Anyway, it's the first day back to work for the new year. I know there will be tons of work awaiting me, and it's gonna be another hectic year.
I had actually wanted to put "to change job" as one of my new year's resolutions, but then decided that i should not change job just for the sake of changing it. I will do so only if i come across a good opportunity, whether in terms of career prospect, or maybe a change of career entirely.
I'll be turning 35 years old soon, and i must really put some very serious thoughts into what i wanna do for the remaining of my career life. How i wish my job is not something that's merely for the sole purpose of putting bread on the table. It's actually a "luxury" that people can do something they like as their career while earning money out of it too. To me, all the while, working is purely functional, for survival only. That is really pathetic.
And what's more pathetic is that i have obligations in life that bind me down. I'm actually rather flexible in my living style; if i earn more, i spend more and enjoy life; if i earn less, i'll just be thrifty and spend only when necessary. But no matter how sparing i can be, i can't ask my mom to lead a frugal life too. I gotta give her a certain sum of money every month to ensure that she can enjoy at least a relatively comfortable lifestyle. This is something i am obligated to do as a child; after all, mom brought me up, provided me with good education, and i've never had to worry about money when i was growing up. Now, it's my turn to make sure she has the same too.
Well, i do have choices of course. As i've said before, we always have choices in life. In every choice we make, there are bound to be things that need to be forgone, or people who will be hurt or sacrificed. For me, i gotta make the choice that i can live with, that i do not feel guilty of at the end of the day. And this often means that the thing that i need to forgo may be my happiness, and the people whom i need to "sacrifice" is myself. Such is life i guess.
Ok, it's time i should get ready for bed already. After all, i have the obligation to go to work tomorrow. And to be in line with what i've set out to do for this year, i must get myself back to normal sleeping hour.
Labels: introspection, life
