really why i have to walk through this excruciating journey in life, then i think i have made a significant difference in a person's life, a person whom i love dearly. Then really, my job is done here. He does not really need anyone to make him good. He can do it, for his family, for another woman, or more importantly, for himself.
There's nothing more for me to do here already. Probably it's really about time that i should bring my magic to different people.
Labels: introspection, love
