I would turn on the radio every morning and tune in to the morning show on radio while i am dressing up for work. Besides getting entertained and having some sound in the apartment, i'd also keep myself informed of some current affairs since there are new flashes every half-and-hour.
This morning, as one of the show hosts was talking, the other one suddenly shouted "white smoke, white smoke!" At first, i thought there was a fire in the studio. Then i realised he was referring to the white smoke that was coming out from the chimney of Sistine Chapel.
Uh huh, a new Pope had (finally) been elected.
Well, what amazed me was that when i read the news and took a look at the pictures on the Web, i saw thousands of people gathered outside the chapel, waiting for the smoke signal. They cheered and cried when the white smoke and the new Pope appeared. Ok, it must be very emotional and a historical moment for them, but let us not to forget that the one we worship is God and not the Pope.
My friends asked if he is handsome when i told them that i've checked out his picture on the Web. The thing is that looks is not one of the selection criteria for being a Pope. Apparently age isn't too. The new Pope is still very old. I told my friends that even if the newly elected is good looking, he would soon look old and frail too after a couple of years in this post.
There is a tough road ahead of the new Pope. The Roman Catholic church is beleaguered by series of scandals and problems such as child molestation, corruption and homosexual issues. To restore the reputation and faith of the religion will be a great and difficult task for him. May God's anointing be upon him to overcome all the troubles.
Then, there was another news that i heard in the morning which i took no joy in it at all, even though i know a lot of people are happy about it. The parliament here in NZ has voted for the second time on legalising gay marriage and it received a huge majority of supporting votes. This means that it is very likely that the bill will be passed and same sex marriage will be legalised here.
I guess you should be able to tell by now that i am against it. Much have already been said and written all around the world on this topic, from both the supporting and opposing sides. Of course I have my views and thoughts about it but i'm not gonna elaborate it here.
Just to make it clear though - i do NOT think homosexuals are any less human being than heterosexual, as no one in this world is worth any lesser than another. Everyone should be respected as a human being.
However, to me, marriage is another issue altogether and it is not about discrimination or what basic human rights. But then, i know that this is a trend that seems unstoppable and very soon all countries will be legalising it and the future generations will be taking this as a norm as well. Frankly, this does put me in doubt and confusion.
During one of my weekly cell group meetings, our group leader reminded us about the distinction between sins and sinners. God hates sins and sins will doom us; however, God welcomes sinners to His kingdom if we repent and transform. We are all sinners and he loves us all the same.
You probably do not understand why i brought this up and what has it got to do with same sex marriage. Well, never mind. That's all i wanna touch on for this topic. Let's move on to the last piece of news.
Wellington (in fact, i think it's the entire NZ) is having some sort of drought now. The last rainfall was back in early Feb and it wasn't enough to bring up the water level of the rivers, which are the main sources of water for the inhabitants here. A few days back, it was reported that the city now has less than 20 days of water supply, which is nearing crisis point. If there is still no rain anytime soon, we will be having serious water supply issue. The government will be imposing water restriction very soon if the water level continues to dwindle. I read that this is the longest dry spell since 1947!
I thought such situation will only happen in Malaysia, as we seem to experience it almost every year. As the weather is cold here, the water drying up may be less noticeable than in Malaysia when it is so hot. Let's just hope that the rain will come soon.
hmm, i can't imagine your friends raised the question on the look; i would ask which nation he's from instead. both are not relevant anyway, aha... the homosexual issues are big headache for the new pope given the trend the world is heading. well, in future who knows gay marriage will be a norm and acceptable thing, just like what in the past generation people have apprehension views on subjects that are acceptable today, like women shouldn't wear jeans, aha (or it still applies today ..., darn how do i get this idea). time will change indeed. and who knows it is marriage that deemed obsolete and abolished ... i believe in whatever other people do it is their choice of life and business unless it affects us. somehow it kinda gonna affect indirectly like psychologically. isn't that with more peers around one will tend to join into the group too. gee, better stop thinking about that .. then again, why the marriage ?? better really stop thinking about that. gotta hold strong to the self principles when it comes to such confusion. never doubt or argue and have faith :).
in malaysia the water crisis is more due to human management than nature, you'd even have water disruption even there's rain. and there was flood just after few hours of raining. summer just passed, hope there will be raining before winter comes. sigh, the weather these days are becoming more unbecoming. and life still goes on. so how's the lunch for this week? hope you still keep to the habit. even if there's water rationing, don't drink less water and neglect your health. cheers, and have a nice weekend, with rain :).
I have been thinking about what to write for this post - the obligatory post about new year's resolutions. Frankly, there really isn't anything that I could think of.
My FB message tells it all:
Yes, indeed, if there is anything I want for this year, I want to be good to myself. I hope to have peace in my heart and live a quiet yet joyful life here.
I'm not sure if that can be considered as a resolution for the new year, as it is more like something that I want for the rest of my life and not just merely for one year. It is something that I will be in pursuit of constantly, and for once I think I finally know how this can possibly be achieved.
Just before I started writing this post, I was watching the movie "The Green Mile" on tv. This was the third or fourth time I watched this film but I was still touched by it. It reminded me of how the world nowadays no longer believe in the miracles of God, and even ostracise people who speak out or believe in Him.
I do not often talk in length about my religion, whether in this blog or in person. I have actually personally experienced His grace and blessings, often more than I think I deserve. I am really grateful for what were given to me, and I hope and want to be a living testimony of His grace.
For this year, I must develop and strengthen my faith in God. I have to grow spiritually. Only with Him and through Him that true happiness is attainable.
And with God watching over me, I know for sure that the year ahead is gonna be a good one.
