I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Trust, or lack thereof

Had a hefty dinner tonight. Boss and i went to Merchant Court for buffet dinner. I suggested the place because i wanted to have the famous durian pengat, but somehow it wasn't as good as i remembered it. Perhaps it's because it isn't durian season now.

Anyway, you must be wondering why i was having dinner with my boss alone. Well, that's because he needed to talk to me about my "career development", or so as he termed it. As for why he wanted to talk to me about this, i'll not divulge much now until a later stage.

What i wanted to blog about today is not the dinner or the talk. It is about a rather amusing incident.

My boss only arrived in SG this evening and our dinner appointment was at 7pm. It was already 6pm+ when he reached the hotel, and hence he asked me to meet him up at the hotel lobby and then take a cab to the restaurant together.

On our way to the restaurant, his wife rang. Firstly of course my boss told her that he was on his way to dinner. Then from the conversation, i think the wife wanted to fix an electronic device at home and asked for his opinion. My boss did not want to talk much (probably because i was around) and hence he told his wife that he would give her a call in the night after the dinner. He said this several times to her, and also said "bye" several times, but she still kept on talking, apparently disregarding what he said.

After almost 5 minutes of conversation, i think she asked who he was having the dinner with, as i heard him say my name (i think she asked him that because she heard me answering the cab driver about something). Then the next thing he said was, "we had something to talk about" ("我哋有嘢倾"), followed by "got thing to talk about" ("有地嘢要倾"). Apparently, she must be asking him why he was having dinner with me and what are the things that he wanted to talk to me about. Yet my boss probably didn't want to give her the details in front of me and hence simply told her that we had something to chat about.

After that, he ended the conversation (rather abruptly actually, as i didn't hear a "bye"). When we were seated at the restaurant already, he got an sms and after reading it, he laughed out loudly. He then told me that it was from his wife and she told him that her blood pressure was very high then because he did not want to tell her why he needed to talk to me. He then said he would call her later in the night.

Then i didn't feel good about it and told my boss that he should call her right away, and i would not mind if he just go off to another place to talk to her (so that he would not feel awkward talking to her in front of me). I jokingly said to him that he'd better do so quickly, or otherwise her blood pressure will continue to escalate.

Ok, i found this incident rather amusing. I've not met her before but she seems to be a highly suspicious wife. But then perhaps my boss had done something in the past that made her this way, or she feels insecure since my boss travels a lot on his job and is always away from home.

Whatever it is, i felt ridiculous that i was seen in such light. On the other hand, i realised that there are indeed quite a lot of women who would insist on talking on the phone even when the husband already said that he would return the call later, which normally means he is currently busy with some other thing. I've seen similar situation happened on ex-little boss too, whereby the wife called during office hours and kept on talking on the phone even though he said he would call her back.

Frankly, i would think such behaviour is being not understanding. I recall my own behaviours when i was with YY and i had not done that (i would always stop the conversation immediately if he said "i would call you back", as that signified he was tied up with something at that moment), well, until the affair happened.

Uh huh, after the trust was broken, i would insist on finding out where he was, who he was with and what he was doing, disregarding whether or not he could talk at that moment. So perhaps in the cases of those guys, the wives have low trust in them. As for why that is so, i would not know and would not guess either.

Trust is a vital element in any relationships, and even the pillar for a strong and lasting marriage. So, never ever break the trust when you have 100% of it, for even a fraction less of the total trust would mean the end of an otherwise perfect relationship.


ha, is that a treat from your boss , or you have to foot the bill as well too.... i hope the talk had a great outcome even though there was some slight interruption and uneasiness. all the best, pinpin, you should deserve the reward for what you have contributed and sacrificed , don't be shy for that lor. wasn't that your boss 's wife bought you biggest gift among other colleagues long time ago - a bling bling bag :).

when trust is lost, the burden falls to the person who breaks it to prove his innocence, if he still has the conscience of it, and surely it'll take huge effort to rebuild one. and this he should, i mean, come on, what's so hard and loss just for being humble to admit being wrong to our love ones even if it's a petty one. misunderstanding will lead to bigger misunderstanding, and if there is still doubt, it's better to come clean about it before it turns into a nasty fight, and it would be so regret just because it originated from one doesn't understand another. you'll be good, gal. always stay positive and don't think so much about the bad bad things. look forward for good news from you :). cheers.

Share your cogitation

Monday, September 19, 2011 @ 11:48 pm: Wasted weekend
Thursday, September 15, 2011 @ 3:16 am: Exhausted
Monday, September 12, 2011 @ 1:09 pm: Delayed again
Monday, September 12, 2011 @ 3:45 am: The past weekend
Saturday, September 10, 2011 @ 3:50 am: Busy week
Tuesday, September 06, 2011 @ 12:25 am: Theories from FB
Monday, September 05, 2011 @ 4:29 am: Spot the difference
Thursday, September 01, 2011 @ 3:30 am: It's time
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 @ 3:28 am: Not doing anything
Saturday, August 27, 2011 @ 1:41 pm: At HK Airport