I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Still undone

Here's a portion of an email i just sent out:

Please find attached the 90% completed draft of the technical specs. You will notice that there has been quite a considerable change to the format and sections.

My apologies that despite my best effort, i was not able to complete it on Friday. There are also some portion that i need to check with the programmer before i can confirm it in the specs. The portions that are not completely done are in blue colors.

Lastly, thanks for the first issues list received last week. I also have a few issues that i found when i was going through the program for writing the specs. You may be receiving a bugs fixing release in the coming weeks.

Yes, i've sent the document out, even though it is incomplete. I ended it at 176 pages, but i'm sure it's gonna be more once i get the incomplete parts confirmed.

It has been painful, to say the least. I slept at 5am again yesterday and woke up at 10am+. If i remember correctly, i've been going like this for 2 weeks straight (or more?). This probably explains my blurry eyes, aching shoulders, back and neck, racing heartbeat, trembling hands, occasional buzzing in the ears and heavy head.

I kid you not; these are indeed what i've been feeling since the past few days. I was concerned if there is anything wrong with me, but my colleague said i am being paranoid. He said these are probably the symptoms of fatigue; i just need to have a good rest.

Yet, the agony is far from ending actually. This piece of work is still undone. I've discovered quite a number of bugs and errors in the programs. And the technical specs still needs to be completed, while there are still lots of overdue work that i need to clear, and more are also planned in the pipeline.

I really wonder if i can continue on like this at all. Besides affecting my health, i'm having serious acne breakouts on my face and back, probably due to sleep deprivation. Then i'm also feeling very depressed, probably also due to energy drain. So i'm getting weak, ugly and unpleasant because of this job. That's bad.

And to make things worse, i do not have anyone who can hug me, pat my head or make me feel better when i'm down. I know i have God, but i couldn't even spare the time to talk to Him.

If you know me in person and see me next time, please give me a pat on the shoulders. I really need it.

Alright, i can actually rant on and on and on, for you can see that i'm in this self-pitying mode again. But then, i really ought to sleep now. Will have to attend church service in the morning.

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Pray to God, read some books will help.

Hope you feel better after attending church service.


"hands trembling" - this is serious. do you think you should consult doctor of your condition? please take care of your health, it's not worth to throw your life for the sake of work that won't turn you millionaire or big career jump overnight. i know you aim for perfection, and i might not qualified to say this since i definitely would not work until 5am, and consecutive for 2 weeks somemore but you have to stop continue being like this. work is one thing, but you have to know your limit also - heavy head and dozy mind don't give you best result and you probably need to redo again. . gosh, where are your team members other than the "pretty girl" ! this is simply not right. you gotta prioritize that HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT! you're making your friends and family worry about you! remember, you are NOT alone. i also don't tolerate slackers and last friday i worked until 12am, and worked until cough somemore for 2 weeks already (however i tell myself i won't work at saturday and sunday so that i can come out some drawings for your blog), but the way you worked are too much. seriously, you need your mum to bug you for 8 hrs sufficient of sleep, just like my mom does to me.

darn, instead of encouraging you, i'm pouring cold water here. I'm sorry for this. once this over, you should give yourself a GOOD rest. ask your boss to grant you compensatory leave, if not take MC instead to deduct your annual leave. whatever it is, you should have a GOOD rest after all this nonsense. i wish i'm in singapore or JB so that i could really give a pat (if i know the real you), the fact that i have left singapore because i felt that i got career nowhere there in engineering and the regret i have of this decision other than money is i did not revisit this blog of yours. sigh ... i hope, no, look forward other blog readers who know you in person give you a pat you deserve, and even a hug.

cheers. you must take care of your health FIRST. -HY-


sleep early. kick that habit of 5 hrs sleep, otherwise even if you take lots of essence of chicken, vitamin C ginseng, bird's soup nest, it's still no good. and stop putting yourself so much stresson job, try to take it easy. cheers. -HY-

Share your cogitation

Friday, October 22, 2010 @ 10:05 am: Going to bed early
Thursday, October 21, 2010 @ 4:34 am: Late night again
Wednesday, October 20, 2010 @ 3:59 am: Another hectic week
Monday, October 18, 2010 @ 4:47 am: Late but made it
Saturday, October 16, 2010 @ 11:15 am: Unfinished
Friday, October 15, 2010 @ 2:09 am: Before and after
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 9:02 am: Yawn
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 5:36 am: I hate my hair
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 3:51 am: On the cab
Wednesday, October 13, 2010 @ 5:24 am: Stressed