Cogito ergo scribo

I can't sleep.

Not sure if it's the left-over effect of the short break, or there are simply too much things on my mind.

Shit, i guess the vacation really didn't help much. Perhaps i should really move to Genting for good. I can be the toilet cleaner.

Weekend is torture to me now. I gotta be back to my JB home, more comfy than my rented room but then too full of memories that i'd rather not be reminded of now.

And at the back of my mind, the little voice will just keep telling me, "it's weekend again... he's with that woman again, doing you-know-what..."

I don't know how can i stop this thought, or if i can't, how can i not feel anything when having this thought. Even though there is no official separation paper signed and we are still husband and wife under the law, the divorce route is inevitable already. As such, i should just stop caring about him or what he does. I just have to accept that he has no more obligation towards me in terms of feelings; in fact, his feelings for me had already changed since he got to know that woman.

Just accept it, accept it, accept it, for God's sake!

Labels: life, rant