I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Two worlds

There is this very common line that we see in drama when a person wanna reject another person's love interest in him/her, "you and i live in two different worlds." ("你和我是两个世界的人")

YY used to laugh at this line and remarked that there is only ONE world and so this sentence does not make sense.

Well, logically speaking, it doesn't; but figuratively it does.

I especially feel it now very often, as if i've been transformed from one world to another -- from a world filled with love, hope and happiness, to a world filled with hurt, despair and sorrow.

So those dramas are right all the whole -- there indeed can be more than one world.

Sometimes i have this strange unexplainable feeling that my life isn't real. It was as if i'm living in a dream, or probably i am in a daze and have this dream-like sensation.

This reminds me of an very old post that i've written when i first started this blog. I wrote about Zhuang Zi dreamt about butterfly, and then he questioned if it was indeed he was a human dreaming about a butterfly, or he was actually a butterfly who dreamed that it was a man?

So on the same token, maybe what i'm living now day-in and day-out is simply a dream?

Anyway, i guess having such feeling is normal for people who are traumatised. Things just happened too fast and too unexpectedly that nothing feels real.

Just a year back, i was living in comfort, own a car, relatively happy in life (job stress aside), with the love of my life by my side, feeling loved and fulfilled.

Then all of the sudden, things changed. I am now stuck in a rented room, commuting by public transport, alone most of the time, feeling hurt and empty.

Frankly, this is not a change that can easily be adapted to, but i guess i should give myself a pat on the shoulder. After being transformed from that world to this, i still manage to be alive and keep my sanity at this very moment, i am not doing too bad i guess.

But then, as usual, i can always do better, in fact a lot better.

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Saturday, November 07, 2009 @ 5:44 am: A note - love yourself
Friday, November 06, 2009 @ 6:09 am: Random updates
Thursday, November 05, 2009 @ 6:16 am: Stressed
Wednesday, November 04, 2009 @ 4:42 am: A new skirt
Wednesday, November 04, 2009 @ 3:50 am: My (and her) theme song 120
Tuesday, November 03, 2009 @ 4:45 am: My dinner
Monday, November 02, 2009 @ 5:20 am: My theme song 119
Monday, November 02, 2009 @ 4:57 am: Well but unwell
Friday, October 30, 2009 @ 7:02 pm: Baggage of the past
Friday, October 30, 2009 @ 6:38 pm: Still sick