怎么样对自己好呢? hmm, i wonder if the FB friends got interrogating or grilling you on this in the 3hrs lapse. when leaving office yesterday, i told my colleagues i had enough of the job and my resolution is to be leaving the office by 6 sharp, which is done on the eve but don't think i can really keep up hor if continue becoming workaholic, haha.everyone's free to make a choice, but it's how we stay true to our words that make us vindicated. somemore, this supposed to be a new year that brings new chart of life fills with goodness and happiness.so pinpin, smile more, laugh more. don't bring yourself miserable anymore, and that includes stop being short temper and overstress. and also avoid torturing, neglecting your health too.
by the way, speaking of new world, gotta involve in more outdoor activities especially especially you are in NZ! don't you have a wish to conquer her mountains, polish up photography skill on all the nice nice landscape. plus, you do seem easily being tired and this slacks your mind hor. being active in activities certainly is a remedy. too much of procrastination from the old world already, so gotta rid them off.
cheers, and 一定要对自己好啊. but ... 还是然睡得晚 ... remember always stay positive, hope you feel GREAT at work tomorrow :)
Instead you believing He is gonna watch over you, it is about time you watch over YOURSELF! I am amazed with our human mind that everything good are because of Him and everything bad are due to our own fault. Get a life lady.
Finally, this shall be the last post about the misfortune.
Hmm, or maybe not.
I am sure that i'll still be blogging about what happened after, especially how i am gonna be tortured by the Malaysia High Commission here for a passport replacement.
In fact, i've called them up today to make an appointment for the passport replacement. Uh huh, one will have to call and make appointment with our country's High Comm for renewing passport. Imagine that.
When i was on the phone with the High Comm officer this morning, she sounded very 'sian'. She told me that i'd need to fill out a form for reporting the lost of my passport, and the form cannot be downloaded from their Website. I must go there personally to fill out the form and submit the other heaps of documents. I bet they aren't gonna make my life easy and i'd have to go there more than once, as many others who had the same experience had shared on the Web.
Anyway, back to the last bit of my series of posts. Where was i? Oh, my thoughts on this incident.
Well, as i've mentioned, i did feel very upset at that moment, and was rather down for the following day too. I am a normal human being after all, and i bet everyone would feel the same if in my shoe.
However, the more i think about it, the more i realised that the situation could have been a lot worse. Amidst the mishap, i saw countless blessings and things to be grateful for. And for that, i truly thank God for it.
First of all, thank God that not all were lost. Whatever that i've lost are things that could be replaced eventually (despite being troublesome), and those are also things that have the least impact to my daily life here.
You see, my job does not require me to travel overseas anymore and hence not having my passport with me does not impact my job or my life here. I know how difficult it is for getting the replacement, but all i have to do is just to run around a few times, spend a few hundreds dollars, and then just wait for it. On a lighter note, i hated the photo in that passport anyway; so now i can get it changed.
As for the Malaysia and Singapore ICs, those are basically useless here because they are not generally accepted as a form of valid identification for foreigners. I can't re-apply them here anyway and so i'll just have to report the lost to the relevant departments, and then apply for the replacement when i'm back in Malaysia and Singapore for holiday next year.
Driving licence, on the other hand, is a valid identification and not having it may pose problem for me driving here. However, i'd have to get a NZ licence sooner or later anyway (we are only allowed to drive with a foreign driving licence for a year here). So the worst case would be for me to just go and get a NZ licence earlier.
Furthermore, i have photocopies of all these identifications and the previous expired passport with me. My birth cert is also still kept safely in JB. Therefore, it isn't really as bad as it appears to be.
As for all the credit/debit/bank cards, i managed to cancel all in time without any losses. I do not have any use of those ATM or debit cards here, and i can ask for new credit cards to be mailed to me here (which i already did last night). In the meantime, i'd just have to use cash, which i do have in my bank because the pay was deposited just in time.
And talking about the bank cards, the unexplainable non-delivery of my bank card here actually was a blessing in disguise! If i had received it as expected, i'd have put it in my wallet and lost it too. Instead, because of the undelivered mail, the bank sent out a new bank card to me with urgent courier service (at no extra charge - i would have to pay for a new card if it was lost), and i got it already yesterday.
Then, there are also things that i REALLY must be grateful for - i did not lose the car key, apartment key and access cards, and my three mobile phones. If these were lost, then my life would surely be greatly affected.
I mentioned in the earlier post that my Danish boss lent his wife's car to me even without me asking. I seriously can't imagine how it would be if i were to lose the car key too. They will only be back from their holiday around mid-January and there is no way for me to get another set of car key from anyone here. This would mean that the car will have to sit at the Briscoes parking lot for weeks, and probably with potential risk of being stolen or towed away, or could not be started when my boss is back (as the battery would probably be drained already). And how am i supposed to explain to my boss about me losing the car key when he entrusted it to me? Now, need i elaborate further how bad it is gonna be if the car key was lost?
(And still having the car now really facilitates my going around settling the issues during these few days.)
Then it is the apartment key and access card. Even though there is no address indicating where i live, there is still a risk that the person might find out. I'd not be able to sleep tight in the night, worrying if anyone would be breaking in to the apartment. Furthermore, i'd be fined heftily too for losing the apartment key and access card. (There is no way that the apartment management can change the lock or security access because there are lots of units in this building and it is gonna affect everyone.)
Finally, it is what really matters to me the most - my mobile phones! I would be in a lot more troubles if i were to lose the phones. Besides all the contacts information, my Singapore and NZ phones are required (for security code) to use the Internet banking for my Singapore and NZ bank accounts. I'd not be able to transfer funds or pay for any bills online, and that will surely have a significant impact on my life here.
