It hurts to know that what you are giving doesn't mean a thing. It hurts to know that your effort in being magnanimous is taken for granted. It hurts to know that what you are quietly doing isn't appreciated.
And perhaps what hurts the most is to know that the person you love and whom you thought loved you have never really understood what love truly means, probably since the very beginning and even till this day.
Many people would say i'm being taken advantage of for giving in again and again and again. A lot of people would ask why i still bother to be considerate towards the person who has done me great wrong and ruined my life. Everybody would ask why i still care to honour a promise to the person who has broken the most scared vow of all in the first place. Everyone said i'm being too soft-hearted and do not stand up for what is right for me.
But then i asked myself, what is really right for me? Seriously, i don't know anymore.
All i want is that there will be no more disagreement or argument, and to end things amicably. If that means i have to forgo some insignificant things, then so be it. If by giving up on something will enable both parties to gain something in return, then everything is worthwhile i guess.
Yes, it may be unfair in many people's eyes. It may be stupidity or even idiocy as many see it.
But i am not answerable to these people. How they see it doesn't really matter. What really matters is that at the end of time, i can still stand righteous before The One whom i am really answerable to.
Labels: love
