I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I shouldn't have reacted this way


You've just finished shopping at a crowded supermarket, with all the stuffs put in a shopping cart that has this coin slot thingy at the cart handle for chaining the carts together. The supermarket doesn't allow the patrons to push the shopping cart to the parking lot, so you gotta return the cart to where it belongs to retrieve the $1 coin.

As you are pushing the cart out from the check-out counter and heading towards the designated shopping carts hub, there are two aunties chit-chatting and walking very slowly in front of you. They are just those typical aunties who are a bit plump, with permed short hair, wearing those ankle leggings and sandals with half-inch heels.

You are a person who usually walks rather fast and seldom walks in a strolling pace. You also didn't notice that there's a protruded metal rim at the fore bottom of the shopping cart. Just as you aren't paying much attention, you accidentally push a bit faster and the protruded metal rim knocks the back ankle of one of the aunties in front.

She cried "ouch!" and checks her back ankle. You can see a fleck of white at her back ankle where it was knocked. At about the same time, you apologize immediately. She then turns to glare at you, grimaces and says, "What's wrong with you? It's very painful you know! You see, the skin has flaked off."

So you apologize somemore. She doesn't wanna let it rest and continues glowering at you as if she's gonna rip you apart, and utters in a loud voice, "Hey, you don't know how to push a cart ah? Go around bumping people like that. See, the skin has flaked off. Aiyo, so painful..." And she just goes on and on and on...

Everyone nearby has heard her whining and starts looking at you, trying to find out what the commotion is all about.


What will be your next reaction?

This was what happened last evening when i was shopping at NTUC at Jurong Point. I honestly didn't know how i knocked her with the shopping cart and i really didn't do it intentionally. Anyway, accident or not, i've caused pain to someone and i ought to be sorry about it.

And yes i was sorry, but only up until the point when she kept on harping on the incident and wanna made a scene out of it. I have had similar experience before at a hypermarket in JB, when someone accidentally stepped on my foot (i was wearing slippers). The person apologized and i told him it was ok and just let it go, even though my toes were hurting terribly. So this auntie's reaction was really something that i didn't expect.

I've said before that our true characters are manifested in our first reactions to situations. I still believe in that, because what i did next had definitely showed what kind of person i am -- low EQ and quick temper.

In such situation, the two best reactions would be to either ignore her and walk away, or continue to apologize profusely until she simmered down. Yet, i did none of those.

(All conversations were originally in Mandarin)

Even though it was indeed my fault in not paying more attention in pushing the shopping cart, i was pissed at her for harping on it after i've already apologized. So i snapped, "Auntie, i've already apologize, you know."

She of course wasn't happy about what i said to her. This made her talked to me even louder, "What?! You did something wrong and just said sorry will do ah?! It's very painful you know?!"

This pissed me off further and so i raised my voice too, "I've already apologized. What else do you want me to do? Do you wanna knock me back?" And with that, i gave her my "what the f*ck do you want more" look.

She then said, "You should be careful in pushing the cart and not to hurt anyone. It's so painful..."

Not wanting to hear anymore, i cut her off by saying, "Yes, i know. I'll be careful and won't do it again. I'm sorry. So i apologize. What's more do you want me to do?"

Then i just walked away, with her whining still distinctly behind me.

On retrospect, i think i've been rather unreasonable. Yes, i've apologized, but that doesn't mean she had to accept my apologies there and then. Yes, to me, it's just a small matter and i wouldn't have harped on it like she did, but i shouldn't expect everyone to behave like me. I was the one who was in the wrong, and she was the one who was hurt. She had every right to scold me and refuse to forgive me.

I shouldn't have retorted. I have no excuse for my reaction, not PMS (mine just over) nor age (i'm not a young kid who can claim immunity in immaturity). It's simply the flaws in my personality: I'm a person who flares up quickly and often regret it later. I'm a person who expects people to be forgiving and tolerant towards me but not doing the same to others. I'm a person who knows and talks about all the should-have's but hardly live by them. And the worst of all, i'm a person who knows my own flaws and swears to change for the better, and yet let my temper get the better of me again and again.  

I'm just this terrible. Sigh, i gotta change for the better. I MUST.

it's not that bad la... at least u didn't punch her or something. or blog about what a biatch the aunty was, and how she should deserve hail...

I know it was just a small matter, but the problem is that i'm constantly torn between wanting to be a goody-goody and yet coming out as a short-tempered bitch.

Hey.. you've done your part... good enough..

But to me.. that aunty is like kind of over already.. too much of yelling and scolding

I had a similar discussion with my sis yesterday, regarding how we react when we accidentally 'bang' others.
For me, I'll immediately apologies even thou sometimes it may not my fault.(However, sometimes it's very difficult to define whose fault)
Then, there'll be different response-either just smile & said it's ok. Or glare at u, very fierce. I'll be very angry with the later. Why? I've alreadi apology, what more do u want. Furthermore, it may not be my fault!
See, how alike we are!!! :p

Share your cogitation

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