So you see, instead of keep harping on what that were lost, shouldn't i actually be grateful for how blessed i was to still have the more crucial things with me? When i started to see things from a different perspective, i realised that i should be joyful about the greater blessings instead of getting knocked down by the minor misfortune.
I know that everything happens for a purpose and God must have His divine plan for me. I may have to learn the lesson, whatever it may be, the hard way, but at the end of the day, God will ALWAYS be looking after me. And He indeed did too this time.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28
As Christian, Holy Spirit dwell within us. My aunt has told me before that sometimes when we feel unsettled or something was stirring inside us, it may actually be Holy Spirit speaking to us but we often disregard it. I remember how i had thought of changing the handbag but i didn't do in the end. For all i know, it might have been a warning but then i didn't heed the advice.
As LF has kept telling me - i need to trust and depend on God more. My faith is too weak. I really need to build up my faith in Him.
There is a long journey ahead of me and i do feel depressed sometimes, thinking that i gotta walk it alone. But then, i gotta remember that i shall NEVER be alone - God is with me, at all times.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:9
glad to learn you finally bounced back, thumbs up! yup, no matter what misfortunes befall, always, always remember that you are not alone and there's light at the end of the tunnel. you don't have to be sad and cry, girl, for that means your faith and belief is shaken. sigh, i don't remember reading you shed tear in 2012 after you announced "change for the better" for this outgoing year's theme. what's more, it's in NZ when it supposed to be great start journey of life. gotta stick to your resolution girl, and believe in your strength. fortunately you acted to make photocopies of the IDs unlike the choice of the handbags. it's difficult to grasp the signs, and accidents do happen, but never be slack away from wiser choice that requires some extra effort. don't be LAZY! perhaps the incident was "designed" to prepare you with toughness and knowledge for journey ahead to avert bigger unknown disaster. reading the mishap still sends shiver down to me , it really could have been worse.
i checked the immigration website, it seems the form is downloadable, or was it a different form. there;s bahagian A, C and E to be filled up for the lost. nevertheless it still requires to be physical there for submission due to the barcode, or alternatively it seems it's possible to request via mailing. in case you missed the website - http://www.kln.gov.my/web/nzl_wellington/passport_renewal luckily the high comm is not in auckland, and isn't auckland the capital of NZ? i wanted to mention about the photo too but then gotta respect that piece of important document a bit ...
gosh, you blogged at 1+ am ! thank you for sharing the story (understand how painful it must be to reminisce the mishap and stress from it, and the fear it could be much worse. it's so terrible!). charge up pinpin, and move forward. hope work so far is great. oh, do exercise and sleep early, lead a healthy lifestyle. i guess somehow the mishap might be a bit related with your attribute easily getting tired. have a nice final weekend of 2012 in NZ. i guess more or less the shopping is complete (or will shopping ever ends for you, haha), time to admire the beauty of NZ with your mom :). again, always stay vigilant and conscious to the surrounding. VIGILANT and CONSCIOUS. cheers, oh, and always be positive too.
Finally, three years after i accepted Christ, i had my water baptism today after the Sunday service.
My mom, SG aunt, LF and another friend CM came to witness the ceremony. After the baptism, we had lunch together and LF bought me a "birthday" cake as i was "born again" today.
Actually Christians are considered saved and born again on the day we accepted Christ and not really on the day of baptism. Nonetheless, today is a day to be remembered.
I took the baptism course back in year 2009 but did not proceed with the baptism since i did not feel ready at that time. Over these few years, pastor had been asking me when i would want to be baptised but as usual, my bad habit of procrastination kicked in. I wanted to but somehow just didn't get around doing it.
Now that I am going overseas soon, i decided that i should proceed with the baptism before i leave. Hence pastor arranged a special baptism just for me today (normally our baptism is carried out every few months for a few members at the same time instead of just for one person). He also had the entire congregation prayed for me and i could feel the blessings from everyone and high above.
ehem, if I remember correctly, sloth is one of the 7 sins ... I don't think it was procrastination but amount of workload you have been into that caused you sleep and health deprivations. And what's better than this period of time apart from the rush. Plus, you have chosen a nice date too, 11-11, it's so easier to remember :). Hopefully (finger cross) you will be firm to rid off procrastination completely just like playing fb games hor. That will be a must-change too. Cheers, and happy birthday (the cake looks so nice and delicious).
It has been three days already and my body is still aching all over - the neck, shoulders, lower back, arms and legs. This makes me realise that age is really catching up and i seriously ought to do more exercise.
The body ache was a result of a full-day activity on last Friday. It was a public holiday in Malaysia and our church held a holiday camp at a primary school. It was a full-day event (8am to 6pm) at the school with the aim to have the school students to know God and to learn the right values in life. Our church organises this camp every year and has been receiving such good review that the number of yearly participants increases every year, as the students who have participated in the previous year's event would join again and recommend it to their school mates too.
This year, we had the largest group ever, with over 500 kids from primary 3 to 6. We had over 100 volunteers from the church helping out in the event, and most of the volunteers were from the youth ministry, which means they are youngsters who can get along well with the kids. The students were divided into teams and each team was assigned with 4 or 5 volunteers as "teachers" to lead the team. I was one of the teachers for a team and also the oldest teachers out of the three in the team. The other three were from the youth ministry, who are students from secondary 3, 4 and college.
It was an event filled with activities, with a lot of games, singing, dancing and running around. The kids were also very energetic and difficult to control. Some were so naughty that they weren't afraid of the teachers at all and would intentionally did the opposite of what we told them to do. It was really energy draining to lead these kids. I also found it hard to mingle with them, probably because of generation gap or maybe due to my less active (read: nerdy) personality. I did not know what to say to them at all, as i was never good in doing kiddy or childish talk or acts. The other three volunteers in my team, on the other hand, got along very well with the kids and were like friends to them by by mid-day.
