I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Monday, September 21, 2009

A nice article on divorce

Here's a nice article from a divorced woman who strives to live through the pain with hope and a fulfilled life.

I extract the last part, which are very encouraging:

I am aware that time heals many wounds and things will get easier as they become more habitual. I also know that a new perspective on life that reflects that life is now filled with new opportunities and possibilities is mandatory. I am well into creating a new career and following interests and personal dreams that I have become reacquainted with over the last year or so. That does feel good.

My work allows me to give back to the world which brings me fulfillment and joy. I am pursuing activities that will bring me into contact with new people. I am doing things that I always loved but had neglected for too long. All that leads to more positive change and growth.

It also helps to lessen the pain of adjustment. It helps relieve the pain of the losses that I have experienced and continue to experience. But that pain is still there, sometimes shocking and more often numbing. I know the pain will lessen as time goes by. I have learned that if I am to be happy in this new life, I cannot depend on anyone other than myself.

What I have learned on a very deep level is we can only control ourselves and little else. Things happen. They always will. It is how we choose to handle what happens in our lives that makes all the difference in the world. We must accept reality for what it is and not for what we think it should be. It is only in that acceptance that we are able to move forward. The bumps in life’s road will always be there. That’s life.

Creating a new life isn’t necessarily easy but I know now that not only is it possible, but also filled with new horizons which is kind of exciting. It’s a matter of believing that life will once again be filled with happiness and joy.

Yes, i think the part where she mentioned about the heartache can often be numbing is so true. It surprised me as to how i can actually feel the pain in my heart constantly and yet continue to behave as if there's nothing there.

No, it's not that i'm pretending it's not there; it's not that i've stopped feeling. In fact, the hurt is far from over. I still feel it, very strongly and regularly. Yet, i think it's just like everything else in life, where you kinda get used to it. It just numbs you, and you kinda just live with it as if it has been part of your life all the while.

I also especially like about the part where she wrote about acceptance and hope -- that the events in our lives are simply beyond out control and we just gotta accept what happened to us and move on. We just gotta believe that happiness is still a possibility in our lives. Acceptance and hope, albeit difficult to achieve, are the powerful forces in propelling us forward in life.

I am still working on it, everyday.

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Monday, September 21, 2009 @ 1:37 am: Blissful life that is not mine
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Sunday, September 20, 2009 @ 3:46 am: Pet Society
Saturday, September 19, 2009 @ 4:55 am: My laptops
Friday, September 18, 2009 @ 3:34 am: The kids
Thursday, September 17, 2009 @ 3:28 am: Working late
Wednesday, September 16, 2009 @ 2:36 am: Relapse
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Monday, September 14, 2009 @ 2:37 am: Washington DC - Day 2 (III)