For so many years, whenever i was down and sad, i had him with me. When i was in my most difficult time, i had him by my side, being my pillar of strength.
Suddenly, all these were lost within such short time. In my most depressed time now, i only have myself, hugging my little pillow, crying my eyes out.
I may not have anyone hugging and kissing me for many years to come. There is no one to miss and to love; similarly, there is no one missing me or loving me anymore. My heart is void. The feeling of loneliness can be heart wrenching.
(Ok, i know that i am loved by many people -- mom, aunts, friends... but i am talking about the love for the better half of your life.)
The pain still wouldn't go away. My heart is still hurting, very much. The nearer i am to the final ending, the more painful it is. That is probably why i refuse to let it go in my heart, even though it is hurting so much, for i'm apprehensive of the future, where my heart and my life will be void of love.
But then, the time will come, very soon actually, when i have to let it go no matter what. I must.
Labels: introspection, love