As the volunteers gotta gather earlier at 7am and stayed till 8pm (for dinner), i was totally bushed after i got home on Friday night. Then on Saturday, i found myself aching all over and am still aching today. I guess all the dancing and jumping (and sitting on the floor) are considered excessive exercising for me.
Nonetheless, the pain is all worthwhile as we were doing God's work. It was definitely a purposeful day than any other days when i just idled at home doing nothing meaningful.
Haha,to simply blame on generation gap. But then if you tell them about snoopy or peanuts, it'd be then so outdated - kids nowadays are talking smartphones and iPad, which cool gadgets for adults too. Dancing and singing, I just can't imagine of you doing that :P. And hope you had fun too for the last weekend :). Indeed you ought to exercise lot (don't tell you skipped gym) especially with much much free time right now. See-lah, chase a kid also no energy, haiya ... Cheers, and be happy cheerful girl, so kids next time won't scare of you hor :).
The theme for year 2010 was "Stay Focused, Travel Light".
Last year was "Walk in Love, Serve by Faith".
Then this morning, i attended the first Sunday service of year 2012 and was astounded when i saw this on the wall and on the bulletin:
The theme for year 2012 for us from the Almighty is this - "Changed to Change".
I am in awe.
If you read this post first without reading the last one, you may not understand why i was so amazed. Before i wrote the post at the wee hour of this morning, i had a long chat with LF over the phone yesterday. We spoke about how i should make changes for this year. I then wrote about how year 2012 is gonna be the year of change for me without knowing that this is the exact theme for the church for this year too.
this is all so connected - the theme indeed suits you! so this year really must change for the better, gal, and don't repeat the same mistake again. changed to change! cheers, and happy new year.
Left office at around 9:30pm yesterday. I guess it's gonna be another week of late nights. I'm kinda tired of always being the one locking the door. Sigh.
Anyway, let's get down to the post i mentioned yesterday. Well, i guess i'll have to make this post shorter. It would have been in more details if i had written it on Sunday. Thoughts are lost bit-by-bit each day and hence i would have less to say about an incident if i do not blog about it on the same day.
Before getting into the story, let me mention first that i have received my SG driving license by post on Friday. It has not even been a month since i went to renew it at the SG traffic police. That was rather efficient, and it really came just in time for something that happened on the following day. It's simply amazing how God works.
On Sunday morning, as usual, mom and i left home at around 9:45am for the church. And as usual, i was the one driving her car.
We reached the shop lots where our church is located and there was no parking space nearby. I decided that i gotta park the car at a parking lot that is at a rather far opposite of the shop lots and then walk to the church.
Just as i was about to drive out into the main road, mom told me that i just passed by a vacant parking space. I hesitated for a moment if i should still drive out to the main road (which is a huge roundabout) and turn back later for this parking space, or reverse the car to get to it. I looked into the rear mirror and saw there was no car behind, and hence i decided that i would just reverse the car since the parking space might be taken if i were to drive one big round and come back.
As i just shifted into the reverse gear, looked into the rear mirror and started reversing the car for not even 10 inches, i heard a loud honk followed by a very loud bang accompanied with a slight jerk.
Yes, that was it. I just hit another car.
Just for you to visualise what happened, here is a very quick draft i drew about what happened:
The box arrows are the flow of traffic; the "X" mark is where the parking space that i wanted to get to; the blue car was mom's car with the blue arrow showing that it was reversing; the red car is the other car that came in from the main road. So as you can see, the back bumper of our car banged into the front of the other car near the driver's seat.
The damage was not very serious on that car, but there was a dent and the driver's seat door could not open fully because of it. As for my mom's car, the bumper was scratched and loosened a bit.
Naturally, when such accident happened, the driver whose car was hit would definitely be super pissed. So this young guy, who looked rather "Ah Beng" (with golden hair and ear rings), got down from his car and looked really mad. He did a hand gesture at me, signalling "what the hell are you doing?", but before he could say anything, i immediately said, "sorry sorry."
He then, still pissed, said to me, "what is the use of saying sorry now?!" ("sorry 有什么用?!") I guess he thought that i wanna say sorry and then wriggle my way out of it.
I then said to him calmly (in Mandarin), "ok, it was my fault and i will pay for the cost of repairing your car." He was then quite surprised and asked me, "you do not want to claim from insurance?" I told him no and i would pay cash for the damages. I then asked him if he knew any workshop for repairing the car; if not, i know someone (my cousin) and could bring him there. He told me that he had his own contact and then proceeded to make a phone call. After the call, i told him that we should move the cars to the side so that we would not obstruct the traffic.
After we moved the cars, i waited for his friends to show up. There was a girl in the car with him and did not say anything much. This guy, who had apparently simmered down after seeing my humble and apologetic attitude, said jokingly to me, "(little) sister, why are you so careless?" ("小妹，为什么那么不小心？")
I did not know how to react to his remarks and just looked at him without answering. At that time, i was just amused and was thinking to myself, "little boy, when you were still in Pampers, i was in school already, ok?!"
He then asked for my IC, to which i told him that i do not have one because i just lost my wallet recently. At first he did not believe me and thought i did not want to show him my IC. I then gave him my name card, wrote my Malaysia IC number, personal mobile phone number, my mom's mobile phone number and my JB home phone number on it. I then took out the SG driving license that i just received on Friday and told him that this was the only identification i have with me. It was then he believed that i was telling the truth. The girl in the car then said that it seemed like i was down in my luck recently and i should go and pray at temple. I did not reply and just smiled.
