Yet, i'm actually feeling rather down recently, for a reason that i am pretending it's not there at all.
Sometimes, something is just hidden deep underneath the surface despite your best effort to ignore it. You can do your best not to think about it, but you can't stop yourself from feeling it.
And when you do feel it, there is nothing you can do really, except continue to pretend that it is not there, continue to ignore it, continue to hypnotise yourself into believing that what you are feeling is just an illusion.
But then, once in a while, all that is pent up inside you just get so bloated that it overpowers and consumes you. It's as if it has a life of its own and you can't control or contain it anymore; in fact, it controls you instead.
That is when you stop wrestling with it. Let it out; let it overflow; let it weight down on you even, but do not attempt to suppress or deny it at all. You know that this is the only way to deflate it before it explodes. You know that all these are just yet another occasional uncontrollable moments that you have, and it will eventual wear off.
Until then, you just have to be patient.
Labels: introspection
