Anyway, the past week was crazy and i survived it with a rather satisfactory outcome. I am talking about work of course. For personal life, it wasn't as good actually.
Last Friday, YY and i met up and then went to the law firm to sign some papers for the sale of our HDB unit. We chatted for a while, and i'm not gonna relate here on what we talked about. All i wanna say is that it still hurts, especially when i was reminded again of how our lives are now, and will continue to be, two parallel lines that will not cross paths again.
It's not so much of letting go or whatnot. Chinese has a word for the kind of feeling that i am having, and i am not sure which English word can aptly describe it - 感慨. It's kinda like i can't help but lament the unpredictable and sorrowful events in my life, and wonder how things would come to this stage today.
Oh well, i am actually numbed with this kind of feelings already. As i've said before, when you are so used to something, you just kinda live with it, as if it has been there since the day you were born. You would then simply ignore it, or bury it deep in your heart, and do not even wanna talk about it anymore.
Uh huh, in a way, i am like carrying a luggage in my life, packed with memories and sorrows. Yeah, i know, i should unpack it or throw it away, but it's always easier said than done. Now, i do not want to even think too much about how to clear this luggage away, for focusing too much on it only makes it worse sometimes. All i wanna do now is just to live through each day, even if carrying that luggage with me wherever i go, but at least not being weighed down or tumble. Merely doing that, i tell you, will already drain lots of energy out of me.
Whatever it is, that horrible week had passed already, and i am looking forward to a new week in Bali. I am sure it is gonna be a great trip.
Labels: introspection