(I wonder how the boy felt when he saw my date of birth and realised that i am not little sister 小妹 but big sister 大姐)
While we were waiting for his friends, my mom drove the car away to look for a space to park the car properly. He then realised that he did not take down my car number and then looked for my mom's car, which had been driven away already. I then told him that we were rushing to attend church and reassured him that i would pay for the repair cost, but also said that i put my trust in him for a reasonable repair cost and not taking advantage of me by quoting a high price.
His friend finally arrived about 10 minutes later (two older guys and one older lady, probably around 30 of age). One of the guys looked at the damage and passed a remark that the damage seemed serious and it might cost a lot because they would probably need to change the entire piece of car body panel. I felt that he was only saying this just so that he could ask for more from me, because the dent wasn't really very bad and could have been knocked back. Yet, i kept quiet and did not say anything.
The lady then asked me to write down my home address on my name card too, and all the three persons again did not believe me when i said i did not have my IC because i lost my wallet. They then told me to follow them to a nearby workshop for an assessment of the repair cost. I refused to go with them and told them that i gotta attend church. I told them to just go ahead to drive the car to the workshop, and i will pay for the repair cost. I again re-iterated that i believed they would not cheat me and would give me the real cost of repairing.
And with that, we ended the "negotiation" and left the scene. I was still in time to have a quick breakfast and attend the Sunday service. Yet, while i was having breakfast, i realised that i did not do the basic things that i should have done after a car accident - i did not note down the contact and car plate number of the other driver, and i didn't even take picture of the damage.
It was very careless of me, for i just wanted to leave quickly. I also realised that i was taking a huge risk in trusting the person to not take this as a chance to extort a huge sum from me by asking the workshop to issue a big bill (which a lot of people do so).
To say that i didn't panic at all would be a lie. Apparently, from the fact that me forgetting to do all the basic things after the accident would have shown that i was actually quite nervous. Yet, the person could not tell at all. I appeared to be very composed. I did not argue with him, talked to him in a calm manner, told him to clear the traffic, and settled the issue quickly (by agreeing to pay). The entire incident was settled within just 20 minutes or so, and half the time was actually spent waiting for his friend to arrive at the scene.
Ok, you see, if you look at my drawing of the scene again, i could have argued with him if i wanted. Since i was reversing within my own lane, i was not wrong if i did not pay attention to the right side. Supposedly what happened on my right side did not concern me since i was driving within the left lane. He actually drove into my lane when he came in from the main road, and that was how i would bang into his car.
However, i did not argue with him because i did break the traffic rule by reversing at that junction even though there was no car behind me. I was wrong in wanting to take a shortcut and not abiding by the rule, and the other car making a mistake too does not relieve me of my wrongdoing. If i am wrong, i am wrong; there is no excuse to it. And since i am wrong, then i'll have to pay for the consequence and the price; there is no other way around it. To me, this is the right and just thing to do. I have answered to my conscience and to God.
And since i've done my part, what the other person would do is beyond my control. He could choose to be truthful about the repair cost, or he could cheat me. His choice will be his own consequence to bear, and since i had already agreed to pay for it, i will pay for it no matter what, even if he asked for 4-digit figures.
(This belief and attitude not only apply to this accident but it is the way that i want to approach my life and in everything i do.)
Then the amazing thing was that during the sermon on that day, the pastor shared this with us: "Faith is... doing the right thing regardless of the consequences, knowing God will turn the ultimate effect to good - Pamela Reeve".
At first during the service, i was still feeling unrest at heart because i was still disturbed by the accident. In fact, i've been feeling rather down about some incidents at work and also the impending meeting with a lawyer on my case. My mind had actually been in a state of flux over the past weeks.
Yet, after the accident and from the sermon, i started to feel relief, for i felt that things would turn out all fine eventually. I decided that i would just have to do the right thing, pray hard and let God do His work on me. He will pave the way for me and give me strength in times of turbulence. My mind was then at ease after that.
So how did the story end? Well, after the service, i returned the missed call from the driver and was told that the repair cost would be RM550. I immediately agreed to it and they would contact me again about two or three days later after the repair.
girl, you shouldn't have just given you IC number and home address like that. you could have just passed your name card, and mobile number (test dialling first) for him to reach you. even your sincerity is laudable and admired, not everyone would be like him. there's so much risk to give away your IDs to a stranger, even you are being honest and truthful to settle the bill. But then, even if he's trying to charge you with expensive bill, you can still choose to avoid paying it if is unreasonable. anyway, i'm glad things turned out to be fine and settled amicably. sigh, you must be sleeping late again on previous saturday (why, why, why)! faith is one thing, and this is the result of action that has happened. for most of the time don't let your guard down and stay rational, and be extra careful especially during driving.
don't think too much about the accident and fuss about it. if you are still worried, try to think other things, maybe about work, project to divert the matter. what has happened already happened, and since you have already budgeted the amount, so be it. about meeting the guy, i think you should have someone to accompany you, maybe your aunt or colleague instead of being alone. sigh, though i kind of hate to mention this, perhaps this would be a lesson, an expensive one, to be vigilant and more alert to the surroundings, especially driving. and, please don't sleep in the cab, sleep early and stay conscious at all times .... cheers.
Am feeling down over a certain event recently, and i do not intend to relate the incident here, but i do have some thoughts because of it.
Here's an email i wrote to LF this afternoon:
It's ironic how the people who are hurt will need a long time to slowly "forget" the incident (if it can really be forgotten), and yet the people who hurt the others will just conveniently and quickly forget about it and carry on with their lives, as if all are fine and everything is behind them already.
Sometimes just feel silly... it is indeed everything is behind us already, but we are clinging on to something that we should have let go of... for no reason at all.
Humans are frail.
