This year, i am gonna skip the obligatory "year in retrospect" post, not because i've missed the last day of the year in posting it, but i seriously do not know what to write about the year 2010. The year passed by too fast, and it feels like i've done nothing and yet i've done quite a lot. It feels like i'm still at where i was and yet i've actually marched a step forward.
Just a few weeks back, LF and i chatted about the year that was about to end soon, and we both were amazed at how the year just came to an end like that, without us realising how the days had gone by. We came to a conclusion that when a person needs to focus all her strength in living through the days without breaking down, when she needs to strive so hard to go through each day without giving up, when she needs to clench her teeth to subdue the overwhelming sorrow in her heart, when she needs to use her every breathe in chasing the shadow of far-away happiness despite the brokenness in her life, there is simply no extra energy for her to think about how each day passes. She can only work very hard at everything - at her life, at herself, just so that she will not be defeated by the wretchedness in life, with the hope that one day she will instead trample on the woes and put on a truly blissful smile and cry to the world, "i have survived and i am happy."
But for now, i can only say again, i have survived yet another year, happy or not.
For the new year's resolutions i posted last year, i think i've achieved half and failed half. However, it doesn't matter at all if i did achieve what i set out to do. I guess what really matters is whether or not i had put an effort in working towards achieving it. I think i had; maybe not as much effort as i should have put in, but i did work on it and that in itself is a positive step in my life.
In the wrap-up post last year, i posed a question about year 2010: "What lies ahead of me? What's in store for me? Will it be better, or can it be any worse?"
When the year has finally ended, i still do not have the answer, and the same question could probably be asked about the year 2011 too. Or rather, i do not want to ask the exact same question. I still will not know what lies ahead of me and what plan God has for me, but what i do know is that it will NOT be worse. I want to make it better, in all aspects of my life. It will be better.
If year 2012 is indeed the end of the world, then this is gonna be the very last year of all human lives. Then the more we should savour it, treasure it, and make the best out of it.
Happy New Year, everyone. Do make it a truly happy year, for yourself and your loved ones.
Labels: introspection
