I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I am mad

I'm very very very pissed now... beyond words.

I was told that the meeting with UK today will commence at 3pm and will last for a full day, which would probably end at around past mid-night.

Then i woke up at around 10am this morning, took my time to get prepared, had breakfast and then commute to the office. Reached here at around 1pm just now.

I logged on to the network and then read an email from big boss (sent at around 10pm+ yesterday) that informs me the meeting will start at 6pm instead! My colleagues told me that big boss came in to the office this morning for a meeting, and then went back home to rest after that. He told them that he would come in later afternoon, so he's not around now.

If the agenda of the meeting is for full day, and the meeting will only start at 6pm, then it means it would probably last till 3am or so. Then why the heck am i in the office so early for? This means i'm gonna be working for more than 12 hours in the office!

I've already told them before that i do not read emails after i leave the office, and i do not have a Black Berry like the other IT guys -- i do not want to have a life like them who gotta read emails WHEREVER, WHENEVER!

Then if the meeting time is changed, big boss could have sent me an sms to inform me about it last night, so that i can rest at home and come in later. For the meeting tonight, i'll be in charge of doing demo and presentation to the European Financial Directors, which means that i will be doing the talking for hours, while he will just sit there and listen. So shouldn't i have sufficient rest before the meeting??!!

I am furiously mad. I am so fed-up with this job.

Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate the understanding and support that big boss had shown me during my difficult time back in March to June, but that doesn't mean that i'd have to repay it by becoming a slave to my work!

In fact, the incident has actually led me to re-examine my life and ask myself what the point is in working so hard, when i have lost the person i love the most and also do not have time of my own to do the things i find meaningful and fulfilling.

We've often got our priorities in life wrong, so so so so so wrong. For many of us, our jobs always seem to take priority over the other things. We wanna get the work done well, we wanna keep our bosses happy, we wanna be promoted and get huge bonus and increment... so holidays gotta be re-scheduled, after-office-hours activities gotta be skipped, weekend gotta be spent on work, birthdays of loved ones gotta be missed...

But then, if we count the hours in our adult life and take away all these things, what are we really left with in the end? We will then realise how little time we have actually spent with our loved ones and doing the things we truly enjoy. Most of the moments in our lives were spent chasing for things that eventually do not matter at all, while the things that do matter, we neglect, forgo, and eventually regret.

Anyway, since i'm already in the office but the meeting will only start in the evening, then i'll NOT work on anything now. I'll just take it as my personal time and do my own stuff...

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 @ 5:33 am: Hungry
Wednesday, September 30, 2009 @ 4:58 am: Very tired
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 @ 4:57 am: Back late
Monday, September 28, 2009 @ 4:35 am: Maid-less
Sunday, September 27, 2009 @ 5:39 am: Weekend headache
Saturday, September 26, 2009 @ 4:53 am: My theme song 104
Saturday, September 26, 2009 @ 4:43 am: Late night craving
Friday, September 25, 2009 @ 4:26 am: Random updates
Thursday, September 24, 2009 @ 3:39 am: My theme song 103
Thursday, September 24, 2009 @ 3:31 am: No passion for job