Then i came across an old calendar, dated year 1999. I flipped through the calendar and saw a sad smiley face that i drawn in the box of 17-Nov-1999.
I tried to recall what happened then that had prompted me to mark down this day as an unhappy day for me, and guess what, i couldn't remember a thing no matter how hard i tried to think back.
Then i flipped to the following month and noticed another note made on 11-Dec-1999:
That was the day that i broke up with my first boyfriend. So i guess the one marked on November 1999 must have something to do with this subsequent breakup.
And frankly, i couldn't remember this date as well if i didn't write it down on the calender. I would be scratching my head, trying to figure out what happened on that day too if i had only drawn the crying face without any words beside it.
When i looked at these dates, instead of being reminded of the sadness, i was actually amused. To think that i was so heart-broken then, and now i couldn't even remember clearly on what exactly happened and when it happened.
So you see, it isn't really just words of consolation when people tell us that "time will heal".
We are hurt, as deeply as it can be, but as time goes by, the hurt will lessen and gradually diminish. One day, it will even just vanish. It is perhaps at this point of time that the hurt may seem too much to bear, but so long as we hold on to the hope that "all these will come to pass one day", then we'll stick it through no matter how hard it is. We gotta always believe that tough time can never last forever and our lives will always get better eventually.
One day, i believe that i will heal from this hurt, that i will recover from this heartache. I don't know when will it be, but that day will surely come.
And 10 years later, when i look back at this incident, i hope i'd no longer feel the pain. Instead, when i think back at the time 贝 and i spent together, i hope i can only remember the happy moments; when i think of 贝, if i were to still feel a twitch in my heart, i'd hope it was because of the way he has once touched my life.
Labels: introspection, love
