Now, let's play another one.
YY kept on insisting that he does not want a divorce, as he believes that we still have a chance to be together again. He insisted that he still loves and cares for me. He said he wants us to be back to our happy loving days. He told everyone (including his family) that he is regretful, remorse, hopes that he can turn back time, and he has stopped his relationship with that woman.
Yet, these are all lies. He is still with that woman like a couple, doing all the things that couples do such as dating and having sex. His behaviours towards me were also bizarre. He would sometimes be pissed at me, intentionally argued with me in bad attitude, and disagreed with me on financial issues. Then he would changed 180 degree, agreed to everything and be very nice to me in showing his care and concern.
So really, either he's having this psychological disorder of split personality, or there's something that only him (and probably that woman too) know what he's up to.
This time, the question to the guessing game is, "what is YY up to (when he does not want a divorce and yet continues cheating)"?
Again, here are the guesses, in the order of likelihood:
- He does not want a divorce because he is worried that one day he will break up with this woman, whether because he finds out their differences and have personality clashes, or she is really just using him and dumps him later. When that happens, he will then come back to me, which means that i'm basically acting like a spare tyre.
- The longer he drags on our divorce, the longer he can stay comfortably in that house without incurring extra rental expenses. Now that he doesn't have me sharing his financial burden and need to feed an extra person, he needs all the money that he can save.
- He still feels that he loves both women. He wants to continue having a wife who can help him in everything and who is accepted by his family and friends, but at the same time also having a mistress outside who can keep him emotionally happy and sexually satisfied. Basically he is just the typical type of f*cking selfish man who wants best of both worlds (享齐人之福).
- He is under pressure from the parents to stop with that woman and to get back with me one day. So he has to continue lying to the family about severing all ties with that woman, while at the same time pretends that he is putting in effort to save the marriage so that he is answerable to his parents. By end of the 4 years that he wanted, he can then point the fingers at me, telling his parents that it was me who's stubborn and not him who does not want to be with me anymore.
- He cannot accept himself to be the same type of lousy men whom he had always criticised before. He cannot face himself to be the husband who gives up the good wife for the outside woman who came from indecent background. He also could not answer to his parents about still continuing the affair with that woman. So he has to keep the marriage even though he does not love me anymore; he needs to be answerable to himself and to his family.
- He loves that woman deeply now, but he is unwilling to let go of the past because all the past 8 years have been absolute blissfulness. He does not really want to continue the marriage already, but he has to say so and do so because psychologically, he still refuses to let go of the past, and he feels that by not admitting that he does not love me anymore can ease his guilt in having a change of heart and destroyed the marriage.
- Everything he does, he now consults with that woman, and that woman is teaching him how to get me back from a woman's point of view. They had schemed about making use of me financially, so all that he is doing are part of his scheme to get me back to help them financially.
- He realised that he does indeed love me, but his lust for that woman is just too strong. He also feels lonely in life when he always wants to feel love so strongly. So he can't let go of both sides.
- There is something about the fengshui of the house he's staying at now, or that woman has cast black magic on him, that even though deep down in his heart he wanna turn back, he simply can't stop himself.
- He's indeed having a psychological disorder of split personality.
Well, again, there are still a lot of other possibilities that i may not think of. Feel free to add on to the list. I am, however, sure that one of my guesses is the correct one. It has proven that i had been correct all along, isn't it?
But then, i believe for this time 'round, i really will never know the true answer.
Labels: love