Indeed we are, weak in the mind, corrupted in the soul and evil in nature.
A lot of times, the vengeful nature of our human side would tell us to take justice into our own hands, telling ourselves that we have been treated unjustly, we have been wronged, and we want vindication.
Yet, if we can clam down and think things through, we should realise that there should always be only one reaction or response to the situations, which is in the manner that would please God.
Again, He spoke to me through the past Sunday sermon:
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. ~ 1 Peter 3:9
Yes, for those who have been wronged and are impelled to act in a vindictive manner, remember this:
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. ~ Romans 12:17-19
We just do our part and leave the rest to the Almighty.
if the person is intentionally causing hurt, why would it still cling on it when it should never have done it at first place. this type of person will always find excuse to justify their action and blame for others or environment instead. they don't have reflection of themselves how damage and the consequence they have caused. in other word, selfish. if only everyone like you has sense of responsibility, and reflection ...
just stay away don't bother and think that person/event and focus yourself instead for recovery. sometimes it's difficult when you have to cross path with the person (don't be stupid to ignore and let go what is not rightfully yours). if you are to be vengeful and try to revenge you are no different from the selfish person. let that person meets its own fate, there's always invisible hand that justice will happen due to its action.
by the way, i thought you made resolution not to blog/fb/youtube after work and never sleep 4-5 hours everyday. don't sleep late anymore and causing your health deteriorate! you still have better life to march on. otherwise, if you fall sick and weak, you're sending message that evil prevails.. cheers.
(For those who may not get it, i'll just make it known up-front that the title of this post has dual meanings.)
This morning at Sunday church service during the sermon, the pastor told us a joke.
A man was driving a BMW and the car suddenly went out of control heading towards the cliff. To save his own life, he had to jump off the car even though his left hand was stuck. He did so and lost his left arm. As he was standing beside the cliff looking at his wrecked car, he cried, "oh no, oh no, my BMW!!!"
Then a passerby saw what happened and came to help. He was stunned at the man's reaction and asked him, "hey, why are you crying over your car when you have just lost your left arm?!"
The man only then realised that he had lost his left arm and cried out, "oh no, oh no, my Rolex!!!"
There's a reason why i relate this joke.
Before that, i shall relate another two conversations i had with my colleagues.
During one of the days last week when i was having lunch with the two IT guys, i casually told them that i might be buying a luxury watch at about SGD2.5K. Then they raised their brows and asked me, "what is the purpose of a watch?"
I replied, "Erm, to tell time."
Then the asked me again, "then why would you want to spend a few thousands dollars on a watch, when a cheaper one can also serve the purpose?"
And to that i replied, "Well, nothing but vanity lor!"
"Exactly!" they said.
They then asked me why i would spend so much on a watch when it took me so long to consider buying the Nikon D90 that would cost less than that amount. One of them then jokingly said to me that i can always use that sum of money to buy the DSLR and a replica TAG Heuer, and then i'd have both items. I laughed and told them that i do not buy fake branded stuff.
As i was mulling over their words, i had a chat with little brother and told him about the conversation. Being a photography enthusiast, he has been urging me to buy the DSLR for months. He then sent me a link and told me that i should not be spending money on doodads.
He said some people may consider a DSLR as doodad too, but photography is a good hobby that can cultivate inner being, whereas luxury items such as an expensive watch will only cultivate vanity. He said that once i start wearing this expensive watch, then i'd wanna a bag of equal value to go with it; after that, i'd want the clothes, shoes, and everything else to match it too. Before i know it, i'd become a person who wants everything branded from head to toe.
Furthermore, if i get really good in photography, i may even be able to earn money out of this hobby one day. Even if i am not able to do that, i still get a hobby and also capturing all the good memories into nice pictures. Yet, a luxury watch would really bring me nothing but vainglory.
Actually i do know and understand whatever that the guys had said to me, even before i spoke to them. And seriously, i am never the kind of person who would go for luxury brands on everything i use and wear even if i could afford it. This time, perhaps it so happened that i wanted to get a new watch and this offer came up, and so i kinda go with the flow. I guess a person would just lose sight of oneself sometimes, until the people around you pull you back. That's why i always believe that it is very important to surround yourself with the right company. We are who we mix with; the people around us can help to make us or break us.
(I am making that statement in a general sense, and NOT saying that those who do get luxury watches or expensive branded stuff are no good. It's personal choice and also depends on whether or not it is within one's means. In my case, i do have other things that i want to get, such as the DSLR, and i shouldn't be squandering my hard-earned money senselessly when i should actually plan my spending carefully.)
Anyway, last Friday LF came in to SG and i took the afternoon off to go shopping with her. I bought two watches of different styles, which cost me about SGD400+ in total. Well, you see, i ended up getting normal watches, but hey, at least now i have different watches to go with my outfits. And, i still have the budget to get the DSLR!
(Ok, you may be wondering why i would get two watches instead of one, if all i need is just something to tell time. Well, let's just say that i do not believe in living below my means either... Yeah, i know, vanity still plays a part there, but then it's already very much a toned down version!)
