My purpose of going back there was to meet up with YY. I need closure, real closure in that i want to confront him in person, asking all the WHY WHY WHY directly to him despite knowing there would actually be no answers at all. What i want was basically just to let go of the resentments and anger that were burdening my heart. It was like an indictment towards him.
He kept quiet and just sat there not looking at me. I knew that he felt very sorry and even sad. I'm not sure if he listened carefully to all that i had said, but then i just cried while pouring out all the fury and sorrow in me. At least he did not talk back at me in bad attitude like he had done all the time previously.
I can't say for sure if this eliminated the anger in me, and for sure it did not remove my sorrow, but at least i do feel a bit better now.
I can't carry this baggage in me forever. I gotta let it out, and it's very important that i achieve some kind of closure on this whole affair.
And i think i've done that finally.
Labels: love
