I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Friday, March 19, 2010

Back in SG

Was back in SG late afternoon yesterday, safe and sound. Didn't see any red shirts nor blood at BKK. It was peaceful at where i was.

The two-day conference was ok, not as good as the one i attended in the UK last year. This was not as well organised; my colleague from the IT Department was being bossed around, which made me very mad, for i cannot stand people bullying anyone from my department.

The food at the hotel wasn't good, and i didn't get to go out much either. I guess the best part of the conference is having the chance to meet the management teams from other countries, a lot of whom i've talked to over the phone but never met in person.

I also got to meet those colleagues whom i've not met for quite a while, such as the managers from Taiwan and Singapore branch offices. They all said that i now look prettier than before, to which i replied that it was because i've lost weight since they last saw me.

Anyway, here's a picture i took from my hotel room in BKK. I had a nice view of the river.

Took urgent leave today to rest, even though i still spent the entire day working. Am feeling too down to go to work.

YY called yesterday. He was sick and seemed to feel depressed. It has been almost a month since we last talked. He said he want to start afresh with me; he wanted another chance. I just told him that everything is too late already, and there is no such thing as "start afresh", for there are simply too much hurt and memories. Trust, love and relationship, once broken can never be mended back to perfection anymore. And i am a perfectionist.

I was very sad. Still am in fact.

How i wish life can just be simpler and easier. I can only pray to God that He can give me guidance on the paths of the rest of my life.


I noticed your blogs are sad, sorrow and broken hearted and it has been dragged for more than 1 year. I missed the merry and witty (not to mention the eloquence) blog of yours like in the old times. i might be a busybody here, but, I just want to point that life will be more meaningful if lives to the fullest with happiness. In one of your old blog entry, you mentioned the source of your happiness. You lamented it's not easy to forget the past, especially it was 8 years long.... It is hard and painful, especially to the person you have placed trust and love committed grievous betrayal, but, to forgive would have lightened your anger and sadness. Rather than continuing the sorrow and pain, why not give a chance to start anew. Yeah, you probably had offered forgiveness and he had tossed it aside, but past is past - he could have taken such long time to sink in his mistake for real. To forgive the first offence and grant 2nd chance when pleaded is like salvation with new repented life.

I intrude this blog unsolicited, and probably being selfish and simpleton who doesn't understand you. When the choice downs to either to keep or let go ... whatever your choice, I hope you really can stop thinking about sadness and keep moving forward. All I wish is to read from the "real" cheery, happy and articulate lazypinpin just like in the old yesteryears, and I hope this little wish could still come true soon.


Ever told you not to forgive him, but wonder if it'll be better to love him again if it's so painful to move on without able to forget the past..If it took so much effort to be happy again, will it easier to gain the courage to accept him again? I really don't know.. shall we think from another perspective? I'm quite impresssed by this sentense that I heard from 938 live broadcast, 'change your perspective, change your life'.
Have been busy getting use to my life with a little one arrived, just got to follow up your updates and quite sad to know that my best friends are not happy..when can we as happy as before? Maybe when we may think as simple as before?
My friends, may you gals have happiness soon. There can be miracles, when we Believe!

Share your cogitation

Monday, March 15, 2010 @ 4:35 am: In Bangkok
Sunday, March 14, 2010 @ 4:54 am: Packed again
Friday, March 12, 2010 @ 8:31 pm: Down and frustrated
Tuesday, March 09, 2010 @ 4:40 am: Back in SG
Thursday, March 04, 2010 @ 4:12 pm: The sorrowful and resentful me
Sunday, February 28, 2010 @ 5:30 pm: Cold
Tuesday, February 23, 2010 @ 5:27 pm: In USA
Sunday, February 21, 2010 @ 4:18 pm: In Krisflyer Lounge
Sunday, February 21, 2010 @ 5:20 am: All packed
Friday, February 19, 2010 @ 4:36 am: Lousy CNY