So, going back to the beginning of this post about the sermon. I've often felt that God always speaks to me through the sermons on Sunday. This time, yet again, heavenly Father spoke and reminded me again of what kind of child He would want me to be.
work for ~10 hours, fulfilled responsibility, being perfectionist and maintained "excellence" for your department, you should deserve reward of this "vanity", and bill it to your company :O. well, when it comes to personal preference, money should not really matter if you like it indeed. what's more money earned is money to be spent. i might be pessimist, but wearing $$$ watch i think heightens sense of insecurity, vulnerability (ah, scratches!!) and promotes envy.
but then, when it comes to practicality (for someone like you who claims to walk in fast pace :) ), dslr is better choice-lor. and getting good dslr (and comes with $$$ pricing) not only allow capturing good quality photos, but also provide better training and skill honing of your "new" hobby. if you serious, go for the best tool. little brother is genius in pointing out this hobby may become your second income generator (vanity makes you addicted for more spending), and then you can relax a bit in your primary job - no more work ~10hours. and one day when you mastered capturing beautiful pictures, you could proudly show your masterpiece to everyone unlike your pathetic snoopy drawing-lor. do you have any work/skill you can proud of (not your writing skill, blogging and treasure hunt contests)? maybe photography will be your new discovery talent :)
ah, you already made the decision to scrap $$$ watch. yeah, go for the dslr! you have little brother to share the enthusiam with you, and that's great one! :).
ah, the strips are obsolete and i'm super late. this is good posting and it's waste if not to put it in comics. (and sorry for twisting the actual event, you don't mind?). i wanted to finish all of them last week and apparently my skill is not enough good (must keep on practice). and my slave-driving company kept me away from my personal endeavor on weekdays :(.
anyway, you should have already made your decision. when browsing your postings on travel to get pictures for the strip, i noticed you really have talent in photography (not just writing). and you were not using DSLR then. this makes me to think if you should opt for LASIK surgery instead. well, if you read the famous blogger's article on the surgery, it's cool to transform from wearing glasses to be no longer short sighted. certainly you have to stop crying and think about any sadness-lor.
ah, don't sue me for using your photos on the strips.
Am back in SG now. Was back in JB yesterday at around 4pm. Feeling very tired now and still need lots of rest.
I had an enjoyable time at the church camp. The sermons were great and the game was fun, even though the event organising part was a bit weak.
Here are some pictures taken during the camp:
The swimming pool overlooking the sea. (This is the pool where mom got baptised. I didn't know that the baptism was not taking place at the sea but in the swimming pool instead)
The Desaru beach.
And of course, the highlight of the church camp for mom and I was her baptism (on 6-Jun)
Mom has made a public declaration that she will live a Christian life. She is now reborn in Christ. I have seen some positive changes in mom since she accepted Christ into her life. I am grateful for that.
It's gonna be another long weekend for me. Mom and I will be going to Desaru for 3 days. We will be back on Monday, and I've taken leave for Tuesday to rest and to return to SG.
We are attending a family camp organised by our church (Chinese section). There are about 150 participants, and about 20 will be baptised at the Desaru sea, one of them is my mom.
Uh huh, mom is going to be baptised before me. As for me, I've actually contemplated if I should be baptised at the same time too, but then decided not to. I feel that I'm not ready yet, or rather, I'm waiting for God's timing. He will tell me when it's time for me.
LF is going with us too. She's actually staying over at my home tonight.
I cried again, but this time it was because i was touched, right to the soul.
I hardly watch television, and when i do, i do not really tune in to Singapore channels.
Today i saw a link from my friend on the Facebook, and it is actually a rather old show.
Then from the YouTube link, i realised that this little girl had actually performed on Channel U before:
A little girl, born blind and abandoned by her parents, could play the piano so well without any formal training. How could this even be possible if it's not a miracle?
And her foster parents, who are infertile, adopted her even though she is visually impaired. You could tell from the video clips that Yee-Eun's mother, who has a very benevolent look, really loves her very much, as the mother cried every single time when she watched and listened to Yee-Eun's performances. This is true selfless love.
Yes, just like the song Yee-Eun sang, "You are born for love" (你是为爱而生). God may have taken away her vision, but He gave her an even greater gift in life, showing the world what miracle there can be.
And this is the manifestation of God's love for us.
"You Raise Me Up"
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary; When troubles come and my heart burdened be; Then, I am still and wait here in the silence, Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger; Each restless heart beats so imperfectly; But when you come and I am filled with wonder, Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Uh huh, i still get it every once in a while, even though it has decreased in frequency and perhaps magnitude too. Yet, the sadness can still be paralysing sometimes.
I was doing my best to not think about it so that i would not cry again, but i do not know why my heart was calling out "贝贝" like the old days and i felt very sad.
It was then i saw my a new drawing from angel:
This came just in time, when i was feeling down. Thank you, angel, once again.
You sure have a talent in arts. I simply love this drawing, beautiful and encouraging. The second column was especially touching, as if God is shining His light on me, wiping away the tears of sorrow.
In fact, just before that, i was thinking to myself that how lonely i am and how i am going to be all alone at my old age. Then a voice in my head said to me, "you are never alone, for you will always have me".
No no no, it wasn't so dramatic as portrayed in movies, whereby there was a thunderous sound from high above, saying all the words in a male voice. It was simply a thought that suddenly crossed my mind, just when i was feeling sorry for myself about being all alone. Nonetheless, God may have indeed spoken to me through these thoughts, reminding me of His grace and how He will never forsake me.
To my friend in sorrow, you too, must never forget that God will always be by your side. We gotta be strong.
sigh, i read you had "ordinary" weekend, but who would think the "ordinary" is reminising the past and feeling sad. I've thought your ordinary is watching TV/movie, chitchat with family/friends and sleeping, and staying cheerful...
Remember the theme song #122 you recently posted - 别再哭了 多不值得.Please stop crying anymore, it's not worth it. it's not worth a single bit.....
Until today, i still do not know the proper way of praying.
I know that we are supposed to pray everyday, but sorry to say that i have not been doing it conscientiously.
And when i do pray, i normally just talk to God in my heart, as if i am talking to another person. I've listened to the others prayed before and i know that i am not doing it right.
But then, there is one thing i am doing it right.
