Compare to the temporary place where i rented last time, this was a lot better. It's furnished and with air-con.
The down side is that i'm staying with the landlady. She's a single mother with two young daughters, aged 11 and 6 (i think). There's a maid too from Myanmar (i think).
The two little gals are cute, but just like all kids, they are rather noisy too. They seemed happy to have a "big sister" moving into their house, and kept coming into my room to see what i was doing. Sigh, it's really a test of my patience i guess.
This should mark a new start of my life alone, but i'm feeling very sad actually. I thought about my own home, where we spent so much time and money making it so comfy and beautiful, where i didn't get to stay in it for long. And here i am, renting a room that's nothing close to my own home.
Yes, it's just human nature that i'd feel short-changed. What had i done wrong really to deserve all these? But then, i just gotta keep telling myself to stop whining. Think of the positive things; count my blessings. Focus on the 80% that i have instead of the things that i do not have.
I miss 贝 dearly, so much so that i do not know what to do but cried and cried and cried. I really hope all these are just a bad dream. I want to wake up to the blissful days again, with my 贝 by my side in our loving home.
Yet, that is simply impossible already. My heart aches when i think of such.
Apparently, i still cannot accept the fact that everything has changed despite knowing that i gotta accept the fact and face the truth before i can let go and move on.
I really hate myself for still being stuck at the same pathetic spot and unable to take the step forward.
Labels: rant