During the Sunday service, the pastor quoted a phrase in his sermon, "Pray not for a lighter burden, but for stronger shoulders".
This phrase touched me deeply, as it strengthened my belief that all hardships in our lives are trials to make us stronger and better.
So far, i've not prayed for God to remove the pain i was and am going through. I've always been asking him to guide me and to show me the right path, to give me the strength to go through the difficulties and the courage to face whatever that may come my way.
I do not know why it never occurred to me before to just ask Him to simply remove my miseries. Somehow, i just need to believe that there is a purpose for me to go through this ordeal. And if there is a purpose to it, then i should not ask for it not to happen, but rather, to ask for the guidance on how to go through it in the way that He has intended.
During the volunteer class last Saturday, the counsellor also said something rather similar. She said that it is always during time of difficulties that she comes to realise how strong she is. I have the exact sentiment.
A lot of times, we think that we would simply crumple and die if certain event were to happen to us. Yet, when the event does indeed happen, the choices we make can very well steer us to better or to worse. As for me, i realised that i can be strong if i want to be. It is never easy, but i can, if i want to.
Before i became a Christian, i was a free thinker. I do not believe that our lives are predestined or controlled by a supernatural power. The notion of what we did in our previous lives had predetermined the good and bad things that will happen to us in this lifetime is even more far-fetched to me.
In fact, i do not like this kind of thoughts at all, for it gives a very passive way to life and justifies some of the bad events through "fault shifting" and avoiding taking responsibilities of the decisions we make for our own lives. It is as good as saying, "don't blame me for not able to do right or do good, because this is a debt from my previous life and it bound to happen. I have no control over it."
I simply cannot accept such irresponsible notion to life.
I believed that the series of events in our lives are the chain reactions of the choices we make. At every moment in our lives, we are to make choices, big and small. For instance, just at this very moment, i can either choose to switch off my laptop and go to bed, or i can choose to continue blogging. And the choice i make will then have an effect on the outcome and available choices of the subsequent events. That was why i had always told people that i do not believe in God or any deity; i believe in free will.
Yet, after i have a better understanding of Christianity, it is then i realised that what i had always believed in was not too far from it. It was a misconception that i have always had about God.
God does not control the lives of each and everyone of us. Yes, He is almighty and He does have the control and power over it, but He does not do it because of His love for us. God did not create human to make us His puppets. He does not have a book that already have all the life stories written down for everyone of us; He does not predetermine our lives and dictate what will happen to us.
God loves us and hence He also gives everyone of us free will, i.e. the freedom to choose. He told us what is the right and wrong things to do through the Bible, and expects us to follow the words and hence make the right choice when we are given the freedom to choose.
It is just like the story of Adam and Eve. God could have used His power to stop them from eating the fruits of the tree, but He didn't. He told them not to eat and then still allow them to have the choice, for He expects them to follow His words. Yet, they were tempted by Satan, and chose to succumb to the temptation instead of following the words of God. Then of course, when they did not choose to do the right things, then God will intervene to make things right and they will have to face the consequences of their choices.
So all along, what i believed in about free will of human does not really contradict Christianity. It is just that i need to go a step further and let the choices we make be guided by the words of God, so that what we choose will be right and good.
I am still very new and even weak in my faith, but at least this is what i understand.
And for now, it is time for me to choose to go to bed.
There were only three persons attending the class. The other two are guys, one Indian and one Chinese.
The Chinese guy has been a Christian for 7 years and he could even memorise the verse in the Bible. I'm not sure why he only decided to be baptised now. I think it may be because he's getting married soon and probably his fiance has already been baptised.
I've actually noticed them every Sunday when i'm at the Sunday service because of two things: (1) They are always at least half-an-hour late every week and need the ushers to look for seats for them (and i do not like this because i can't understand why they can't leave home a bit earlier and be on time for the service). (2) They are very loving couple (once they were late as usual and so happened to be seated in front of me. When the pastor asked everyone to greet the persons around us, the guy kissed the gal on her cheek, gazed lovingly into her eyes and wished her morning.)
Anyway, during the class when touched upon to topic of faith, the teacher asked if we believed that we are going to heaven, the Indian guy kept quiet, the Chinese guy replied a very affirmative "yes", and i said, "no, not at this moment".
Then the teacher said that if we have enough faith, we should believe that there is a place for us in heaven, for this is the promise to us from God and He never lies. And if we have a strong faith in living the Christianity life, why would we doubt that we will be going to heaven?
I then told him that i have no doubt in Him, but the doubt is in myself. I said we were educated since young to analyse things with science and with logical thinking. Yet there are things in the Bible that i cannot comprehend and sometimes doubts will come into my mind. Hence i do believe in God, but the one whom i do not believe is actually myself.
To that, the teacher smiled and said that it is a choice that we consciously make, whether to believe or not to believe. Since the dawn of age, there have been a lot of miracles around the world that even the scientists could not provide a plausible explanation. When we are faced with unexplainable events in life, it is up to us to just believe or to doubt.
The session today actually had me re-think about whether or not i should wait for a longer while before i get baptised. I have been postponing it because i feel that my faith in Christianity is still not strong enough. When i am baptised, i want myself to be truely devoted without a singe doubt.
But then, being a baby Christian who has yet to grow further in the knowledge and faith in Christianity, be it due to Satan's work or my own cynical nature, doubts often creep in and hinder me from strengthening my faith. All my life, i've hated hypocrites. Hence i asked myself if i am really ready to make the declaration to the world that i am a Christian if i am not practising it to its fullest, whether spiritually or physically.
I know mom will be disappointed if i am not baptised together with her, but then it is not about her but my relationship with God. I really need to think about it.
Nevertheless, i should still complete the class next week, and the decision can come later.
